Dozing
by Kosma Bandra
Summary: Sonic didn't work out. Scourge left. And Amy is a bigger wreck than before the first incident. In his absence, Amy is stuck in a haze-desperate to make sense of his departure and burdened by her friends' concern for her well-being. But there's something else-something big-that she can't ignore. Will another suitor be able to wake her up? The Spectacular Sequel of Sleeping. Complete
1. Soon We'll Be Found

Hi. Happy Fourth of July.

Now that we've gotten our awkward hello's out of the way, it's good to be back. And I know what all of you are saying. Yes, I should have updated in January. Yes, this sequel should have been done and over with a long time ago. But college is a lot of work. So is life.

But I'm not going to get into all of that. At least not right now.

So here is the sequel of _Sleeping_. I'm not sure if it will be particularly glitzy or satisfying for all of you, but I worked hard on it. It's a pretty long chap, and I'm sorry if I had to compromise grammar/spell check to write it. But it's fan fiction. I trust you're not _too_ picky. Anyway, thank you all for your support for this story. I wrote it on a random limb and I never expected it to be this big. But I'm grateful. :)

So scroll on down. _Dozing_ awaits.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own SEGA or its characters that appear in this work. There. Why the heck do I _still_ have to do this, SEGA?

Enjoy.

* * *

_First comes love. Then what? My heart being thrown and smashed to the ground for no reason?_

Chapter 1: Soon We'll Be Found

There are worse things to cry about.

Losing a job. A child. Even a love.

Especially a love.

But even here—in the guest room, in all of my convoluted misery—did I have a reason to cry? Any vindication to this sob story?

_Of course not,_ I decided, suppressing another crying fit. My supposed love had _left_ me—he ran away with no promise of ever coming back. I wiped my eyes clean of my salty leakage. I wasn't supposed to feel remorse. I wasn't suppose to feel at all. I wanted to practice numbness, to be utterly unaffected. It would be a welcomed change.

But with his leaving, he also stole a part of me. My heart. I'm sorry if that sounded cliché. And I'm also sorry if I was coming off as a whiny little girl who needed to grow up and realize that being loved was just a dream that I had no right to dream. But what's new? I was miserable again, and I would always find myself apologizing for things that weren't completely my fault.

"Amy?" I spun around lightly, trying to hide the disdain from my eyes as I faced my feline friend. _I couldn't even lock the door during my depressing reflection time? _My reward was being confronted by her. But wasn't it me who brought myself here in the first place?

Of course it was me. I mean, aside from her somewhat over-concerned nature, Blaze had every reason to be suspicious of me.

"So," she began, the words hanging onto her tongue as she tried to study me objectively, "are the dreams better?"

I nodded once. "Yes." More like _hell they were_ but what was I supposed to say? I could feel that I was becoming a burden, and I didn't want to give her the indication that I wasn't getting better under her care. I straddled my maroon overnight bag over my shoulder and tried to force a smile—something I hadn't done naturally since the days he was in my life. Now I was in a _daze_, and I had no idea what to do—no idea who to really trust and depend on. Even with Blaze's friendly hospitality. Because what is friendship? What is a romantic relationship when a lover gets up and leaves you?

I released a sigh before taking note of Blaze's face, twitching in an effort to avoid frowning. I fought the urge to sigh once more. My negative presence wasn't good for her either. I had to stop bumming myself out. I didn't want to burrow myself into another destructive hole. _Just stop it. _

"Thanks for letting me stay here, Blaze." I tried to restore a grin. "_Again._"

I sucked in the light lavender air between us, evaluating the distance between us. Although I was a guest in her home, only a fool couldn't tell that there was tension between us. So speaking for _me_ and my pathetic sate, I was surprised I could.

"I'm sorry if I've been an inconvenience," I added, averting my eyes to the champagne rug beneath my feet. Who was I kidding? Inconvenience was an understatement of epic proportions. I became a hell of a lot more than that the moment I stepped in front of Blaze's door, bearing my burdens as if she asked for them.

And maybe she did, in theory. Just not in the bottled up, excessive manner that I spilled them. The point is, I was taking advantage of her hospitality, which was somewhat ironic because the only reason I was here—all the time—was because I had been taken advantage of. Or hadn't. God, I didn't know. That's what made the whole thing so devastating. When the hell do I move on? _Can _I even move on?

And here I was, back in the worst kind of limbo._ I'm just a confused wreck, and I don't know where I belong._

"It's fine, Amy," Blaze finally said, the words once again hanging on her tongue, as if she wasn't quite sure that she wanted me to catch them. It was as if we'd made no progress. "I just hope that the nightmares are ceasing."

I nodded reluctantly, realizing the delusion in her words. How could I stop having nightmares? I had unresolved issues. The sadistic dreams I had were merely a twisted reflection of my nightmarish life. I was haunted by _him._ There was no confirmation. No signs. No...goodbye.

"Amy," Blaze called out softly, that worry she seemed unnaturally accustomed to heightening beyond measure as her ember eyes simmered against mine.

I have to admit, even in my clearly devastated state, I wanted to roll my eyes. Not at her, though. It was me. Blaze was a good friend. A good, concerned friend. And I had no right to storm all over her life, raining misery and gloominess and all of my tragic jazz. Just because I was a withering rose didn't mean that I could let her rot with me.

"...It's been six weeks..." she continued, her voice painfully apologetic as if _she_ had something to be sorry about. Maybe I was right; maybe she was sick of me. "...Now, I don't expect you to be over Scourge or anything but..." She stopped briefly to look at me and I tried to hold my ground. "...Why won't you tell me more? I want to help."

Because I was ashamed. Ashamed of myself, of what he did, and life in general. Maybe I was being extreme, but my life seemed to be based on extremities. Whether it was an immense desire to be with Sonic—which didn't work out— to the life changing relationship I had with he who should not be named—which is _technically_ over, but seems like it's still pending. If anything, I guess it's safe to assume that it was hard for me to let go of things.

_Doi._

I summoned enough will to stare back at Blaze, the intensity, the pleading in her eyes making me regret ever coming here in the first place. I was and still am hurt, and I just dragged these feeling onto her. _Some friend I am. _

"_Amy?_" There it was again. The concern. The pleading. I was done with it.

"I have to go."

"Okay," Blaze sighed, closing her eyes in defeat—an emotion I was too well accustomed to. Because what could she do? I was a closed source, and the reason for my misery was out of sight. But in no way out of mind. Bottom line, I was a terrible friend, and it would be better if I ungraced myself from her saintly presence.

But what more did she want to hear? I still couldn't accept what had happened. I know that I owed her more of an explanation, but I had already told her the three harsh words that have fueled my excessive presence: He left me.

He crossed my heart and now I wanted to die. It was that simple. And if she was really a great friend, she could have found this information by reading in between the lines. But who was I to judge? Who was I to keep staying here? That's right, I was leaving.

"Bye."

"Bye."

And I was gone.

* * *

I didn't know where to go upon my leaving. As I pulled out of the drive way and examined the seemingly endless summer day before me, it couldn't be denied that I lived a pretty limited life.

Now that I think about it, this whole ordeal was triggered by another one that occurred in this very neighborhood, Cardin Falls. And even before _that _incident, what was I doing? I was chasing the blue blur. _God, my life has purpose, _I thought sarcastically as I pulled to the intersection. It's a miracle that any one still talks to me.

But maybe they were just being nice. But nice didn't mean good. They were just being two-faced. Just like _him._

Enough of this. I didn't want to think anymore._ Just drive and pretend that you are as optimistic as the sun shining above you._

But that was the tragic part of it all. Maybe I didn't care that much about him being gone—even though I did. Maybe it was how everything around me seemed unaffected, aside from Blaze's reasonable concern for me. It just seemed like I was forced to lament alone while the sun was swimming delightfully in its sky pool. It was summer, and Mother Nature and its subjects were at peace. So why couldn't I be?

Even the rays of sun extending through my windshield burned me instead of warming my frozen spirits. I groaned lightly, my eyes squinting in an effort to pay attention to the road. It's not really like I wanted to die right now due to carelessness. I don't know, it just—how dare the universe be at ease now! Happy, as if_ nothing _happened.

While I _felt _like_ nothing_. Every excruciating day.

I stopped slowly at another intersection, watching children, people, and those dreaded _couples _scurry over the cross walk. Brightly. Attitudes ascended like the golden sun.

I exhaled, staring at my car's gray ceiling. It was almost as if they were mocking me.

"_Ha ha! Look what we have that don't, Amy! Why don't you just kill yourself since no one will ever love you? And don't worry, we won't come to your funeral because we'll be too busy getting married! Yay couples!"_

Okay,_ okay_, a bit over board, but _still_. What the hell was wrong with my life?

I wanted simple things and the damn light couldn't even turn green!

_Green. _In an eternity's time the traffic light finally flickered the color that I was now forced to feel troubled by._ Him. _

I honked my horn as more people crossed over—regardless of the much anticipated light change. Some cringed their faces in repulse. Damn, pedestrians. They were clearly taking advantage of the situation. And I was so_ sick_ of being taken advantage of.

I wanted to storm ahead, but that would only confirm that Scour—don't say it—made me a homicidal wreck. The innocent cross walkers didn't deserve any of my mechanical wrath. No. I'll just let them be happy. I'll suffer as always.

With the depressing low this day started off at, traffic somehow got a little better and I drove into my apartment complex, Mable Place. But returning did nothing for me.

_He left me. _

I was supposed to forget it with the option of forgiving, move on, and be grateful that I wasn't tied down to such a...I don't even know how to describe him. He said he was evil, but self-conformation of unruly traits usually meant that it wasn't true. Like people who say that they are crazy tend not to be. But this whole situation couldn't be that simple.

Maybe I overreacted to the message. But he didn't leave me with anything. No answers. How could I recover when I didn't know the extent of the damage? Was anything even broken in the first place?

But I felt broken. I stumbled into my apartment, refusing to think anymore. I would be numb. It would hurt less.

Yes, numbness was an appropriate setting. I didn't want to go back to a time before him, and I didn't want to go to where I was now—the aftermath.

But who knew? Our relationship was rushed, and to some extent, hectic.

Perhaps we weren't meant to...

I shook my head, mad that I had broken my mental non-thinking policy. I countered this by laying in the soft, reassuring plush of my terra cotta sheets. I curled into a fetal position. So weak. So pathetic.

No wonder he left me.

Rolling over, I studied the white ceiling. _Just sleep._ Sure it was still mid afternoon, but what else did I have to do? I was too bummed to study for law school in the fall, and if it wasn't obvious already, if I didn't have a man in my life, I felt worthless. So sleep it was. At least until the nightmares returned.

And they always did.

Huh, well I guess I lied. They didn't come. But as the universe would have it, I still didn't feel any better. Just more numb than usual.

But as I said earlier, it was a welcomed change to spontaneous sobbing. I turned my head over to my emerald colored alarm clock, it was six p.m. So with me dozing the day away, I suppose I was sleeping beauty. Only I woke up from my slumber wretched and prince-less.

Epic fairy fail.

But the whole thing was surreal. It was Thursday, and about the same that I went to Merriment Plaza after the whole Sonic ordeal six weeks ago. I scoffed. That seemed like child's play now. If I knew what was ahead after seeing Sonic and Sally do the vertical tango, I would have basked in the depressing glow and stayed home. I would have avoided this. And _this_ was like having a door slammed in your face—and being hit by it in the process.

And worst of all, I kept feeling like_ I _asked for all of this misfortune.

I mean, I let him in. _I_ left him have me, _I_ let him do what he wanted..._I let him_. Who was I suppose to blame when I knew the rules of the game and just ignored them anyway? Now that I had lost, didn't Ideserve it? Didn't I deserve to be alone? Again?

And I _hated_ being alone. Again. Why would I be so desperate for love all the time if I enjoyed my solitude?

And maybe going out—granted I could feel that today felt similar to the one six weeks ago that led to my emotional turmoil—would undo the curse that was set on me that unfortunate night. I needed some merriment, and it just so happened to be in a plaza.

* * *

McAlister's Tavern.

So this was the place that led to all of this. Him. I looked around with my new, hardened, devastated eyes. But secretly, I wanted it to feel the same as before, when my delusion with him made me happy. But of course, everything that one would expect was still the same. Except my life.

The ambiance, which gave a sultry, mysterious feel to the bar—was unchanged. There were couples mingling away, and toward the doors that led to the back kitchen, I could see that cheetah waitress, _and _hear her bubble gum snap obnoxiously in her mouth from across the tavern. I sighed. _Yup, some things never change..._

Just like that, her teal eyes sharply darted against mine, as a knowing smirk crept on her face. I suppose news travels fast. Or maybe the absence of men around me (You remember Shadow. _Him_)probably made her feel like she could push me around. Classic bully. But then again—I had faced far tougher foes than a bitch's cattiness. _Bring it on. _

"Hey, princess," she started off coyly, her eyes lighting up in a bouncy amusement. She nudged toward me, from across the bar, causing some restless customers to stare at our direction. "What? Out of men already?" _Good one. _

I scoffed, before turning in the other direction, hearing her laugh echo behind me. Damn it, I was a bit angry at myself for not being able to muster up an insult, but even if I did, I was in no position to get into an altercation with her. For all I know, with all of my mental turmoil, I might be homicidal. And she didn't deserve to be my first victim.

As I marched over to the bar stools, I rolled my eyes. Karma's a bitch. Her time would come soon.

But speaking of karma, what the hell had_ I _done wrong? I'd like to believe that I was a good person. No where near the best—but genuinely good, right? I heaved out a sigh, contemplating this. _This_ was getting annoying. Even with my fling it's like my life hadn't progressed at all. I was back to a less desperate, but ultimately more _depress_ing square one. The only difference was that I didn't use to have nightmares religiously...

_Just __wake up__..._

"Amy." For the second time today my name was being called. I was hesitant to answer at first, because it seemed like everyone who wanted—or seemed to be obligated—to talk to me greeted me with the sound of concern on their voice.

"Amy." A voice, smooth and aged like the wine I shouldn't be tempted to order to drown in my despair, called out again. And contrary to the last time, I responded to it.

"Yes, Phil." Just as I had feared. There was no way he'd give me beer. Not with the way I've been wandering in and out of here like a tragic wreck. When the possum slid over a frothy glass filled with a caramel colored liquid, a single sip confirmed my suspicions. _Ginger Ale. _

I exhaled lightly, allowing my sullen gaze to meet his. So much for alcoholic relief.

"Hi," I forced out, almost in a hush. He studied me further with his brows shrugging up in worried contempt. Um...Yeah. His advice sort of backfired. If he hadn't insisted that I accepted a ride home with _him..._

Maybe I'd be happier.

But I was having a hard time telling what happiness even was.

However, Phil hadn't forced me to do anything. He didn't force me to fall in love with _him._ Thus, confirming that everything that happened to sorry-little-me was completely my fault.

But it was time to cool it with these destructive thoughts. At least for the moment.

"You have to let 'em go. I'm sorry, but I don't think you have any other option, girlie," Phil said out of nowhere.

Although a bit unexpected, his advice wasn't uncalled for. I didn't need him to coax the truth. But sometimes the truth didn't always matter.

I took another sip from the cold ale, cooling my rambunctious mind. "I already have."

He shook his head, heaving out a sigh. "Don't lie to yourself, Amy." He then gave me a look of genuine concern. He was quickly becoming another Blaze in my life. "I don't know how much I can take of you not bein' yourself."

I scoffed slightly, a crude smile taking over my face as I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't mean to come off rude, but it was that _word_ he used. Yourself. Just when was I ever me?

Either I was ignorantly obsessing over someone or having my heart broken.

_I _barely knew me.

"I'll try," I simply offered, because that was all I had for him to get off my back. What else could I say? I was hoping time would heal my wounds and as of right now they were still fresh. I just wish everyone else could see that and get off my case. I wasn't a damsel, even if I was distressed.

With a considerate nod from Phil, I decided that I had appeased him for now. Good. Now if only I could please myself. As if reading my mind, my older friend seemed to brighten, and I knew what that meant. Or rather, what he would say.

"I still have that son..." he began to taunt, with a matchmaker optimism on his voice. I released a tiny smile.

"I know..." I said, rising from the counter and placing a tip. _Please,_ I didn't have the heart to be rejected again. Even with a grin on my face, I couldn't help but frown internally. He was acting like his son was the exception to all males. As if this 'sacred son' couldn't wrong me like the others had.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciated this talk. But never would a happy man understand a lonely woman.

"Thanks," I replied, accepting his not-so-helpful advice. He nodded lightly, and the look on his face was eager for me to return back to that girl I was six weeks ago. But time—no matter how small—had a way of changing people. And I didn't want to be the same. Walking out of the establishment, I heard a clatter of glass from behind me, and a familiar female voice shrieking out vulgarities. I said it.

_Karma. _

* * *

Clenching my keys, I readied myself for my next destination. Anywhere but here. I drove out of the lot, becoming part of the flow of the evening traffic.

I relaxed at the sight of the sun transitioning into its lunar state. It mean that the day would soon be over. And maybe tomorrow wouldn't be as depressing.

After all, I _am_ an optimistic.

Driving around in circles seemed like a tedious waste of gas. Before I could focus on where I was going, however, I was here. Approaching the road to his house. I blinked a few times, a bit shocked that my sad instinct had led me to the house of unresolved feelings.

_Turn back home right now! _I could feel every reasonable, dignified part of me screeching, pleading for me to go back to where I came from. But I couldn't help it—at least my body couldn't. It was a battle of brain and brawn.

But I was already here. Who was I to turn back? Even if he did.

I exhaled, nodding in confirmation. I had to do this. And even if this act was just another instance of me unfolding yet another diabolical plot to make myself miserable—well, _more _miserable—so be it. I hadn't been here since the day he left and I was finding that ignorance wouldn't produce bliss in this situation.

I didn't know what I expected to find, maybe just some indication of his humility to soothe my burning soul.

I pushed the car door open, leaving my doubt. I slowly walked along the pavement of his home, studying the emerging infestation of weeds beginning to crack through the drive way, and an accumulation of mail raining against the front door and falling out of an unattended, over-stuffed black mailbox.

I sighed. Did I expect for him to secretly return? So that we could what—join lips and get back together as if we're from the ignorant, forgiving town of la-la land?

But it didn't matter. He wasn't here, and I had wasted my time. Again.

And maybe it was the little optimism I had that was making me feel so_ stuck_. There just had to be more to this story. And maybe I didn't even need a happy ending. Just a conclusion.

Examining the green entrance, I jiggled the doorknob before taking a sigh. Closed.

And that was the premature end to our tale.

Turning away, I walked off to my tainted origins, feeling far worse than I had previously. I don't know why he left, whether for her or in the disinterest of me, but one fact was for sure—and it had been all along.

He didn't want me.

My eyes were burning with tears as I started the engine. Starting towards home, I knew that my last feelings of hope had diminished today.

Now if only I could just_ die _in my sleep.

* * *

_But I woke up anyway. _

_And I was at that green entryway. _

_Temptation struck me like the pathetic wench I was. I bit down hard on my lower lip, resisting the urge. The urge to be open to the closed door of our convoluted romance. _

_But a wiggle of the knob couldn't hurt, could it? I could just confirm once more that he wasn't here. I rolled my eyes, realizing the idiocy in that statement. I was just here. And what was a better way of saying "Screw you, and I'm never coming back!" then leaving into the unknown with no promise whatsoever of ever coming back? Yeah, that's love._

_That's_ _what a _boyfriend_ does._

_I stared straight ahead, assessing my options. There weren't many—unless it was possible to find what wasn't asking to be found. So I was leaving. I had to be leaving._

_But then there was a shadow in the window. I blinked rapidly, hoping—desperate—for this not to be some refraction of light from the passing cars or me finally reaching the highest brink of hopeless insanity._

_But then there was sound. Shuffling. There was shuffling! Of the shoes, two feet—movement! Something was alive in there. And with life there was hope. _

_Lights flickered on, illuminating his form. With light there was life. I held my breath, waiting for the shuffling to continue toward my direction. But it stopped. Movement stopped, and I was getting anxious. I knocked ferociously on the door, a bit worried that I would scare him (or knock down his door...) but it would be payback for him scaring me by leaving so suddenly. _

_But as long as the two of us were together..._

_We'd be even._

_When the door finally opened and I saw him...You know that thing I said about not knowing what happiness really was earlier? It was this._

"_Scourge," I said in a ecstatic hush, my voice too dry with joy to speak._

"_Long time no see, Rosie," he replied softly, his celeste eyes live with that usual sly triumph that I simply adored. He sighed though, as his gaze hardened on me. "Look, I'm s—"_

_My lips met his. I didn't want to hear it. No explanations. I just wanted him. _

_I curled my arms around his neck, taking him in as we kissed tenderly, soothing my broken heart. He came in deeper, his tongue entangling mine, scrambling my brain into the pieces of me that were reuniting with him to make us._

"_Don't ever leave me again," I pleaded after we released, still clutching onto him. I was shivering with both excitement and desperation as I breathed him in, reassuring myself that this was real. That he was real._

_Closing my eyes, I let myself melt in the embrace as we held strong, our heartbeats syncopated in a lovers time._

"_Rosie..." he merely said as we parted. He trailed a stray hand along my jawline affectionately. "...I can assure you that's never going to happen..."_

_He locked lips onto mine, pulling me into a deeper kiss. When my eyes opened to see his, there was a odd look in his face, as if he were displeased with our exchange. I cocked my head slightly to side, studying the sudden shift in the atmosphere. _

_He sighed almost passively. "...Because you're leaving me." _

_I blinked rapidly, my mouth opening simultaneously as a reflex of confusion. "W-what?"_

"_Sorry, Rosie," he said with a shrug, as a devilish smirk. I shook my head._

"_I don't understand..." My heart was hot as lava, my stomach churned with the hot liquid beginning to burn out of my eyes. Was this some kind of sick joke? _

"_This isn't funny," I spoke out, unable to hide my distaste in his inappropriate humor—or whatever this was. _

"_It is to me."He snickered loudly, his howling breaking through the still night air until darkened eyes locked onto mine. I frowned back._

"_Scourge-" There was a push. And suddenly all I knew was falling. The ground eroded beneath my feet, descending toward a black oblivion. And soon I would be part of it._

"_SCOURGE!" I called back, stumbling through the air. He shook his head with a scoff, turning away. Walking away from me. In the window I could see his form being joined by another._

_My stomach dropped and I couldn't breathe. Air was rushing fast around me and I couldn't grab onto it. The only source of light—his house, appeared hundreds of feet above me. Then it faded, and absolute blackness became my scenery. As I fell, my brain exploded. My eyes were useless in the blinding opaqueness of darkness. I was falling._

_Falling._

_Falling._

_All I've ever known was—_

"Falling into summer, remember that the days are getting hotter and longer. Don't forget sunscreen!"

My eyes widened to take in my surroundings. The shrill voiced anchorwoman in the TV was an alarming blessing in disguise. The mattress below me comfortably assured me that I was not falling to my death. Or oblivion.

But in some ways I preferred it. If I was descending to my doom, then that would have been the end. Because where there is life—however pathetic my life was, I would always have hope.

And I would always be disappointed.

I rose up, rubbing my eyes clear of a lack of restful slumber and my tears. I sighed. There were always tears. And this wasn't even one of the _bad _nightmares.

I sighed, heading out of my apartment—already knowing how the rest of the night would pan out. And I was tired of this repetitiveness. But it would only cease if there was actually some promise to moving on.

And all the promises in my life had been broken.

* * *

I walked toward the light—artificial, but sufficient in the midnight air. Blaze yawned slightly, still managing to appear poised. Clenching my overnight bag, I walked through, suppressing my shame. But it was hard. I was the best example of misfortune.

She studied me with tired eyes that still managed to be alert with concern. Well someone had to be.

"Nightmares?"

"Nightmares."

* * *

Hoped you all liked it. Remember to review. It inspires me to upload faster. :)

~Kosma B


	2. This is What Makes Us Girls

So I made a little rule for myself.

Once I finish writing a chapter, another one goes up here. Just finished chapter nine, which means that I'm almost done. Like 65%.

It's a good, almost fulfilling feeling.

I hope you enjoy this one. Again, I apologize for any grammar errors that might have slipped through. I still have a life you know. :P

**Disclaimer:** DO NOT OWN SEGA. OR THEIR CHARACTERS. GOSH.

Read on. :)

* * *

Chapter 2: This Is What Makes Us Girls

Tension.

It was in the air the moment I opened tired eyes that should have remained closed. I groaned as I rose, disgusted that I had resorted to coming here again.

I know that I had been taken advantage of. There wasn't a day that went by where I wasn't reminded of this—of how stupid I was. But ironically enough, it seemed like I was taking advantage of Blaze. But we had gone over this already. I was manipulating her friendly hospitality and pulling her down with me in a self-depreciating spiral. I was a lonely emotional wreck that apparently needed company.

And a physical wreck at that. I shook off my nausea that accompanied my ill mind. Here I was, all affected by my own stupidity. _Just when I swore that I wouldn't insult myself today... _

I walked toward the connecting bathroom, studying my stupid self in the mirror. I had to face it. Reality. As everyone around me was changing, taking the world by storm, I was always caught in it. I had the same haircut from my youth, and even with all of my torment, my eyes were still green and bright—glimmering with the hope that things would get better.

But I knew better.

I splashed some water on my face, removing some of the sadness that had crusted on it from the previous night. Unsurprisingly, it still remained—the sadness I mean. And it didn't seem possible for me to feel so empty, yet so filled with despair.

I cleaned myself dry with a tan face towel, glancing back at my face in the mirror again. It was a face that just couldn't get over this. I angrily threw the cloth in the hamper. When the hell was this going to end?

The heartbreak. The false illusions. Maybe I was desperate, maybe I was unbearable, but at least I always let my feelings be known. But everyone else? Perhaps it was their soul-mates blocking the light of reality that I had been burned by for a second time.

But I was sick of this. The emotional turmoil, and my mental questioning that always produced no probable answers. I just had to get on with my life and hope that for two seconds the world would make sense.

There I was, _hoping_ again.

I scoffed before carrying out my morning business. Walking back into the bedroom, I strapped my overnight bag over my shoulder for another uncountable time and opened the door.

Heading out into the hallway, I took note of the off-gray walls and the put-together nature of Blaze's home. I sighed. Well, one of us had to be the rock. Or at least the sensible one.

I trotted down the dark oak stairs, careful not to fall over and kill myself. Like that would be the worst thing. I'm pretty sure that everyone didn't care. They had lives. And I was the living dead.

I pursed my lips together, a bit irritated by the vacant space of downstairs. Thought they'd get rid of me by not being here? Well they were right.

I reached out for the garage door and sighed. "Okay Blaze, I'm leaving." No response. Well, I guess they were playing the ignore-me-out game. I have to admit, I did feel a bit insulted for some reason, but maybe it was better this way. I wouldn't have to see Blaze's ember eyes burning that type of worried flame I was growing to hate every day. Appropriate yes, but annoying. But I suppose I was annoying too.

And I was leaving.

I ventured into the outdoors and was accompanied by the sun smiling shamelessly at me as it always did. I snarled, _why don't you just suck it, you bitch-_

"Hello Amy." My eyes came back to earth. I forced a smile in my feline friend's direction.

"Thanks for having me—I was just leaving," I also forced out. I made up my mind that I didn't want to see her. I was supposed to sneak out swiftly—like a cat, ironically—and get on with my life—er, not _my life_, because I didn't have one, remember, but _something_.

Something that didn't include Blaze standing in front of me. With those _eyes_. And now that she knew my truth, it was hard to lie to her. And it wasn't lying if I didn't tell her the full truth, right?

"Wait a second," Blaze said, setting a paper bag filled with groceries on the garage floor. Straightening out her white blouse, it was a relief to see her eyes lighten. "How about we go out with the other girls?"

_Uh, no?_ I wanted to reply. Seriously, was _I _the only one who remembered what happened the last time we 'hung out'? Try a divine intervention for my sake. But something told me that she did, and I didn't want to bring it up. Still, I didn't want to go.

"Isn't it kind of early?" I offered instead. Blaze shook her head, a smug smile settling on her lips.

"No, actually its four-"

"Four in the afternoon?!" I spat out, my eyes widened to capture Blaze as she nodded slowly.

_What the?_ I thought I was too burdened with nightmares to sleep. But now that I thought about it, they're somehow more bearable in her house. I suppose my body decided to soak up as much sleep as it could. After all, it's not like I had anywhere important to go. Unless you counted sulking around in my unaccompanied misery.

"Yes, why do you think no one's in the house?" Blaze replied, folding her arms with a laugh. I couldn't deny a slight scoff in the other direction.

"Because you got sick of me?" I mumbled, returning a lidded glance toward her.

"What?" Blaze said, recovering from her little laugh attack. I wrinkled my nose.

"Nothing," I said, sucking in the hostility I foolishly released into the air. I forced another fake smile to please her (It seemed like I was doing a lot of that these days, _pleasing_ people). "Well, I guess I really can't say no can I?"

"Nope." _Dang it._ "But you _can_ help me put these groceries away so we can leave," she said, pointing to her silver SUV. She picked up the paper bag she had set down earlier, heading for the house.

I gave a passive nod and walked toward the car. Grabbing a bag, it dawned on me that I could have asked where we would be going, but then again, I was a directionless being. And knowing where really wouldn't change my feelings.

Not that I had any.

* * *

Sipping awkwardly from a nonalcoholic beverage, I tried not to be in a bad mood.

But it was hard. I mean, what the hell? I wasn't a teenager like Cream; I could have a beer if I damn well pleased! But I let the collective concern of the table guide me into _not_ choosing something that would imply that in addition to my depression, I was also a budding alcoholic. And I wasn't. But the way that Rouge downed her second cosmopolitan martini, and yet all the concern was weighed on _my_ side of the table was irritating. Just irritating.

We were in one of those trendy restaurants, though its name escaped me and I didn't care enough to seek it. I played with the transparent straw of the fruit punch Blaze had politely ordered for me. Bored. I was bored of her overbearing Mommy presence, bored of Rouge who was now on her third martini, somehow soberly discussing wedding arrangements with her saintly maid of honor, Sally. And I was bored of Cream _still _texting Tails on her phone.

_Some girls' night out._ I could have had more fun on my own. Even if my alone time usually consisted of me hitting my head against the wall or screaming and crying myself awake to the nightmares that Scourge always starred in. And yes, I had graduated to saying his name now.

I tapped my fingers against the black table top. Though it wasn't an effort for them to pay attention to me. I mean, I know that I didn't really have anything else to do, but that didn't mean that I wanted to waste my miserable life here. And to top it all off, the waiter hadn't even taken our orders...

"Having fun, Amy?" Blaze asked with a genuine smile. I perked up, raising my dissatisfying fruit punch in the air, trying my best to look triumphant.

"You betcha," I said, taking a sip from the distasteful glass. With my fake brightness, the universe responded positively as the waiter finally came.

"Ready to order?" the male, ferret waiter asked, handing another martini to Rouge. "Here you go, Miss."

"Thanks, handsome..." the engaged bat replied, slurring slightly as Sally laughed.

"Maybe you should slow down, Rouge," Sally then cautioned playfully.

"Nonsense. You only live once. YOLO!" Rouge cheered, as the rest of the table and some surrounding restaurant goers laughed with her.

I rolled my eyes. _Yolo? _Yeah, that's I thought before I _died_ in the inside...

We placed our orders even though, now that I think about it, I wasn't really hungry, and I just wanted to leave. Love was poison in the air, and I was trying not to breathe it in.

So I sat in silence. As the restaurant bustled in the Friday night rush, and Rouge and Sally talked matrimony. As Cream talked via text to Tails. Blaze mirrored me in temperament, probably because I, her go-to friend, was not very responsive.

And I was still bored.

Just then, above all the noise, I heard a _ping_ from a phone and Cream laugh. I don't know what happened, but that was it. That. Was. _It._

"Can you _stop_ texting Tails for two seconds?! Just two?!" I yelled at the rabbit girl before me. Her eyes met mine, as she pouted her lips in an angry frown.

"Sheesh! What's _your_ problem, Amy?!" she spat back, although not as aggressively as I would have predicted. I rose my brows. Sure, my random outburst was uncalled for, but what the hell was I doing here if I was just going to be subjected to her mindless, inconsiderate banter?

"You are!" I said, before realizing the shallowness in my hard words. This was bigger than her. I rose my hand up in her direction, softening my voice. Somewhat. "And do you know what? It would be flattery to say it's just you. Mrs. Knuckles over there and her wedding wench are to blame too!"

Rouge spat her third martini through the air.

"Amy!" Blaze yelled in the bat's place. I shrugged my shoulders, refusing to back down.

"It's true! God, why would you bring me here if all of you were just going to ignore me?" I questioned her, my eyes skimming across the other girls. "After everything?"

"Look, Amy we can't be all_ sad_ and all '_woe is me'_ just because_ you_ feel that way," Rouge said this time. "I'm getting married and I don't think you've ever congratulated me once! Instead we're always attending the pity Amy party-"

"I never asked for your pity!" I snapped. "I never asked for _any_ of yours!" This was stupid. And I was a bigger idiot for agreeing to come here.

"Maybe not," Sally considered. "But Rouge is right. You didn't even tell us about your relationship with Scourge and we're confused with how to go about things." Her seemingly reasonable eyes met mine in the midst of the chaos I had created.

"You were mad at us when we were talking about relationships when you were in one, and now you don't like that we are simply talking about wedding arrangements? It sort of seems like we can never please you."

I sighed, sliding down in the plushy booth like the upset child I clearly was. I mean, look what I had caused. The tables around us were getting dinner _and_ a show...

"Okay people, there's nothing to see here!" Rouge said, shunning away the public attention. "I mean, I know I look_ amazing_ but I'm taken," she assured our diminishing audience by flashing her engagement ring.

_Oh Rouge..._

I exhaled any leftover tension and rose up. "Fine, I guess you're right," I started off, a bit annoyed but genuinely sorry about my explosive behavior. "I didn't tell you guys much because it was just a fling and now he's gone and I feel alone all over again..."

It was hard to admit this to them. Let alone myself.

"And we understand that," Blaze assured me this time. "But sulking around by yourself isn't going to make you feel better. That's why we want you here."

"We're really sorry if we made it seem like we didn't," Sally added, with Rouge nodding next to her.

"You know we love you, girl!" Rouge said, making me crack a smile.

All it took was a giggle to ruin the mood. Cream was still texting on her phone. No wonder she had been so silent through this whole thing.._._

"_Really?_ So you can't stop? Are you_ that _obsessed?" I confronted her, admittedly less angry than I was before. But I still felt insulted. "Seriously, what is _wrong_ with you? And can I make the world better by removing you from it?"

_OH._

_BURN._

Maybe I was taking things too far. I could see it in the pleading look Blaze had in her eyes for me to stop. But I couldn't help it. I was an unstable, emotional wreck, remember?

And besides. How could Cream go back to doing the very thing that made me angry in the first place? Sure, I may have been out of bounds by _being_ angry that a teenage girl was harmlessly texting her boyfriend, but I was hurt. And she should have respected that.

After _finally _setting the phone down, Cream's russet eyes met mine. Her lips quivered in an upset disgust before she found words. "Why are you being so mean!"

I scoffed. "Why are you yelling so loud? We're in a restaurant for God's sake." I contended, out of context. Yes, I was being a hypocrite, but she was being inconsiderate. She didn't even know _why_ I was mad!

She spun her head around to see that our elevated tones had brought in some considerate buzz from the same tables watching us earlier. Her ears fell slightly, but the look of emotional arousal still remained strong on her face.

"I don't know what's happened to you Amy," she said harshly, fighting off the urge to cry probably. _The wimp. _"Why don't you do everyone a favor and get back to normal, okay? Just because you decided to whore around with Scourge-"

"_Whore around?!_" I shot out, rising from my chair. With her unnatural fixation on Tails, you could practically call her a harlot too! I released another scoff, shaking my head. "Unbelievable! So is that the bull shit Blaze has been feeding you?"

"Stop this," Blaze commanded, her eyes burning with anger. "I will not have you insulting me in my presence."

"How much did you tell them then?" I fought back, ignoring her remark.

"All that you told me..." she replied with an annoyed sigh, and I tried not to flinch in her act of betrayal. _Some friend_. "...Which is practically nothing."

"So is that what you all think? That I'm a little whore?"

"No one is saying that," Sally said this time. I delayed a flout. Were they completely oblivious to everything the teen wonder said?

"_Yeah_," Rouge agreed with her. "I'm sick of your bad attitude. I thought we were done with all this arguing-"

"Why don't you just shove another martini down your throat?!"

"What?!" Rouge stood up, staring me down with furious cyan eyes. Good. Two could play that game.

I rose up from the booth, my gaze unflinching. "You heard what I said. _Bat girl._"

"_No one _calls me that!"

"Well _I _did! What are you gonna do about it?!"

"_Ugh!"_

A cat fight would have ensued. That is, if we weren't stopped _by _a cat.

"Just STOP it!" Blaze shouted, using her arms as walls to block us from each other. But I didn't care. I was going to kick Rouge's ass!

"Move over, Blaze!" I said, shoving pass her. That is, until I saw fire seep from her hands. Fire. My better instincts told me to back away. I looked at her. Eyes that were once a subtle ember were burning with red fury. She then glared at me. I turned away.

"Sit. Your. Ass. Down. Both of you!" Now we were sitting down.

"God, what has gotten into you?" Blaze asked, with a strong level on disgust in her voice. I stared down at the table top, refusing to respond. But Rouge, who apparently felt no shame, decided to in my absence.

"I'm sorry for acting like that. I just want to know why Amy is jumping on all of us," she said, as if she were completely innocent in the matter. She flickered her her fingers in the air, giving me a snide look.

"It's because I'm a _whore_, remember?" And after everything, I wasn't hungry either. I rose from the table. "And I'm _leaving_."

I had given the people their show. It was time for my curtain call.

"But you can't leave. I drove us here," Blaze, the voice of unwanted reason, called after me.

"Don't care." It was dark, and I didn't know where we were, but even if I had to play hitchhiker and possibly fall victim to a serial killer, God knows that it would be a welcomed possibility to all of this.

"But-"

"I've got your orders!" The waiter finally came out, with an array of meals. I glanced back to some pleading and some miffed off eyes, but that still didn't change anything. I still didn't care.

"Save it, _bon appetit_."

And I left.

* * *

Maybe I was doing a lot of that lately. Leaving, I mean. But hey, I was only following the terrible example set by all the men in my life. And like it or not, I was very impressionable.

In the dark air of a June night, it also occurred to me that I had really crappy friends. By now I had ventured beyond the parking lot, walking in a blind direction I presumed would take me home. They didn't even come out to make sure I was okay.

Then again, it was a decided that I was a whore. And isn't this what they did? Trot around secluded sidewalks at night, waiting to be bought, or something? But in many cases they were better than me, at least they had a purpose. Even if it was a sleazy immoral one.

I didn't want to kill myself. But what good was my life? My friends had turned on me, and I had been left by someone I had let manipulate me. And a violent growl erupting from my stomach assured me that I was in fact hungry. Yup.

Life was _super_.

I stopped for a moment, taking in my lack of surroundings. To my left were the woods and to my right was traffic. Cars passed swiftly in both directions, but it was getting harder to see them, as they became fuzzy. I blinked my eyes in an effort to stabilize my vision but it was no avail. Another furious grumble hit me in the abdomen and I fell to my knees with a groan.

"_Uhh..." _Were bad decisions beginning to manifest in the form of my physical pain? A third rumble had me lying on the cement ground, like the vermin I was. My eyes opened to see the world around me—the lights, the trees dancing in the gentle summer wind—sloshing and merging together. It was a headache to look at. So I closed my eyes. Maybe this was the end.

And I could finally have peace.

* * *

And this is where she dies. Or does she live on?

You know the answer.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Now review. It's the elixir of life that keeps me writing!

~Kosma B


	3. Leave My Body

Yo.

Back for the third chapter, babes. It's a short one, but the first one with a mild-cliffhanger. And you know how much I love them.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anyway, read on. My apologizes for any typos.

*Broadway voice* I HAVE A LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!

**Disclaimer:** Look, SEGA. I'm getting a little sick of this. No, I don't own any of your characters. When did I say I did?

* * *

Chapter 3: Leave My Body

Of course I was rescued.

I could feel it in my bones before I opened my eyes. And I was here again. Unsurprising. The physical pain wasn't completely gone, but I could feel the mental kind joining it. I pressed a cold hand to my head trying not to bash myself with an array of 'I told you so's'.

Like, 'I told you not to walk off into the dark, dumb-ass' or 'I told you to eat something' or 'I told you to _just _get over him.' But no, I wasn't going to go there.

I had Blaze for that.

Speaking of her, I was somewhat surprised _not_ to see her at my bedside, lighting up the moment she saw me reanimate into the hopeless creature I was. But I didn't need me to worry about me like I was her child. Because I wasn't. And in all honestly, I would have been fine dying on a side walk in the middle of nowhere, thank you very much.

As I peered out the window to see yet another sunny sky laughing at me, I rose up slowly from the mattress, not sure what to do with myself. I just knew that I wasn't going to stay here anymore. Not under this destructive temperament.

I walked down the hall, hoping I was alone so I could slip out. I was still dressed from last night, and maybe if I could sneak out—just like I had the very intent to yesterday—I could avoid anything like yesterday from ever happening. So I adjusted my footing. It was tippy-toes from here on out.

Slyly, but slowly, I finally made it to the end of the hallway. I took a sigh of relief, perhaps congratulating myself too soon. Because then I heard it.

A moan. A groan. A hush. They were up here.

I was practically home free. They were doing it. I could slip out easily. After all, it wouldn't be the first time I fled when people were busy in the bedroom. I rolled my eyes, _God, get a new pastime, Amy. _

And I hated Scourge for making me think I had one.

But I was getting off topic. Where was I? Leaving. Yes, that's right; I was going someplace that wasn't here. But then there were words. And I was listening.

"Silver..." I could hear Blaze say, almost begging. "We _can't_..." By now my ear was pressed to the door.

"Blaze, _c'mon_." Huh, I almost forgot that Silver existed. But from the tone in his voice, he seemed to be begging too. Apparently they _weren't _doing it. I bit my lip, wondering if I should just leave now. But a simple question dawned on me. Was my presence to blame?

I know. It's stupid for me to even care. But I was staring at the dark-wood door as if I had some tie to what lay beneath. And I did.

Another moan was picked up by my ears. "_Ah_...That's nice..." Then an inaudible shaking of the head. "But no...Silver, I have to..." Muffled kisses became silent's companion. "_Mmm_... I need to go check on Amy..." Just like that, the clock struck twelve and the lovers spell was broken.

I then heard rustling in the sheets and feet skimming the floor. I know I should have been retreating back into the guest room, or better yet, the rock that I had crawled from, but something compelled me to stay. Most likely my unreasonable stupidity, daring me to be found. Especially since I felt like a lost soul.

"Wait, Blaze," Silver called after her, probably grabbing her arm in an effort to draw his mate back to him. I heard a sigh.

"I apologize Silver, but it will only take a moment-"

"_No._" I gulped, scared of what he would say next. Hostility was in the air. And I knew I was responsible for it.

"Silver..."

"Look, I'm trying to understand. I _really_ am. I mean, I respect that you're trying to be a good friend, but I'm not going to hold my tongue anymore." There was a pause. I held my breath. "I think this whole thing is getting out of hand."

Sincere eyes met his. "What am I supposed to do then?_ Hmm?_ Ignore my best friend in her time of need?"

"I didn't expect her to be like this!" he argued back, their voices rising steadily from a loud whisper to hushed, furious yelling. "Insulting the others in public? Passing out on the _sidewalk_?"

"No one said it would be easy. _God_, Silver what kind of message does it send if I turn my back on her!? All because you're _sick _of her? My_ best_ friend? "

"Can't you see that Amy isn't worthy of that title? She's a _terrible_ friend! Look around. Do you even know _why_ she's here? Because if you do, at least that would make _one_ of us."

I clenched my bag. Only behind closed doors could I see the destruction I was causing. Silver's words rang violently in my head. _She's a terrible friend. _And the worst part was that I couldn't even hate Silver for his words. He was right.

"I'm not going to stand around while you insult her! So she hasn't completely come clean, but she's hurt, and as her friend I feel that hurt too. And I _won't_ rest until she's back to normal."

All of Blaze's trepidation, her tenseness, and apprehension...I had convinced myself that concern was her natural temperament, but I had to face it; I was the sole contributor to her uneasy spirits.

And that made me sick.

"Blaze..."

So sick, that I could feel all of the dissatisfaction and disgust in myself churn and rile in my stomach. Oh wait. I smacked my lips. This was vomit.

Slapping a hand over my lips, I ran back into the guest room bathroom. _Don't stain the furniture; it will only give them another reason to hate you more! _I cautioned myself, trying to prevent any accidental spillage. Finally, I made it to my desired destination.

I won't go into specifics, but as I watched the barf swirl into a white, porcelain oblivion, I was surprised that it was possible for me to be even more disgusted with myself.

"Amy." I didn't have to turn around to see Blaze standing above me. I stared at the toilet, taking in the awkward, quiet shawl that now covered over us. I decided to take it off.

"Hi," I said in a rushed hush, trying not to feel shame. I'd feel displeased if someone did this in my toilet. I was hoping she would get over it. But there I was, hoping again. It was a luxury I couldn't no longer dream of affording.

"Good to see you're awake," she replied instead. I found the bright sarcasm in her voice to be unsettling. I wiped the remaining vomit from my lips with the back of my hand.

"Sure about that?" I could feel her shrug behind me and I took that as a sign to rise from my pitifulness. We stood face to face. But I still felt sick.

She brushed a stray strand of hair from her face before her eyes locked on mine. "I don't know if I did the right thing by not taking you to the doctor." She exhaled, letting her eyes trail on the white marble floor. "But when I found you, you were mumbling something about just being hungry and not wanting to go to the doctor.

"Then you dispelled everything you said, saying that you were just tired and wanted to sleep. So I brought you here." She cracked a smile, releasing a breathy laugh the way someone does when they want to offset the impact of an argument. I simply nodded.

"But now I think we might have to revisit that doctor idea," she said. I scrunched my face in contempt.

"Why?" I said, before clenching my stomach.

"You haven't eaten anything, yet you puked."

"So?" I tried to brush off her questioning. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she _was _unnaturally over cautious.

"_So,_ I'm pretty sure you heard what Silver and I were kindly discussing." I scoffed, _how did she know?_ She then pointed to her ears. "Acute cat hearing. Plus, you running down the hall like there was a race in the guestroom surely didn't help. And although I encourage you to ignore Silver's attitude, you and I both know that he is right. You've been in and out of this house for over six weeks and other than the fact that Scourge left you and you are visibly upset about it, you haven't given me any information that I can use to help you."

I blinked a few times, before sighing. She couldn't help me in this situation. I wish she could—that's why I've been here so much—but I was realizing that this was a battle I had to fight on my own. Cliché, but still.

I put on a slight smile. "Thanks, Blaze. But I just need your support."

Blaze nodded, walking closer to me. She placed a hand against her heart. "And you'll always have it. But you...puking in the morning like this has me worried..."

My eyes narrowed to study her closely. _What was she getting at? _"About what?" She exhaled the harsh air around us; the concern in her eyes much too superior for my almost childlike ignorance.

"That you might be pregnant."

I clenched up._ Pregnant? _The idea hadn't crossed me, and I guess it was stupid that I hadn't—but we were careful. End of story. But now that I think back...It was a bit of a haze. I had spent so long being miserable by him leaving that the brief moments we spent together seemed like a distant dream.

"Did you have sex with Scourge?" Blaze brought up, catching me off guard. But it shouldn't have. It was a natural follow up. I just didn't know if I wanted to answer. She must have known; it was one of those things that practically went without saying.

"_Amy." _There was an urgency in her voice, but I couldn't bear to look at her. I wasn't ashamed of what I had done, however. I was ashamed that this was the aftermath. Because unlike the man who was the cause of my undetermined condition, I couldn't run away from what may soon be my reality.

"_Yes." _

Blaze closed her eyes for a moment, processing the new news of an old story I should have told a long time ago. She opened them to meet my gaze, before walking over to one of the white bathroom cabinets. Reaching in, she grabbed a pink box.

"Use this," she said, handing me the container. "This should suffice if or until you have to go to the doctor." She put a hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring smile. But I felt no reassurance. My life was already in shambles. The results of a pregnancy test wouldn't change that.

"I'll be right outside the door for you." She closed it and I was alone again. So nothing changed. Only now I had Pandora's box in my hands.

Again, I'm not going to be specific with the details. I peed on a stick and waited for a line or two to appear. If it dared.

And it did.

* * *

Positive or negative? We will see Amy's journey change. But will it be for the better?

Only time will tell.

Review! And force your friends too as well!

See you soon!

~Kosma


	4. Breathe Me

Hola.

Back again and ready to rumble.

So we left with a cliff-hanger. And now we see what happens.

I'll shut up and let you get to it. I hope you are enjoying it so far, and thank you very much for your reviews. They keep me young.

Random Reviewer: But aren't you only eighteen?

Me: Shouldn't you be reading this chapter? Gosh, stop acting like SEGA.

**Disclaimer:** SEGA knows which characters it owns that I'm using. Thank you for letting me use them, I guess.

Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 4: Breathe Me

I was trying to think positive. But my body was already ahead of me.

I opened the door, holding my shame stick undisguised in the air for the world to see. The universe had spoken, and reality had decided my fate. And boy was it a crappy one. But that should be ancient history by now, shouldn't it?

Blaze examined the test carefully before her apologetic eyes fell on mine. I wanted to fight off her gaze, but something told me that it was best to not lose my only friend. Not that friendship could help me now.

She extended forward, giving me a hug. I held close, trying to feel numbness. I didn't want to let my ugly emotions show in this polite moment. After all, this was the hole I had dug for myself. Who was I to act like I deserved to be air-lifted out of it? I breathed her in—the comforting scent of lavender in the wake of my personal train wreck. Because if it wasn't obvious, I was expecting. And if it wasn't even _more_ obvious, I couldn't be happier.

"You'll get through this," she said, as if it were her battle too. But it wasn't. Because we both knew that I was doomed to suffer alone. With her words, I released our bond with no idea how to respond.

"I'll try." That was all I had.

Her eyes dimmed like my new reality. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Blaze!" There I was,_ trying_ to lose my only friend. Call it a mixture of hormones, the absolute shock—but I didn't need this questioning.

"Calm down, Amy..."

"How?" I asked her, my voice cracking. "_How _am I supposed to calm down?

A sigh and a defeated shrug from her confirmed my worst suspicions. _Exactly. _

I let out a sigh of my own, closing my eyes and seeing a dark nothing. This was my reality now. Maybe this was why I had abstained for so long. It didn't take an idiot to know that sex complicates things. This _thing_ growing inside me was living proof. I placed a hand over my stomach, looking at the mirror to envision the expansion that would occur over the next nine months. _Holy crap._

This was real.

A parasite was growing inside me, feeding off of the life I'm not sure I want to live anymore. I frowned, my eyes staring weakly at the floor below me. I would become a mother with a father nowhere to be seen. I bit down hard on my lower lip, trying not to curse at myself in front of Blaze. I mean, I thought I had heard this story too many times to fall victim to it. _Great, just when I thought I was done falling. _

And I couldn't even be numb about this anymore. There was a baby involved.

"You need to schedule a doctor's appointment," Blaze then said, waking me from my unfortunate trance.

"No. I hate going to the doctor." I knew this was real. But I didn't need a doctor to confirm my sorry truth. I wasn't ignorant, and this wasn't bliss. But the more I thought about this...

The sicker I felt.

"But this isn't about you anymore," Blaze alerted me. I shook my head; it might as well be. I would face the reality of just wanting to be loved, and she and the others would go back to their lovely day to day. Nothing would change.

And as much as I didn't want to bring it back to her or them, their reality would always be bliss. And even when I tried to hide in my ignorance, I was still desperate and pregnant. Did the universe have no shame? But I was in no position to blame. This was all on me.

"Then what are you going to do?" I exhaled. It always went back to this question. I responded with silence.

"You can't ignore it, Amy," Blaze said, a hint of maternal reasoning on her breath. My mouth opened by reflex to reject her words. But she was right. And like usual, I was wrong.

"I know..." I replied, raising my head to meet mother dearest's worried glance. I was always worrying her. I was a terrible friend. But I would make a worse mother. Especially under these circumstances. But that didn't mean that I didn't have opinions. Even if they were pretty grim.

I don't know if it was a change in the look in my eye, or an even harsher air ceasing the atmosphere. In any case, Blaze caught onto me before I could even contemplate it further. I suppose friendship isn't something that two share equally. Blaze could always read me better than myself.

Her eyes widened, landing sharply on mine. "You wouldn't."

I looked away, now considering the possibility. "I could."

I could be selfish like Scourge who left me here with two unsightly options. And who was Blaze to act higher and mightier just because she was?

"Don't dictate what I can do with my body," I fought back. I didn't want tom make her mad, but I didn't want to be pregnant either.

"Don't be defensive," Blaze shot me down, probably aware of me trying to change topic in the worst possible way. She then placed a hand on her hip, reminding me that she was superior. As always. "If I did, you wouldn't be in this situation."

Clenching my hands into fists, I heaved away the tears threatening to spill from my pathetic eyes. Because what good would come from crying? My fate was already sealed. Why rebel?

"Sorry," she apologized, coming closer. I shook my head, extending out a hand to stop her.

"Don't be." I reached over to get my bag, feeling this confrontation come to a bitter, unsatisfying end. "I'm sorry."

Sorry that I had abused her hospitality and hid my relationship from her. I was sorry that I was an awful friend. Nope, she didn't have to be sorry about anything. She had done everything right. I was the sorry excuse.

Pressing my lips together in a straight line, I breathed in the cold silence. Because as much as the two of us could discuss this, as much as Blaze probably wanted to help, and as much as I just wanted to know what happiness _felt_ like for more than a few days, words couldn't make amends here.

And how I felt didn't matter anymore.

I didn't force a smile in an effort to assure her that I was okay. I wasn't okay, and I was sick of playing games. Especially when I never won.

"I just need to be alone to process the news," I said, heading for the door.

"...Okay," Blaze replied reluctantly. But what more could she do? She had opened my eyes, exposed that when I thought life couldn't get crappier, it could in a heartbeat.

"Thanks for everything, Blaze."

"I'll call you later, then." I nodded.

"Goodbye."

* * *

Goodbye to life as I knew it.

Which wasn't much of a life, to be honest. I drove in a harsh silence, confounded by how stupid I really was. My whole existence relied on running after some guy and hoping they would love me. But hope had proven to be useless. And as they went off to live their lives, wherever they were, I was stuck with the ramifications.

In my haze, I contemplated going home. But what good would that provide me? As much as I wanted to be alone in my misery, I was tired of it. And today's news just proved that I would continue to be restless.

Who do I even tell? I had a dirty little secret that would be exposed very soon. I took a turn, remembering that I was still driving. Driving my life in an unknown direction.

That being said, I could keep it to myself until I was forced to come clean. Or I could get rid of it. But misery _did_ love company...

But I don't think a child could mend the contused space in my heart.

I squinted my eyes at the piercing mid-afternoon sun. Bright as always, mocking a miserable me. In the upcoming distance, I could see Merriment Plaza come into view. _Merriment._ I scoffed,_ whatever outcome of this, I would never be happy again. _

As I drove past, I thought of Phil, even Cream in all of her lovely delusion. As much as I didn't want to care, I was mad at them. Mad at Cream for broadcasting how much better her love life was then mine without the slightest bit of consideration of my feelings—and for being right about me being a whore. And a knocked up one at that. Mad at Phil for ever encouraging Scourge to become a part of my life. But there I was, blaming innocent people again.

And I was hungry. I listened to my stomach protest, like a baby would, crying like there was a reason to. Causing _me_ to suffer when there were two who were responsible.

I wasn't going to be doomed to do this alone, damn it! It wasn't fair! And I know what everyone said to that, that life isn't always fair, but I was tired of being life's lab rat. Always tempted with an escape to freedom, only to be utterly _stuck._

I arrived to the place that was the source of my aggression. Sage Ridge.

I opened my car door, forcing myself out, kicking my feet out into the defenseless air. Marching up to his front porch, I didn't have to double take to notice the weeds still growing through the pavement cracks, or the mail that still wasn't collected pooling around the mail box. It didn't matter. I had more pressing matters that needed to be addressed.

Pummeling a fist against the mint green door, when I heard no sign of life, I brought the twin to that fist to join it against the cold, unresponsive entryway.

"Open up!" I screeched, probably coming off as crazy and desperate to the neighbors next door, but I was. I mean, here I was, a damsel in distress, desperate for my back-stabbing prince to return.

"Why did you leave me like this?!" Like I was trash, worthless and defiled by his hands?

I knocked harder, my hands burning in a sensational pain. I numbed it out, stomping my foot at the closed door—_him_—that mocked me in silence.

I swallowed the resentful air around me, my nose flailing as I tried not to break in this harsh stillness. "Is it because of _her? _Are you happy with Fiona?" _Silence. _

"Don't you even care?" _Nothing._

I exhaled deeply, letting my tension die like my heart already had. This was ridiculous—_I_ was ridiculous—banging on closed doors for answers that only he had. And that was what made the whole thing unbearable. I didn't know. I. Did. Not. _Know._

I knew I was pregnant. I knew I was stupid. But other than that, where exactly had I gone wrong? I loved. So did the others. How come I was the only one suffering?

My knocking ceased, as I allowed my back to slide against the sealed door, until I hit the rock bottom pavement. "Of course you don't care," I sighed, staring straight ahead at the empty, dimming road that was now my life. I wiped a stray tear on my face. But I had been crying too much to fall apart in the face of unresponsive doors and a miserable reality. You know, if you didn't call _this_ falling apart.

As I sat down, I allowed the cool, gentle May wind to caress my body, causing a shiver to ripple through me. With the cold embrace, it dawned on me that perhaps the saddest thing wasn't him leaving. These past weeks wouldn't have so unbearable if I kew there was light at the end of the tunnel. But I didn't see my hell on earth ending anytime soon.

"When are you coming back?" I asked to no one in particular—the wind, I suppose, as it caressed my cheek in his absence. I placed a hand on my belly, blocking out the image of what was growing inside. But even if Scourge did come back...

He wouldn't want me.

* * *

Aww, poor Amy.

Things will get better. Maybe. Probably not. Never.

Wait and see! Good thing I update frequently. :)

Please review, amigos!


	5. In the Waiting Line

Hi, friends.

Back with chapter five. Yay. I like this chapter a lot. And I'm really excited for the later chapters.

We've started off with Amy in a major funk and this chapter relives some of it, though in the next chap we see the story taking a turn.

But we'll talk about it when we get there, I suppose.

Read on, loves. :)

**Disclaimer:** Are these characters mine? Most of them aren't. But you knew that, didn't you SEGA?

* * *

Chapter 5: In the Waiting Line

My brief moments of an almost tragic tranquility were interrupted by a grumbling in my stupid stomach. Great.

So I was driving. Contemplating the thought of just going home for nourishment. But by now the sun's natural light was fading, and the artificial kind from Merriment was effective at catching my attention. So to the plaza I went.

Upon arriving, it occurred to me that it would have been better to go home. There were people here. And they were displaying happiness—that emotion I could never have. And maybe that sounded cynical—something that Shadow would say, but it was true. But I didn't want to think about him.

Because what would he say? What would the others say? It wasn't in Blaze's nature to tell a dirty little secret, but I guess it wasn't in my nature to mope around. I shook my head. _She wouldn't tell. And my lips were sealed._

Sealed. Just like my fate. I walked further into the plaza, caught up in the practice of numbness with only one objective in mind. Food. The same lights and busy establishments that tempted me before were now successful at making me dizzy.

So I took a retreat for the familiar, optioning for my favorite cafe, _stressed. _How appropriate the name was in this time. To think that the last time I came here was during the immediate aftermath of _the_ _incident._

And it's funny that just when I had decided _the incident_ was for the best, _this _happened. A crap load of bombs exploded all over my life. And I'm not too sure if I can ever recover from these wounds.

But was an almost unbearable reality of today really better than the delusion of some weeks ago? Maybe it be easier to answer with food in my stomach...

Maybe food would mend my broken reality too. But big fat problems couldn't be solved by such shallow means.

I opened the door with a sigh, annoyed that the usual cozy atmosphere seemed to dim a little with me entering. But I've been having that affect lately. People carried on with whatever they were doing however, assuring me that I wasn't as depressing as I thought I was.

And the cashier, a grey wolf smiling with his dazzling blue eyes facing my direction, only acted to confirm this suspicion. "Hello, Miss. What can I do for you?"

_Make all the suffering go away._

But if I was looking at a cashier boy for any consolation to my problems, then I really _was_ desperate. I smiled back, though I wasn't in the mood to smile. I wasn't in the mood for anything. I mean, I sort of wanted to die even if that meant taking two lives, but I suppose I couldn't do that either. But I was wasting time. _Just place your damn order and stop thinking about your shitty life. _

I made my typical order—a strawberry-kiwi smoothie and a vegetarian sub—and handed him my money. _Money. _I probably should be saving some. I scratched my head, taking back my receipt. _Did this mean I couldn't go to law school? _

Nope. I wasn't thinking about this—that's why I was blocking it out. I'd deal with this when I'd have to.

_But when the hell was that?_

"For here or to go?" His voice woke me from my unfortunate mental wandering. Here, most likely. But then I thought about what happened the last time I came here. I didn't want to feel like any more of a fool than I already was.

I shook my head. "To go." That's right, let me eat in lonesome. I could sense everything becoming the beginning of a never ending inner battle. I said life was fun, right?

"Okay," he replied, his voice falling slightly. What? Did he actually _want _my presence here? Gosh, I would have felt flattered since he seemed to be the only one. But if he knew the biological battle going on inside me, he wouldn't be thinking twice about me.

God, it never occurred to me how disposable women are to the eyes of men. Maybe it's just me, all bitter about how Scourge dumped me with child like I was nothing, but even with the way the cashier's eyes gleamed with a borderline flirtatious intensity, who's to say he wouldn't wrong me like the others?

You couldn't trust them.

And with Blaze's overbearing nature, you'd think she would have lectured me about the deception of men or something a long time ago. But quite frankly, I was kind of sick of her if they were reasonable. Come to think of it, I was beyond sick of the other guys too. If anything, I was glad I didn't have to see any of them here—

"Amy?" _Oh great. _

"Sonic?"_ Run away._

I rolled my eyes. What a twist from two months ago. _Me running way?_ I would have ran _into_ his arms, possibly tackling him over like an energetic linebacker. But no, I couldn't leave. It would destroy the little dignity I'm surprised I still had. Instead I stood my ground; after all I was here first. But with all of these unwanted encounters...

I was never coming here again.

The kind wolf handed me my order and I nodded thanks, before facing Sonic. I wanted to question why he was here, and why the universe always wanted to vex me for some reason. Wasn't being pregnant bad enough? I winced slightly._ Block it out. Block it out!_

"You okay, Ames?" Sonic asked me. I shrugged, before giving myself a mental slap to the head. _So you want to prolong this awkward encounter? Just tell him you're fine and leave!_

Tapping his fingertips against the counter-top—probably in bored contempt, the cashier alerted us we weren't the only ones in line.

"Hold on, Ames," Sonic instructed, before paying for some blueberry scones. Probably for Sally. Oh, Sally. I had forgotten she had existed. I was hoping she hadn't told Sonic about last night. But he was her _boyfriend. _Why wouldn't she spill?

"Okay, then," Sonic said, stepping out of his place in line. "What's up?"

"Nothing." And I meant that in the saddest sense. Everything in my life was falling apart. But he didn't have to know that. There's nothing he could do about it. And I thought again about putting on a false, happier deposition, but we both knew better. And Sally probably told him about how pitiful I was at dinner. I wanted to change the topic that this discussion would ultimately fall into.

"So what brings you here, Sonic?" I said, trying to hide the glower in my tone. I was pretty sure I was unsuccessful. But tell me something new.

"Well I picked up some chilli dogs from Phil, you know since _I_ have to do that myself now." He cracked a lopsided grin, probably hoping I'd smile along. But there was no avail. He cleared his throat. "So now I'm just getting some stuff for Sal. Nice weather, eh?"

Perfect actually. But for six weeks now, I had been in no mood to enjoy it. And I wanted to leave.

My feet shifted uncomfortably against the tile floor, as I waited for him to wait for me to say something. There was always an expectation. Enough of this.

"It was nice seeing you, Sonic."_ It wasn't. _"But I have to go."_ I didn't know where. _

I started off for the door, making it out of the establishment before I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Sonic..."

"Look, Ames, I'm sorry that this happened," he said, turning me to face him. I could see a level of hurt in his eyes. But it could never match mine. After all, he was right about Scourge, and I was the only one who fell victim to anything.

"If I knew where he was..." He bowed his head down as his fists clenched. I shook my head. I didn't want him to be angry._ I _was angry that my solace had been disturbed by the very being who gave it to me.

"No, it isn't anyone's fault..."

"God, Ames how can you be so defenseless?" Sonic replied back sharply, his emerald eyes burning against mine. My teeth gritted. Did he think that I didn't blame myself? That I didn't blame Scourge? That I didn't blame _him_ to an extent? But what good came from playing the blame game?

I scoffed in revolt. "How can you be so righteous?"

Here we were, fighting like the married couple we'd never be in the middle of Merriment Plaza. Feeling bystander eyes press against my form, I instantly felt suffocated.

"Because someone has to," Sonic continued, undeterred by my comment or our surroundings. He was a hero. I was a victim. I stared at him, holding my tongue. What more could I say? He'd always win as far as disputes go. Maybe he should be a lawyer.

"Scourge is an asshole," Sonic then said out of nowhere. I opened my mouth to protest, but he raised a brow in response, as if he was just _asking_ for me to object.

"And I don't want to see you all sad and distressed over him because he's _not_ worth it," he informed, beginning lead me into a walk away from the growing public space.

I sighed, however. As much as I didn't want to dismiss his words, he didn't realize that the tie between me and the _asshole_ was tighter then I would like. "It's not that easy."

"It's okay. I can understand you're hurt, and it will take time," he assured, "but just remember that you're his loss, not the other way around. Kay, Ames?"

I fought the urge to shrug._ Maybe._ But I couldn't imagine that being the case now. Who would want me, all knocked up and trying to be numb?

"Okay, Sonic," I said, taking in the dimming sky as a sign that this little encounter should end. I was expecting him to respond with a thumbs up, a million dollar smile, perhaps. But what he did next surprised me.

Pulling me into a hug, my eyes widened slightly as I tried to adjust to this weird, unwelcomed change. I didn't know if the roles had changed. He didn't save me. But it's not like he could.

It was destruction of my own doing, and I didn't need any more sympathy. I released from the second pity hug that day, allowing my face to twitch into a smile, and then his appeared. Good.

Now let me suffer alone.

"Remember that life's too short to cry over spilled milk," he offered again with a slight snicker, apparently my only source of friendly, but ultimately tasteless advice. I sighed in light humor. I wasn't crying over spilled milk. I was distraught because I couldn't get the stain out. And I couldn't cover over it, either.

"I'll remember that," I noted with a strained laugh, tapping a finger to my head. "Thanks for the advice."

"Hey, anytime," he said, clasping his palms against the back of his neck as he stretched. I nodded, taking in the surroundings. We were in the parking lot now, and the sun had almost faded completely. _So much for a quick bite._

But I was pretty thankful for this encounter. Sonic was actually pretty insightful. Although his words weren't particularly impacting, he did make me come to an important realization. Being miserable these past six or so weeks hadn't done anything. Bitterness, and sadness had captured me in an unfortunate haze, and I had allowed it to take me prisoner for too long.

I still wasn't completely enlightened, but it was nice to see disaster's affects releasing me from its choke hold. Of course I was still pregnant, but being miserable wouldn't make it all go away. I had to face everything head on. And although the picture was probably painted as me, unarmored against a very daunting world, I didn't want to think about that right now. _Baby steps..._

_Oh, God. There would be a baby…_

"I should be leaving," I said after a while, reaching my mini cooper.

"I guess so," Sonic said, scratching his head boyishly. I let myself smile. Sure, I didn't _love_ him anymore, but it was impossible for him not to have an affect on me. "Unless you want to come over. Sally's worried about you."

_Oh, how nice of her. _My smile vanished astried not to give a look of disdain. It sounded more like an invitation to my doom. I mean, if Blaze had told anyone of my 'little issue' it would have been Sally. Now that my distaste for her had safely died down for good, she was a reasonable source to store secrets, and in the chain of girlfriends I had, I would definitely go to her if Blaze wasn't available.

But Sally was also sly. I could see her studying me suspiciously, basking in an all-knowing air while while not telling a soul. And I was under enough scrutiny already.

I will admit, though, it was nice seeing the tables turned slightly. I always rejoiced in the thought of Sonic inviting me to his home. Now I was pleased to see that I could resist his kind offer.

I shook my head. As much as I _wanted_ to impose on him and Sally, I saw no use to it. "Thanks, but I really think I should head home." It was true; I hadn't been there for days. You never know if I left the door unlocked and I was robbed by girl scouts. You know, some _crap_ that would only happen to me.

Sonic shrugged his shoulders. "No worries. I'll see you later."

I waved, putting on a half-smile. "Okay. Bye."

And my former hero left in a flash.

* * *

As I made my way back to Mable Place, it occurred to me that my life would never be normal again.

I approached my apartment door and ventured inside, and I could feel my miserable feelings die down in place of another emotion. Fear.

I set my keys on the kitchen counter and tried to imagine a life that was no longer my own. A life with a child—boy or girl, it didn't matter—and watching them grow and become their own person, but I couldn't. I placed a hand on my stomach, trying to detect movement, some sort of conformation that this was real, but I couldn't.

Even with time and Sonic partially getting me out of my funk, this didn't feel real. It still felt like I was stuck in a haze, and being pregnant was just too absurd.

But I _was_.

It couldn't be denied, and with time the situation would just get worst, more unavoidable. And I would get big.

BIG.

I groaned, tossing the food I bought on the counter-top and marching to my room. Forget being hungry. I was going to get to fat. I was going to have to give _birth_ to a crying baby, nurse it, and take care of it. Compromising my own free will, my own _sanity _as 'daddy' walked off as a free man.

Sitting on my comforter, I could hear the face-less child asking me who their dead-beat daddy was, as if what I'd done as a single parent wasn't good enough for them. And I knew I wouldn't be good enough. I'd never want to go through something like that alone. Especially since it would be me, just me, suffering the effects of what two caused. And call me selfish and uptight but it just didn't seem fair.

And I knew life wasn't fair. But this was still _my_ life.

With a sigh, I rose from my bed. Because with unfairness of the world, I knew that I had to start by doing something I would hate. Taking a one-eighty back into the kitchen, I pulled my house phone to my ear.

I dialed, and then waited for a voice to come through.

"Hello?"

Let's get this over with.

* * *

Is Amy taking action? Good for her.

See what she does in the next chap.

Please review! It's my motivation!

~KB


	6. Sort Of

Back again. And you're in for a twist. Apologies for any typos.

That's all I have to say.

**Disclaimer:** SEGA. No, I _don't_ own your characters. Never said I did. Thanks for letting me use them though.

* * *

Chapter 6: Sort of

A soft everlasting drizzle accompanied me to the doctor's office. It was comforting seeing that the weather actually matched my subdued spirits for once.

"Are you okay?" Blaze was here too. I didn't know if it was weird that I had her here, but the man that _should_ have been here was nowhere to be seen. I just hoped no one would mistake us for lesbian lovers...

But that was the least of my worries.

"I'm holding up," I told her honestly, feeling a bit like a lab rat after all the tests a nurse had just ran on me, but I was not going to go into the specifics. Now I was just waiting for the gynecologist. But it was taking _forever. _

Even Blaze, usually the epitome of outright uprightness, appeared bored as she scanned passively through dated women magazines in the waiting space. I wrinkled my nose, breathing in the over sterilized air. This was a glorified prison, and I didn't know what relief I was supposed to get by coming here. Right now I just felt like a prisoner. And had Blaze_ not_ been here, I would have split over an hour ago. _Seriously, didn't she have anything better to do?_ But I suppose I was in no condition to question how she wanted to live her life. My reasons for being here proved that I had made some questionable decisions.

I sighed, a bit irritated at the punishment the universe had conjured up for me for merely partaking in a harmless, sensual act.I mean everyone else was doing it, but I didn't see _them_ suffering the biologic consequences. _I suppose if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. _

But if I couldn't handle a brief stint at the gyno, how the hell was I supposed to endure nine months? I tapped my finger-tips impatiently against the armrests of my chair, digging my feet further into the forest green carpet. _God, if I wasn't so ashamed that I was pregnant, you bet I would be taking this up with the receptionist!_

"Don't worry Amy, you'll be up soon," Blaze assured me, probably feeling my inner tension radiating onto her. I expelled the sterile air through my nose in a huff.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, trying to hide the whine in my voice. I mean, I didn't know _what_ this time lapse meant. I knew it took some time to process tests, but they could have just told me to come back another day or something. As awful as my life appeared, I still had one. And of all tragic causes, I didn't want to die of boredom.

"Well first, we're the only ones here," Blaze started, getting all know-it-all on me. I rolled my eyes, before studying the practically vacant waiting space. Huh, I didn't realize I was _that_ ignorant.

"Second, we made this appointment on pretty short notice, so you're not going to get automatic preference." Her eyes then fell to the window opposite of us, as it was assaulted by rainwater. That was the excitement of this waiting period.

Nevertheless, I nodded to her words. She had spoken the truth, but the length of this time lapse had me worried. Even a walk-in could be in and out in a flash if their circumstance wasn't too dire. I had watched people who came after me leave a while ago. I knew better than to compare, but I didn't know if this was a bad sign. And I was sick of the worst alternative.

"Miss Rose?"_ Finally. _I glanced at Blaze who offered a smile. I would have smiled back, but doctors didn't sit right with me. And as I rose from my chair and approached the nurse, I was convinced that my destruction was ahead.

"Good luck!" Blaze called after me, as I disappeared within the office clinic's depths. I inhaled, trying to find comfort in her encouragement. I knew she was trying to be supportive but this whole situation was out of my control. If I _really_ was lucky, I wouldn't be here in the first place.

The young puma nurse led me into an examining room. "You can sit down on the operating chair."

I tried not to cringe._ Operating chair? _Not only was the name daunting, but so was the idea of it. I preferred _not _to be worked on. But I sat down anyway when I felt the nurse begin to blink at me. When I was all nestled into the chair of my destruction, she placed a manila folder I believed was mine on the counter and turned to me. "Okay, your doctor will be with you shortly. Have a nice day."

She flashed a polite smile, and then left. I sat there expressionlessly, although a bit surprised at how a blank, white lab room could appear so depressing. But then I remembered why I was here.

"_Okay, I'm heading over there now."_ I heard a voice say behind me in the distance, probably talking to one of the nurses. When I heard the door knob turn behind me, I closed my eyes. _Here we go._

"Miss Rose?" The sound of a deep, but soothing voice through the air forced my eyes open. I tried not to study him outright, all obnoxious and such, but he seemed really young to be a doctor. His lab coat was crisp and white, almost blinding in the equally white lab space.

It was weird. I'm not saying that other doctors were dirty or old or gross or anything, but there was this vibe about him. Something freshly familiar. And in this depressing clinic, he was a breath of ease, almost a relief to the antiseptic burning my nose.

It also helped that he was handsome. With his tall, lean form, radiant, ash gray fur, and royal blue eyes, he seemed to be better suited for a model than a male, female doctor. I laughed internally. _Way to put the guy in gynecologist. _

But the spell all good looking men were able to cast on unsuspecting women (and some men) wouldn't enchant me. I was done swooning.

Look at where it had gotten me.

I nodded. "Yes."

He smiled, and it was dazzling to say the least. It could easily rival that of Sonic's or dare I say Scourge's. But I guess that was irrelevant.

He shook my hand firmly before introducing himself. "I'm Dr. Possum."

"Hi."

"Hello, yourself." He smiled again—I guess he was a happy person. Maybe he was trying to charm me, maybe he was just trying to be nice, but it was hard to be interested. I looked away somewhat dolefully, and he, maybe catching on to my dismissiveness, skimmed through the manila file that the nurse had set on the table.

"Okay then Miss Rose, how are you feeling today?" he asked me, still scanning the document.

"Fine," I replied, wondering if I wasn't being truthful. I mean, I hadn't thrown up this morning and I wasn't _fat_ yet. "Sure, I've been better," I then added, feeling more satisfied with my response. Now that I look back, I didn't know why I was so bitter before. A guy had left me. Big deal. It was _what_ he left me with that was the bigger issue.

Like the endless rain storm outside, my life was darker than I'd like to admit. And like the sunshine I had so angrily wished away, I had no idea when there would be any true light in my life. I just knew that there would be a child.

"What seems to be troubling you?"

I parted my mouth slightly to respond, but I didn't know how. I mean, I could go with the obvious, but even here in a clinic, I had no desire to spill my news. After all, he was the one with the file. He had all the answers he needed and I was sick of being toyed with.

I brushed my bangs from my face, trying to rid myself of my irritated spirits. But who was I to be mad? If anyone should be upset it should be him. With me. I could tell that I was _seriously _harshing his mellow.

"Oh, just female issues..." I lightly claimed, tapping my fingers along my chair. Try the biggest of them all. But he wouldn't understand.

"Really, now?" _No, I just wanted to keep the chair warm. _I sighed, confounded with how dry and unpleasant this was. He hadn't even done any actual 'doctoring' yet I felt myself hating this place with a greater intensity with each passing second. _I can't believe I thought he was refreshing..._

"I apologize for sounding so unprofessional," he then began, his eyes meeting mine before returning to the file. He then leaned against the file cabinet a few feet in front of me, reading the thing intensely as if it were some college examination. He scrunched his brows. "It's just that I find these results a bit unsettling."

I studied him in mild disbelief. I waited for him to smile, or do something charming, but instead a frown fell on his face. I gulped. "What's wrong?"

Curious blue orbs met mine. "Well it appears that you came here under the notion that you were pregnant, is that correct?"

_Were? _I rose up from my chair. "What are you saying?"

"Well, Miss Rose, the urine test that you took today indicates otherwise."

My eyes widened as I remained suspended in place. _Otherwise? _Looking around the room in a scattered fashion, much like my brain was, I tried to make sense of his words.

"I'm sorry?" he then said, as I could see him looking at me suspiciously in the corner of his eye. "It's hard to make sense of the baffled look on your face. But your records also indicate that you are healthy and you don't require any further checkup. Unless you have any other questions-"

"So, you're telling me I'm _not_ pregnant?" I interrupted, staring past him in pure bewilderment.

"Yes."

"You mean I _am_?"

"_No_."

"Huh?"

"_No_. I mean, _yes_."

_What the?_ I blinked at him. I was beyond confused. And I could tell he was too. He then waved his hands up in defense. "_Sorry._ I mean to say that you do not need any prenatal care." I rose a brow.

He sighed. "You're _not_ with child."

_Oh._

"But how?"

He glanced at the folder again. "Well, you noted here that you vomited the other morning, and that you have a slightly irregular menstrual cycle. You might have perceived these symptoms of being pregnant, especially since the last time you indicated you had sexual intercourse was about..." he brought his finger to where it was written, "...six weeks ago."

I smiled uncomfortably. _Okay, way too personal. _But that didn't explain everything.

"But I took a test," I pushed on further, somehow unsatisfied by his words. Trust me, in no way did I _want_ to be pregnant, but this all seemed too good to be true. And if it _were_ actually true, I was expecting to feel a bit more relieved. Instead I still felt burdened. There was no way anything could go _poof _and disappear. You know, like Scourge did...

"Well, it's not uncommon for pregnancy tests to read incorrectly. The tests you took earlier in this clinic also indicates that you have a slight hormone imbalance that may have been caused by a slight depression, and a lack of essential nutrients. Have you been eating properly?"

I rose my head up as I contemplated it. Now that I think about it, I couldn't remember the last time I ate. Not to mention I left the food I got at stressed on the counter. "I guess not."

He nodded. "In some cases—although it tends to be very slight—the test may have picked up similar hormones associated to that of pregnancy hormones. Depending on the age of the tests coupled with the imbalance, I'm not surprised that this happened. Simply a false positive. I apologize for the confusion."

I shook my head. "No, you've done nothing wrong." Nope, it was just me. Again. My face fell into a slight pout. I couldn't even be _pregnant_ right._ Just when I thought I couldn't be a bigger idiot at the doctors office... _

"Fair enough, but there's not need to fret," he said, probably sensing my self-directed disdain. "However, although you are in the clear from a gynecologist's standpoint, I would recommend that you eat something, and smile a bit more. I'm sure it will regulate your hormonal levels."

I shifted my face into a more neutral expression. "I'll do my best."

He nodded again, flashing a smirk. "At a girl."

"Now I'll just record this appointment, and my recommendation and you can be on your way," Dr. Possum informed me, as I merely nodded in response. As he filed out the file on the counter-top, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was nice to see that this trip to the dreaded doctors was virtually painless.

Sure, it didn't completely sooth my spirits, but it was one step right direction. I mean, I wasn't expecting. _Technically _my life wasn't over.

You know, except for the fact that it _still _had no purpose.

A ringing then cut through the air, stifling my thoughts. My glance met the his as he pulled his cellphone out of his lab coat pocket.

"Sorry," he apologized, taking the phone swiftly to his ear. "It's my dad. Do you mind if I take it?"

"Of course not," I replied with a reassuring smile. He nodded, proceeding to talk to his father.

"_Hey, Pa..._" Out of respect I tried my best to block out what he was saying. But I suppose my ears were made for eavesdropping.

"What? You need me to repaint the walls for the bar? Dad, I'm a _doctor_ not a painter."

He faced the window before releasing a low sigh. "Alright then, I'll pick up the paint and see if I can do it this weekend. That okay? Good. See you later then."

Turning to me, he slid the smart phone back into his pocket. "Again, sorry about that."

"You don't have to apologize." And I meant it. It was his dad. I was his patient. And since I wasn't dying on the floor in a pool of my own blood or something else equally grotesque and urgent, there was a very flexible line of who he could tend to first.

He grinned slightly, his head tilted toward the ceiling as he continued to fill out the chart. "But I'll tell you, that man is a _lady_, always wanting to remodel the place," he said aloud, in an absentminded manner.

"You're dad, you mean?" I inquired, as he nodded.

"Yeah, my dad owns a bar in the area. McAlister's Tavern, have you heard of it?"

"I have."

Wait.

"_McAlister's Tavern?_!" I called out in a much louder shriek than I intended. If his dad owned that bar, then he was Phil's son. I cupped my head in my hands in mortification. Phil's _son_ examined me. God, did everyone—even those that I knew indirectly—have to know about my shame?

He scratched his head, probably wondering why I was pouting the way I was. "Um yes. You frequent there?"

I sighed, wondering why this world had to be so small. "I know your dad," I offered, shifting my eyes from the vinyl floor to meet his. "He's always talking about you."

"Hmm, what does he say?" he asked, his eyes flashing with an optimistic eagerness that he seemed to wear naturally. But it's a lot easier to be happy when you weren't constantly being disappointed. I'm not saying that he never knew adversity—after all, I didn't really know him. But with my answer I knew that his optimism would remain undeterred.

"That you're a bright young man who's _way_ more upstanding than the guys I go after," I said. I coughed a few times, adjusting my voice to a faux Phil interpretation to show him what I meant. "If it doesn't work out with so-and-so, you better date my son because _blah blah blah_ he's in medical school _blah blah blah_ he can use a scalpel _blah blah blah_ that makes him better than everyone else _blah blah blah_."

Dr. Possum smiled smugly. "Can't say I don't like the sound of that."

Contrary to my polite nature, I pointed a finger at him when a realization hit me. "But wait. You're _not_ in medical school."

He shrugged his shoulders. "He considers medical school and residency to be the same thing. Although I finished my residency in gynecology a few months ago, I have yet to make what he calls "the big bucks" and he's still waiting for me to pay him back for some of the loans I had to take on his account. So yeah, I'm _still_ in medical school."

I laughed a little bit before extending out my hand out to him. We hadn't had a formal introduction. "I'm Amy," I said, shaking his hand.

"Amy?" I suppose it was his turn to do the questioning. I smiled back. His eyes scanned the file once more before he looked at me.

"So, _you're _the Amy dad mentions." I nodded. What did I say about it being a small world?

"What does he say about _me_ then?" I asked with a childish anxiousness as I kicked my legs playfully in the air.

He placed the folder under his armpit as he gave the ceiling a contemplative look. "To be honest he says you're a bit down in your luck." I pursed my lips in contempt. Of course he said that, it seems like no one has anything good to say about me these days.

"But..." he began, "he never forgets to mention how sweet and beautiful you are."

"That sounds appropriate," I beamed with a satisfied smile. Dr Possum chuckled.

"Keeping to the second introduction—I'm Parker."

"Nice to meet you."

There was a brief moment of silence before I noticed that the rain had stopped. But with the way the sky appeared—gray and frowning—I knew that the clouds weren't done crying. It would be best to leave now to avoid the hell storm that would ensue.

I rose up from the chair, brushing my green dress straight. "Anyway, thank you for everything, Dr. Possum. I guess I'll just take the recommendation and head out."

"Fair enough," he agreed, tearing out the slip from the manila folder and bringing it towards my direction. He then stopped midway, folding the slip mid air. "If you allow me to take you out to dinner."

I froze. "_W-what?"_

His smirk intensified. "Let me take you out. To dinner or something along those lines."

I blinked rapidly, trying to see if there was some sort of jest in his eyes or flinching to tell me he _wasn't _serious. But they were serious.

He was serious.

I parted my mouth to say something but my mouth was dry; I was beyond dumbstruck. I mean, its not that I had anything against him. He was very attractive—you heard all the things I was saying about him earlier. And he had a very nice personality. Just by being in his presence my opinion of doctors lightened. But wasn't there some rule against doctors dating their patients or something? I didn't know what to make of his proposal.

"This is sudden. After all, I just thought I was _pregnant. _Don't you find that unsettling at all?" I tried to reason, confused with this second twist of the day. I came here with the idea that I was going to get some special vitamins,some_ sympathy. _Not a date.

"Nonsense, it wasn't like you actually _were_ pregnant. And you coming here with your female feline friend practically indicates that you're not seeing anyone." _Good point._

But I didn't feel like admitting that to him. Even with the pregnancy scare, I was still pretty new to the realm of relationships. Plus it's not like I could look toward my past experiences to guide me here. My love life was a sham. And my heart was in shambles.

My eyes narrowed as I glared in his royal blue ones. I didn't want to be mean and deny his kind offer, but I had to consider my own feelings, even if they were hard to find.

Maybe it was me taking too long to respond, or him seeing something—a twinkle or spark in my eyes that conveyed a sort of conformation—but the possum before me grinned.

"So I'll pick you up Saturday at eight?"

I could have said no. It could have been just as simple as saying yes. But something inside me told me that I didn't have anything to lose if I accepted. And I'd never know unless I gave him a chance.

I sighed, allowing a genuine smile to grace my lips. "Okay, sure..."

"Great," he said, making a little victory fist pump, before finally handing me the slip. Taking it, I couldn't help but sport a teethy grin. At least I wasn't the one pushing here.

"I wrote my number down on the recommendation. We can talk later. See you soon, Amy."

"Bye, Parker," I said with a small wave before exiting the room. I ventured out into the hallway to find Blaze re-reading another dated magazine.

"Hey, Blaze."

"Amy," she said, rising from her chair and coming to my side. "How did the appointment go?"

"Fine," I replied with a slight shrug of my shoulders, meeting her ember eyes that seemed to double in worry with my unnaturally objective response. To be quite honest, I didn't know what to make of the whole thing. It wasn't bad by a long shot, but too unpredictable for me to accept the news and the outing offer with happy arms.

Contrary to the dark, troubling sky above, my life had a new light. Even if sunshine kind of bugged me.

"I have a date."

* * *

So there you have it. Not pregnant. Something tells me that you're either going to like it or hate it. Tell me all about it.

Review my children, review!

~KosB


	7. Take Me The Way I Am

Ello.

I'm back again. And I brought a chapter with me!

So Amy has a date. With Parker. How's that going to go?

Read below.

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN SEGA. DONE.

* * *

Chapter 7: Take Me the Way I Am

"A date?"

"So you're _not _pregnant?" Blaze then asked, for perhaps what was the _fourth _time. Tired of responding, I nodded from the passenger seat hoping she'd catch me in her peripheral vision. Or stop pestering me.

"Just to be sure, are you—"

"_Blaze," _I cautioned in a hiss, not wanting to upset her like she was annoying me. After all, Blaze was supposed to be the sharpest of the two of us—of practically anyone I knew. Why did I need to repeat myself?

She swatted the air with her hand, dismissing the threat in my voice. "Calm down. I'm only teasing you," Blaze said, her eyes appearing very amused as she watched for traffic. "You wanted me to lighten up, right? How about you? Are you still capable of laughing?"

I offered her a slightly irritated huff. "Of course I am. And when did I mention you not being _light_?"

"When you were passed out on the side walk," Blaze informed me rather matter-of-factually. "You were mumbling something about me worrying too much about you. And the things Silver said were true. We're friends, but were also adults and I can't always throw myself in your problems."

"I never asked you too," I replied, facing my lap and feeling a tension I was too well accustomed to filling the car. It wasn't nearly as bad as before, but it was unsettling to say the least.

"I know. But you'd do the same for me," she offered, somehow calming the air. "And besides, I consider you to be much more than a friend to me. Guys don't seem to realize the power of a sisterly bond."

I smiled. Blaze was like the sister I never had and I was glad to see that she felt the same way, even if I hadn't been holding up to well on my side of the support. "Thank you, Blaze."

She nodded, still focusing ahead. "And I hope that bond will be strong enough for you to actually tell me the truth," she then said out of nowhere, before turning on the wipers to clear some stray rain. I looked at her, not knowing what to make of what she had just told me.

Her grip hardened on the stirring wheel and suddenly everything was serious. "You have told me _everything_, haven't you?"

"Yes, Blaze," I said with a sigh. Yes, I know that I left her hanging initially. But the truth was that I had no idea what was happening right now. The everything that she wanted to know seemed to be a lot of nothing because I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't know how to _comprehend_ it.

I was _kind of _with Scourge, then I _was _with him, now I _wasn't_ technicallywith him without any of my objections on the matter, then I was pregnant, now suddenly I'm not—or rather, I was never pregnant in the first place, but-

"Are you hungry?"

I placed a hand to my stomach which was both empty of food and the thoughts of a child. I nodded, realizing that I hadn't really eaten in days. I was trying to be numb.

But I was guilty of feeling guilty, and I knew that I couldn't act this sad, tragic way forever. Had he even shed a tear for me? Lost sleep and gained horrific nightmares?

I knew the answer, but it was too soon to admit it. And I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to think about him. Especially if he wasn't thinking of me.

"Actually, I really am," I replied.

"Good, I know just the place. We can talk about your date as well."

"Okay, where to?" But when the feline remained silent, I knew that where we were going would be a surprise. And I didn't know how I felt about surprises. I just knew that some were better than others. And if Blaze had any sense of the _sisterly compassion_ she was going on about earlier, then she would have spared me, just this once.

But when we pulled up to Merriment Plaza, something told me that I wasn't going to be lucky. It's not like I ever was.

I was right.

I should have objected when we walked into Smoothie Junction. It's just that with everything happening in my life, I just so happened to forget that a certain rabbit—a very irritating rabbit—worked here.

_God, I hope she doesn't try to spit in my smoothie, t__he little bitch._ But maybe I was taking things too far. Cream couldn't be that immature or angry at me, could she? After all, compared to the two of us, she was the one who had her life together. She could never shut up about how Tails was apparently a better lover than he let on.

And here I was, all damaged goods and judging other people. Again.

As we approached the counter top to place our orders, Blaze nudged me forward, forcing me to be eye to eye with my so called friend. Cream gave me a very forced look of indifference as I rolled my eyes, irritated at Momma Blaze's effort for the two of us to make nice. What was this, ninth grade?

"_Ahem,_" Blaze then cleared her throat, as the three of us stood in a bitter silence.

What? Did she expect _me_ to say something? God, I was so over this—being dragged to places and being forced to reconcile with inconsiderate bunnies named Cream.

"What do you want?" Cream finally questioned, a bit of snark on her voice as she removed her ridiculous neon orange work hat, to give me the stare down.

I wanted to glare back at her, unflinching, and just as harsh as her, but I was in no mood for this. Sure I didn't want to talk to her, but I didn't want to be her self-proclaimed enemy over such trivial matters. I sighed.

It had been a long day.

And the brief feelings of minor relief were beginning to fade, and I was getting tired of all of this tension. So it looked like I had to be the bigger person.

"Nothing," I said after a while, my eyes shifting to the source of a blender running on high, mashing some strawberries and blueberries into a thick, violet concoction. That was my life. The lines had blended together and I had no idea who was a friend or a foe. A lover or a heartbreaker.

My life was mush.

Possibly taking in the submissive look in my eyes, Cream's ears dropped. "Um...then why are you here?"

"You tell me. Or ask Blaze," I offered, shrugging toward the woman next to me who had brought our sorry union together. She pursed her lips, before exhaling.

"Maybe this wasn't my best idea..." Blaze started, admitting to her blind righteousness, "but I want you guys to be on good terms, so that things can go back to normal."

I scoffed at her words. _Normal._ When the hell was my life ever normal? From obsession stage to spontaneous relationship stage, my life has always been insanity of my unknown doing.

"No one said that we were on bad terms," I fought back instead, wanting this to be over. That was the problem with Blaze, with every good sisterly moment came her trying to play mom and dictate my life and I was sick of it. But I didn't want to start any drama. So instead of storming out, I stood my ground, holding my breath and trying not to say anything that would set Blaze on fire.

"She's right Blaze," Cream then said, leaning against the counter. "Sure, I thought Amy said some _real_ bitchy things to me, but I've gotten over it. We don't need _another_ intervention. Right Amy?"

I twitched my eyes. _I _said some bitchy things to her?But I could sense what she was trying to do. She was using her insincere confession to avert this confrontation to make Blaze look like she was over-thinking things. Although I didn't like the idea of making Blaze the bad guy, she sort of had it coming.

I mean, we were just at the doctor thinking I was pregnant and now she was trying to make me _apologize_ to Cream? Please.

"Yeah," I offered. "We're fine. You know I've just been a bit irritable with everything. I'll try harder to stay calm." Even though it wasn't me who needed a chill pill. I was perfectly numb. It was the two of them—Miss Controversy and Miss Overbearing here that needed to get over themselves. They had everything, so why were they so fixated on me and my issues all of the time?

Well, I guess Cream wasn't. She was literally too busy with Tails. And I should be busy trying to make something with my shattered life. I mean, I had a date on Saturday. Maybe I wasn't so ecstatic about it, but this had to be my silver lining, right?

"Sorry, girls," Blaze then apologized. "It's hard to take these things lightly when I care about you guys so much. I just don't like unsettled issues."

I nodded. Well, I guess that's why she was on my case all the time. I was the queen of unresolved issues

and tragic endings. Maybe I was a bad influence on her.

"Don't apologize," Cream said, reaching a consoling arm toward her. "I wasn't being that nice to Amy either, now that I think of it, and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," I said, meeting Cream's gaze. I didn't want to be mad anymore. I was trying so hard not to feel, but I wasn't kidding anyone. Cream hadn't done anything wrong. I was like cold rain on her lover's parade. She could text her boyfriend. God knows that if I had one I'd probably never leave his side.

"Okay then." Blaze clapped her hands. "Now that apologizes have been made, let's eat something. I'm paying."

"Sweet!" Cream exclaimed, before hanging her apron up on a hook on the wall and jumping over the counter.

"Uh, Cream, don't you still have to work?" I said, noting a random bundle of people now entering the smoothie establishment.

"Nah, I'm on my break," she assured us, before calling out to the kitchen. "Hey, Mike! I'm taking my break. Be back in an hour!"

As Cream started off merrily in Blaze's lead, I stopped the feline from going any further. Something didn't quite make sense. But it's not like anything ever did.

"Wait, you _weren't _planning on us eating here?"

"No. I hate smoothies," Blaze decided. "I have teeth." She flashed a radiant, toothy smile.

"And an impressive set of them too," Cream noted, practically inspecting her bicuspids.

"I know," Blaze replied with a wink.

"Why, aren't _you_ humble?" I smiled back. Blaze shrugged.

"Only when the time calls for it."

And as we walked out of Smoothie Junction, I was hoping that my time of being self-content would come soon. Screw soon.

I needed it right now.

* * *

We were now in calm.

Blaze dropped me off at my apartment, and as I approached my home, I tried to determine what the feeling was in the air. The haze was dying down, but my skies weren't yet clear. I wasn't going to dwell on that though. I was fortunate.

I wasn't pregnant, _thank god_.

And I was on positive terms with the people I cared about. Well, _most _of them. I'll get to Rouge later.

All in all things were fine. I was alone, yes. But maybe that wasn't a bad thing. I mean, I was at a stage where I was totally independent. I wasn't obsessing over Sonic. And I wasn't stressing over Scourge or why he left.

The hurting hadn't stopped, but at least I had some prospects. Something to look forward to in the horizon. A date.

I sat down at the kitchen table, feeling my body churn with an uncanny mix of excitement and reasonable anxiety. This day alone had been a lot to take in.

I was moving on.

And you could guess how I felt about that. It goes into the whole 'being in a calm thing'. Only it felt like I was on a raft, bobbing gently against a smooth ocean current in the middle of nowhere beneath an expressionless sky.

I pursed my lips as I stared at a tan colored wall. I was neutral. I was _fine_, even though I hated saying that. I just had no idea where the hell I was going now that it was safe to say that I wasn't numb.

I had reasonably accepted that I could resolve my issues without the other half that caused them. And I wasn't going to cause myself more pain by pretending I could.

So I was moving on. Even though I still felt suspended in place.

But that's why I had Parker, right? He was going to get me out of my now tolerable standstill. _Yes._

I rose to my feet, feeling my life begin to grow with purpose, even if I simply an object of Parker's premature affections toward me. I know, pathetic on both of our parts. I had sworn that I wouldn't let my happiness be dictated on how a man felt about me. I winced at this sorry insight, practically hearing every feminist and of course Blaze, yell in my ear about how stupid that was. How stupid I was.

I groaned, letting myself fall in a dramatic plump on my mattress. I inhaled the soft linen scent, before pulling my head to my pillow. But this was a different type of feeling. It was weird to see someone looking at me that wasn't pitying me or trying to show that they were above me. And he really could have in my situation. I mean, I'm surprised he didn't think I was a whore.

Or maybe he did. _Guys are sick like that, aren't they?_

I shoke my head rapidly, although I could already feel these ideas seep in, soaking my mind silly with the possibility that he probably thought that I was an easy target. Especially being a doctor and all, he probably thought that he had me wrapped around his surgical gloved fingers. _Cause guys, are complete douches like that, aren't they?_

Hell, even though I was now friendly with Sonic, in my 'ignorantly in love stage' with him, wasn't he being a typical man, underneath his over-righteous, good-natured cover?

Yup.

Scourge had practically taken advantage of me on our first encounter—I don't care if I said yes or not. I should have known better, but he knew what he was doing, and here I was feeling tormented by his absence. The fact is that, I was always putting my best self out there for men who never even gave me quarter of their affection. And maybe it's been bad judgment on my part—ignorance in its finest. But it took getting a black eye to finally open my eyes, and see that love is a waste of time. Especially when it's been my heart on the line. Every fucking time.

I rolled over, suddenly feeling very irritated with life, and how every prince in my eyes, felt that they could ask for my hand, then bid me good night. Why the hell was I so easily dismissed?

Sleeping beauty had it right—waiting for her prince to come. She didn't have to exhaust her efforts.

She didn't have to fight a dragon.

So what the hell did anything mean now?

I had this date I didn't feel very excited for and to top it all off, I was confronted with one of the hardest decisions of my life.

What the hell was I going to wear?

And why couldn't I stop saying _what the hell_?

On a more serious note, somehow Saturday had snuck its way into my life and in three hours, Parker was going to ring my doorbell and I was suppose to be swept off my feet or wooed or some type of romantic sap that seemed too thick for me to swallow.

And I couldn't just cancel. It wasn't fair to Parker on such short notice, and that naïve head strong part of me didn't want to. Ignorant Amy wanted to have a night of romance that cynical Amy had no problem saying fuck it. I wasn't in the mood for romance.

To be quite honest, I wasn't in the mood for anything. So I guess I was being premature when I said I was no longer numb. I preferred being numb.

Yes, life for almost two months now had been downright unpleasant, with maybe an occasional, but brief moment of tolerance, but I was being to get used to it. And I didn't want be risen up only for my heart to be thrown back down on the cement ground.

Sure, Parker seemed like a nice guy. They all did. But I wasn't going to go into this men are scum rant again.

No, I had to endure. I was going on this date. And it was going to go well. All I had to do was drive there with him, and not say anything stupid on the way there. Go to dinner, and not say anything while eating. Laugh at his corny jokes about medical school and or his patients. Don't talk about that dark scary place that is my love life. Eat cheesecake. Don't say anything stupid on the way back home. Watch him drive home, because I'm not going to invite him in or let him kiss me at the door step or anything romantic like that because I know just how _well_ that went last time. Or better yet, he will realize that there is no mutual attraction between the two of us and simply bid me farewell. End date.

That's all I was asking for.

I sighed, trying to take note of all these mental cues. I was going to have a pleasant, meaningless time. That was it.

That.

Was.

_It._

No expectations and no sullen spirits. No, sir. I was going to go on this date and things would be decent. Not that I was against the evening going better than well or anything, but that would mean that I would be hoping, and hoping so far had been a waste of time.

Speaking of time, I still had to find a dress to wear…

_Bang._

A knock on the door did nothing to calm my restless spirits. What time was it anyway? My eyes fled to the analog clock mounted above the mantle. 6:58 p.m. Our date was supposed to be at 8. Or was it at 7?

_Bang. _

No, I'm pretty sure it was at 8. Crap, was it day light savings? But today was Saturday…

_Ring. _

Now he was ringing the doorbell; now he's getting impatient. Strike one; he hated me. And the date hadn't even begun. Should I say something?

_Ring._

I rolled my eyes, probably more irritated with myself than Parker could ever be. I was panicking over nothing. Ready or not, all I had to do was open the damn door.

So I did.

"Took long enough," Blaze called out, sharply eyeing me up from the door way. "And you're not even dressed. Fantastic."

I squinted at her, not quite liking this sassy new Blaze. Reminded me too much of Rouge. "What are you doing here?"

She crossed her arms before shutting the door with the sole of her shoe. "Checking to make sure that you didn't have a change in heart."

"Well I didn't. I'm still going," I retorted, trying to assume some control over the situation. Lately I've been bad at that. Blaze shook her head_. Damn_, I didn't like where this was going.

"Why do I find that a little hard to believe?"

I shrugged, before realizing that I was still in my pajamas. And on an even brighter note, I'm pretty sure I had drool on my face. I shook my head, trying to appear unfazed.

"I don't know. Look, I was in the process of getting ready. Now you're just interrupting me. I'm _fine_, you can leave."

Probably picking up on my favorite four-letter f word that was a constant indication of how un-fine I have been, Blaze took it upon herself to march into my room to see what I was up to.

This admittedly, was nothing.

"Now I _really_ don't believe you," she said, face deep in my closet. "I bet you don't even know what you're going to wear."

"_Nuh-uh_," I replied back dumbly, like a snarky little child I wish I could be. Children didn't date. And she didn't know anything. But then it occurred to me. I had a friend who was willing to help me out with this date-thingy that I really didn't know how to feel about. Why was I fighting back so hard? She was practically a godsend.

What if that really had been Parker waiting outside for me? What would I have done then?

He was taking me out. No question about it. He was taking a chance on me, even though he knew nothing of me. Wasn't that admirable of him? Shouldn't I be just a bit more excited about this?

"Help me," I said with a sigh, as she twirled around with a short, plum colored evening gown I had no idea I owned. I cocked my head to the side, studying it as a smile began to brim on Blaze's lips.

"That's why I'm here. Now take a quick shower and put this on. You don't have much time."

I sighed, before marching in the direction of my bathroom. As much as I needed her here, she could still be annoying.

"Okay, Mom."

"There," Blaze said after putting lipstick on my lips after insisting that I couldn't put it on myself. So what if I was fidgeting? I was nervous or trying to be numb or something and sitting down here with nothing to do but get lost in my unforgiving thoughts wasn't helping anything.

"_Now_ you can look."

As uneasy as I was feeling, I was a bit reluctant but did so. I mean, me being fully dressed was one of the final indications that this night was happening. So what I wanted to be suspended in time and enjoy this brief moment of whatever this was?

"Amy…"

I groaned. "Okay, _okay_."

Eyes opened. And I actually looked…pretty. I mean, compared to the distressed zombie with drool crusted on her lips only an hour ago, I think I cleaned up nicely—with Blaze's help of course.

"Thanks, Blaze," I said, studying my emerald halter dress that brushed against the top of my knees, my half up hair style, and makeup. Everything was done in good taste. I looked strong and confident while still maintaining a feminine edge. Why couldn't I be like this before? Maybe all the men in my life wouldn't have messed with me the way they did. _Don't go there…_

"We made good time. It's only 7:59," she said, looking quite pleased of herself. And why not? She made this happen. But it was beginning to feel like she felt like she made _me_ happen, the way she waltzed in here acting like mother dearest. But I wasn't going to fight her on her maternal mentality. Not tonight.

I had more pressing matters to deal with. And speaking for the knock on the door, I knew that those matters were now very well in reach. _Oh, boy._

"He's here," Blaze alerted me with a smile on her tone. Good, she could be exited for the both of us. She began to shoo me toward the door, "Go answer it!"

Exhaling any of my last minute trepidation, I began to strut to the door, summoning all of the womanly appeal I usually could have before my heart was doused with motor oil and set on fire.

"Okay, I'm coming!" I called to the man behind the door. I let my hand grace the knob, bracing myself for the sight that was in store. Here goes nothing.

I opened the door to see Parker, smiling that bright smile that although princely, and charming, seemed to sicken me. Why was everyone so happy?

"Hello, Amy." His violet eyes flickered with an honest intensity. I couldn't help but grin, slightly mesmerized.

"Hi, Parker."

And then we stood in the doorway, the uncomfortable way only I would know how too.

"I have flowers," Parker then said, killing the silence that had taken us captive.

"Oh, thank you," I said, taking the red roses from his grip. Huh? I didn't even notice the flowers or his nice black suit that seemed to complement his smooth gray fur…_Stop it! You're sizing him up as if you like him!_

But what if I did? Size him up, I mean. It's not like he wasn't doing the same to me…But I wasn't thinking about physical attractions or feelings. I was going on a date. That was it.

I turned toward my apartment, shrugging my shoulder for him to follow. "Come on in."

"Alright."

_Shit._ Didn't I say that I wasn't going to invite him in because I didn't want to risk anything that wasn't rated PG from happening? God, was I really that dense?

"She's staring at me…" Parker then said out of nowhere. I spun around, trying to see the target of his uneasiness. _Huh?_

It took me a while to realize that he was talking about Blaze. I forgot she was still here. I guess I did become more dense than usual wherever there was an influx of testosterone. Oh, I could hear the feminists yelling at me now…

However, I shrugged my shoulders to these thoughts, choosing to place the flowers in a green vase on the kitchen counter.

"She's a cat. That's what they do best," I explained, with another blunt shrug. My eyes then darted against her ember ones. "Especially when they're being overprotective."

I was expecting Blaze to respond somehow, but all I could see was how the news didn't seem to unease him. It wasn't shocking. I mean, the way that she was looking at him—all concentrated and unwavering—would even have Silver in a frightened tizzy. Even I was uncomfortable.

Well, more so than usual.

Sensing the harsh silence in the air, Blaze blinked once, reminding us that she was in fact alive, and not the gargoyle I was beginning to take her for.

"What?" she then called out to no one in particular. "I haven't see him yet."

She walked forward toward him, somehow studying him even closer than she had before. "He's a cutie."

_Cutie?_ Parker couldn't help but smile. I, on the other hand, was holding my breath, wondering where the hell she was going with this. She complemented by date. Was that good? Bad? The whole scene was just a little bit too bizarre for my liking. But I guess there wasn't a reason to fret just yet.

"But if he wants to be a keeper, he better treat you right. Doctor or not, I don't care who he is-"

"Blaze!" God, if this night wasn't awkward enough, here she was, Mom bitching all over the place…

"_Thank you_. But I can take it from here." I began to shoo my ferocious feline friend into the doorway.

"If you're sure…" Blaze said, her glance still hitting Parker's form.

"Couldn't be anymore."

Stopping along the door frame, Blaze's gaze met mine before turning toward Parker. "Okay, I _get_ it. I've over stayed my welcome."

"You invited yourself in!" I whispered to her frantically. Well, that was Blaze for you. A polite young lady when she wanted to be and mom when you let her be.

I exhaled the stress in the air. "Seriously, thank you. For everything. But I'll be okay. No secrets, remember?"

She nodded. "Very well. Just make sure to live up to your side of the bargain. I don't want to play anymore games with you Amy."

"Good. I'm too tired to play them," I countered, forcing a small grin on my face. "But please leave."

The feline rose her hands up in defense, allowing a polite smile to grace her lips. "_Okay_. Have fun, kiddies."

With a wave, mother dearest disappeared. And I was left to fend out my first real date on my own.

"She's nice," Parker then said, coming to my side. Although it was hard to tell whether he was being sarcastic, I realized that either sense was fitting. I let him escort me out of the apartment.

"That's Blaze for you."

* * *

And that's the end of this chapter. I promise the date will occur in the next one.

Bye now!

~KB


	8. The Sweetest Thing

On vacation, but of course I love you all enough to update. :)

Of course, don't expect there not to be typos. There will be typos.

Anyway, hope you are enjoying everything so far. I'm almost done writing the story, and I think it's pretty decent.

So yeah, read on.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own the SEGA characters I'm using. I do own Parker. He's _mine_.

* * *

Chapter 8: The Sweetest Thing

"So tell me about yourself."

This was the one sentence I was dreading to hear. I mean, everything else was set up perfectly. We were at Olive Oil, the uber trendy, upscale Italian restaurant that I never had any business going to, till now. They had an _actual_ vegetarian menu. The shiraz wine they had tasted like _love_, even though, let's be honest, I had a little trouble telling what love really was under my circumstances, but it was delicious nevertheless. And I had managed_ not_ to stay anything downright depressing or stupid.

Then he asked _this_.

And as I sat here, across from him in a crowded, yet subdued restaurant, I knew that I couldn't escape this. I couldn't escape the interested look in his gorgeous royal blue eyes, nor could I escape the harshness in the atmosphere, as the jazz band that was playing earlier apparently decided to take a break. This added to the uncomfortable silence between the two of us. Why couldn't I just _say _something_-_

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to-"

"No, it's just that I don't know what to say without coming off as a huge loser," I interjected, waving a hand dismissively in the air. I could only smile back awkwardly. It's a shame really. I used to have way more confidence than this. I guess that was before reality decided to murder my ignorance. Oh, those were good deluded times…

Parker placed a hand affectionately over mine. As if true to his profession, his touch had almost a medicinal quality, as I could feel myself calm down and my back straighten out. _Men..._

"It's okay. No judgment," he insisted. "How about I tell you about myself first?"

I nodded to that as the waiter brought out some rolls.

Parker looked up at the high, black ceiling as if to generate thought. "Well, then. I'm a gynecologist, if you didn't already know. I grew up in this area with my two younger sisters and my rents…my dad owns a bar, McAlister's is the name, in case you didn't know that either…"

I couldn't help but smile slightly, feeling almost all of my tension evaporate into thin air. "Very insightful. But I'm afraid I'm not nearly as interesting." Try interesting in the most pathetic sense. But once again, I wasn't going to go there.

"Well that's a start."

I nodded. "I'm Amy Rose, I am twenty-three. I live by myself, and I like the color red," I started off, feeling a bit like this was a childhood game. "I plan on going to law school in the fall, if that counts."

"Certainly. Are you planning on staying in the area?"

I nodded. "Yeah, just the local college, University of Knothole. Nothing special," I said, taking a small sip of the lovely wine. Parker nodded.

"That's really good. Doctor and lawyer, we'd make a great combination."

I grinned harder, forgetting why I was ever nervous in the first place. "I guess we would."

What if we did mount to something? As great as Parker was coming off, it was a weird feeling—love or affection or admiration—whatever this was. I was realizing now that I couldn't call my brief stint with Scourge love, no matter how good it felt. I don't know, maybe with trying to be numb, I had forgotten what feelings meant, if that made sense. What the hell _did_ I feel for Parker? Maybe I was doing that annoying thing where I was trying to jump to love based conclusions too fast—but it was slightly unsettling. I was supposed to feel _something_. I liked the way he looked, yes. But was my unpleasant track so far making me reluctant to feel anything? Let alone decode the minor emotions I may have been feeling now?

"Well then, how have your relationships been so far?"

And then it was back. The feeling that I could pass out with the way my mind was surging. Why would he even ask that?! I blinked a couple of times, trying not to stare him down. _Seriously?!_ He met me thinking that I was alone and pregnant. Doesn't take Einstein—especially not a doctor—to know that my relationships were more like relation_shit_.

My cheeks heated up—not from nervousness or embarrassment, but from being truly flabbergasted. _What the fuck?_

Language. Calm down with the mental, condescending language. I glanced at the terracotta table cloth. On the same table was wine. I took the glass to my lips and gulped down the maroon-colored sucker like I hadn't seen water in weeks. I closed my eyes, tasting the numbing liquid at the back of my tongue. I didn't need these questions. Not right now. Not ever.

I rose up from my seat quickly, my eyes darting across the restaurant to formulate some sort of pathetic excuse to leave. And preferably never come back.

"Pardon me; I have to go to the restroom."

"But-"

I shrugged my shoulders before rushing off in another direction, trying not to look desperate to flee from him. But it wasn't him. It was his relentless questioning. I mean, I was still delicate. Shouldn't he have known better than to prey on my unhealed emotions?

Before I could follow this thought further, I stumbled upon the ladies' restroom in all of my bewildered glory.

I pushed through the door, walking slowly into a smaller Tuscan styled powder room that opened into the restroom stalls. I sighed, taking in the absent environment that seemed to be a world in its own—shut off from the relaxed, buzzing atmosphere of the dining area.

Peace. I just wanted my sanity to be in check tonight, but I suppose that also was too much to ask for.

I sat down on a day bed which seemed out of place in a bathroom, but I guess it just showed the caliber of the restaurant Parker had taken me too. And instead of enjoying my date, here I was, in a nicely decorated bathroom.

It wasn't fair to him to be acting like this. But I guess it wasn't fair for him to be trying to catch me off guard. I mean, I'd been through enough—and he should have at least been somewhat aware of my circumstance. I rose to my feet and began to pace the marble floor. Like it or not, I still had to go out there. Because as far as I could see, this particular restroom lacked a window for me to escape from. I scoffed. It's not like I _would _attempt that. After all, I left my purse at the table.

Silly Amy.

But unless I wanted to be hopelessly-alone Amy, it was probably my best bet to go join him and resume whatever state our date was in.

I took an objective glance in the mirror. I was fine. And I was going to have a fine time. Right after I tell Parker to cut it with his serious questions. I preferred my delusion, thank you very much. But first, I ironically had to pee. I ventured further into the labyrinth-like bathroom to reach one of the stalls.

"Is it really necessary to put on _more_ make-up, Rouge?"

_Rouge? _I froze in place, my eyes focused on the peach-colored stall door in front of me as my ears focused on the voice that was the source of this noise. _Sally._ I rolled my eyes, trying to wonder whether to feel disturbed by their unexpected presence, or just mad at everything. So much for having a _fine_ time. Cause that's just _too_ much, right?!

Unfortunately reality had that annoying way of making my already dismal life even more comical for everyone that wasn't me.

Thanks, universe.

"Look, Princess, there's no such thing as too much makeup. Plus, I'm a natural beauty. I just came in here to pee."

"Then why did you tell the others you had to powder your nose?" Sally questioned back. _The others?_ My left ear was now perched against the stall door. I heard their heeled footsteps walk in the opposite direction of other stalls. I breathed a sigh of mild relief. If I didn't say anything I wouldn't blow my cover. But that didn't answer my question.

"Because telling men that you have to pee isn't sexy. In fact, it's proven to lower their libido."

I gritted my teeth in order to prevent from breaking out in a giggle. I'm sorry, but that was funny. Even though I wasn't too sure if she was telling the truth. I sighed. My doctor date would probably know. And even though I wasn't too ecstatic to join him, it was a far better alternative than this. Being trapped in a bathroom. Even if it was a very nice bathroom that smelled like an Italian sunset. Point is, I wanted the hell out.

But I was a victim of a stereotype now confirmed true. Girls took _forever _in the bathroom.

I sighed, as I rested my head against the same door. How long had I been in here? 15, 20 minutes? I hadn't even ordered my food. Which didn't matter that much in retrospect because I was in too much of a bothered haze to care—but what about Parker? If he didn't think I was a mess before, 20 minutes alone with his thoughts had probably drawn him to this conclusion.

But it's not like the date was going that well to begin with. I just thought that at the very least, it could have been _fine_.

The sound of a flush rang like celebratory church bells in my ears. Hallelujah. I perked up, my body filling with both relief and anxiety.

I heard the sink faucet run, some tossing of the hair, and some more clatter against the floor. "How do I look?"

"Like a million bucks—let's go, the guys are waiting," the princess urged on, as I finally heard the door, and collective chatter of the restaurant's dining hall, open into the restroom.

Rouge scoffed. "I prefer a million gems." The door closed. And I was free. Well, fre_er_.

Because now I had to plan my escape. I had no idea where they were sitting, but since there were more than the two of them, it was a safe bet to assume that their group was eating in a booth, which seemed to be more towards the left of the restaurant. And Parker and I were toward the right.

I nodded once, before starting out of the door, crouching slightly as I maneuvered to make sure that I saw them before they saw me if things unfortunately had to come to that. So far so good, however. I was halfway to my table, in what seemed like a corny spy movie. The only thing that was missing was appropriate spy theme music. I guess I'd just have to settle for soft jazz and the occasional light opera playing above me.

To act further in my aid, there was a long stretch of wispy plants that separated the bathroom from a line a tables. With a small breach, in plantation, I couldn't help but see _them_ as I ducked down further, studying their table. They were slightly off in the horizon, a few booths before the window. Consisting of Rouge and Sally, they hadn't forgotten to bring their favorite accessories—boyfriends Knuckles and Sonic. Or fiancé, in Rouge's case. My ears twitched, adjusting to pick up their conversation.

"I don't know. How about the champagne cloth? Or would you prefer the burgundy?" Sally said, as I could see her hold up swatches of the cloths. Rouge shook her head.

"No. Not dazzling enough," she said, dismissing the options with a wave of her hand. "What do you think Knuxie?"

There was a grunt, and then a sigh. "Whatever you want-"

"Are you saying I have to do everything myself?" the bat turned to him, giving him the evil eye.

"Of course not, you have me, remember?" Sally intervened.

"Thanks, sugar."

"How about you just paint the whole thing purple?" Sonic said this time, clearly joking. Rouge gave a somewhat contemplative look before smiling.

"I like it."

I rolled my eyes lightly, wondering why I hadn't moved on—physically and mentally. Seeing them like that, all double-dating and happy still bothered the hell out of me. Why couldn't I just go enjoy my date?

When a waiter came up to their table to give them their meals, I knew that I had exhausted my little viewer party. After all, I'm pretty sure that some of the diners were looking at me suspiciously. I rose up from my crouch and started for my table.

When I finally made my way back, Parker was putting his phone back into his pocket. He was probably on call. And here I was, wasting his time…

He glanced up, impartial blue eyes meeting mine. "Long time no see." He flashed a grin.

I smiled weakly before resuming my place in my seat. "Sorry about that."

He shook his head lightly. "You're fine. But since the waiter was getting a little bit testy, and you said you are a vegetarian, I ordered the squash ravioli. Hope you don't mind."

I nodded. "I had my eye on that anyway. Thanks."

His smiled intensified. "You know, I almost thought that you escaped from the window," he said, playing with a breadstick in his hand. "Not the first time its ever happened…"

My eyes widened. "_Really?_" God, if I wasn't feeling bad before…

"No," he reassured me in a lighter tone, probably amused that I fell for his joke. "But there have been times I've wanted to."

I pursed my lips lightly, contemplating whether or not to take another sip of my wine glass that had miraculously filled itself. But I didn't need him to think I was a mess _and_ an alcoholic. "Well then, how about tonight?"

Parker took a sip of his water, a very serious expression settling on his face. "Too soon to tell."

I couldn't help but laugh at his comment. Although it did make me wonder what type of impression I was making. He seemed okay. And now that I wasn't being held captive in a bathroom stall, things were definitely looking up.

"Here are your orders," the waiter then said, placing our meals on the table. Good. Now that the night had calmed down, I was actually hungry. "Can I get you two anything else?"

We shook our heads in unison. The waiter smiled. "Well then, _godetevelo_."

There was a bout of silence as we ate, but that was okay. I had delayed the date long enough and it was reasonable by now to be more hungry than eager to know more about each other. Cause that part of the date went well, right?

However, about halfway through his shrimp fettuccini, Parker rose up suddenly, before facing me. I looked up at him with my mouth full of ravioli. Blaze would be ashamed of my lack of ladyness…

"Look, I'm sorry about questioning you like that earlier. Now that I think about it, it was practically like I was interrogating you…"

Try killing my already diminished spirits. But I was okay. He wasn't out of bounds or anything. It was all in the presentation.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong," I assured him, despite my better judgment to completely call him out for it. But to be honest, I don't really know why I was specifically bothered by it. "I guess I was just being a bit sensitive."

This was true. I need to just get over everything. It's not like I had the power to change anything. And even if I did, I didn't know if I would.

He shook his head. "It still doesn't excuse my behavior. I'm sorry. I suppose I was just curious about everything. It's sort of like you said, I asked you on this date without knowing anything about you other than the fact that you are on good terms with my father.

"But thinking back, I didn't mean to rush you into this, especially if you were just with someone else. I didn't even ask if you were in some sort of other relationship which is was very inconsiderate of me-"

"Parker, you're _fine_." I said, actually meaning it this time. "I was in a relationship before, but it's over, and quite frankly, I don't even want to think about it." New plan: I was blocking out my past and looking toward the future. At least I could do something about it.

"But thank you for getting me out of my comfort zone, even if it has been nonexistent for the past few months," I joked, before my eyes settled against his. He smiled. "And what do you know? Despite what happened, maybe it was a good thing that whatever happened in the past happened. I probably wouldn't have met you."

He nodded. "Yes, to think that a doctor's visit would have led to this." He put a hand affectionately over mine before his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

I blinked a few times. "Is everything okay?"

"Don't look now, but a group of people are coming toward us. They look anxious."

_What the?_

"Well, well, _well_. What do we have here? Amy's on a lil' date!" Rouge said, clasping her hands. Damn it, I was caught. And I was pretty sure that I had no means of escape. _Shit._

"Rouge…what brings you guys here?" I countered back, oh-so smoothly. I was trying to pretend that I hadn't seen them from earlier.

"We were just leaving and the entrance happens to be this way," she offered, her eyes inspecting Parker in a manner I'm not too sure a fiancée should be doing. She walked toward him. "Who's you're _man_?"

"He's not my man," I tried to say matter-of-factly. But with the others staring at me so intensely, it was hard to keep a straight face. Or deliver a straight answer. I inhaled, hoping to get rid of the harsh awkwardness in the air. No way was I going to unravel in Rouge's teasing hands. "This is Parker. Parker, these are my friends."

He nodded a couple of times. "Pleasure to meet all of you."

"Don't know if I can say the same thing," Sonic interjected this time. I sighed. Who told him to play overbearing dad? I mean, just because I wasn't interested in him anymore didn't mean that he had to be interested in male I was simply talking too. Even if my relationship with Scourge consisted of far more than talking…

"Sonic…"

"What? Don't get me wrong, Ames. I just wanna make sure he's not another loser." I rolled my eyes. _So I date losers now?_

"He's not," I replied with a sigh, a bit too tired of confrontations to fight back. "Parker is a doctor."

The possum nodded. "In fact, Amy's one of my new patients."

My eyes widened as I stared back at Parker who seemed pretty content with his response. _Not helping! As if they needed another excuse to think something's wrong with me!_

"New patient? What is he talking about Ames? What did you go to the doctor's for?"

_Um, how about none of your business!?_

By now, Parker had realized that he had said some wrong things. He took a sip of his wine. Now I had the burden of silence placed on my shoulders as the group gave me a collective look that seemed to scream for an answer. _Play coy._

I shrugged my shoulders. "Oh, you know. Just a standard checkup." I _guess_ you could call it that.

Sonic glared at me as I tried to sit my ground, unflinching.

"I don't believe you," he said after a while, his face inching closer to mine. My eyes narrowed.

"I don't care."

Our staring match continued. Probably feeling like she was losing her claim on her boyfriend or some type of self-aware crap like that, Sally pulled Sonic away from me.

"Okay, how about we all just leave you two on your date? Have fun okay?"

"Oh, we will," I replied rather smugly, though in Sonic and Rouge's direction. "Bye."

"_Toodles_," Rouge said, her eyes bouncing with an uncomfortable level of amusement. I wrinkled my nose.

"Bye." The princess waved as Sonic trudged somewhat reluctantly behind her and the others.

"Just be safe," Sonic offered. And then they disappeared out of the restaurant. The venom in the air vanished. Good riddance.

I took a sigh of relief before taking a long gulp of my wine. I looked at Parker. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. They're just friends being friends."

Try everything _but_ friends. But what could I do?

I guess I had to enjoy the rest of this date. Instead, I took another swig of my wine that was beginning to lose its bliss-producing quality, while studying Parker's expression from the corner of my eye. He was still smiling politely as he watched the jazz band that had resumed their play. But underneath the friendly façade I knew that this night had been somewhat irksome to him. That _I_ had been irksome.

But isn't that what I do best? Irritate people until they just leave? Two had already done that. What made me think that he was an exception?

Maybe that's why I didn't want to go on this date in the first place.

I knew he wasn't.

* * *

We left soon after the awkward encounter. I didn't have cheesecake.

He parked his car in front of my apartment complex. We walked underneath the moonless sky in silence. I didn't know what to say. Sure, we didn't have a _bad_ time, but it was one of those types of situations that could be better categorized for what it wasn't rather than what it was.

Walking out of his car, uncomfortable silence seized us. Skimmed across the pebbled pavement in a slow march, not desperate to make the night last any longer, but rather in contemplation of what this meant. And the expressionless sky, stripped from its stars offered no light in this situation.

We were in front of my door. I pursed my lips in contempt. Time was up. We had reached no conclusion. And I hated that it seemed like my life never had one. It was always a sporadic continuation of events I could never hope to control. But I could still try.

"Thanks for the date, Parker. But-"

His arms pulled me into an embrace. His lips met mine simultaneously. After my eyes popped out of my previously distressed sockets, I sealed them. Letting myself merge with him, I curled my arms around his neck, forcing my mouth wider. I wanted to feel _it_. To feel the love, or whatever type of affection you are supposed to feel. Instead I became dizzy; the sensation of my heart throbbing through my chest was too much. This was too much.

I released with a small huff, my eyes glazed over in a winded stupor.

Parker gazed down at me, panting lightly. "Did you feel that?" The absence of his smile worried me.

All I could do was look at him back, unblinking, slightly agape.

"Crap." He shook his head. My silence had spoken my bewildered behalf.

He bit the side of his lip, although he didn't look mad or defeated. His mouth then flickered into a grin. And I could finally breathe again.

"Listen, Amy," His brows furrowed, displaying a new level of seriousness. "I would say that it's safe to say that we went on this date under casual prefixes. I like you, Amy. You are stunning and smart but-"

"You think I'm insane," I blurted out, although not too sure why I went there. I mean, there was considerate truth to that statement. I didn't want to answer his personal but reasonable questions. I hid in the bathroom for half an hour. My "friends" came and interrogated us.

Even though Parker did a pretty good job at acting like none of these things bothered him, I knew they did. It didn't take a depressed idiot (insert my name here) to realize this.

Parker shook his head. "No. No, I could never think that." His reassuring smile was back.

"I just think you are uninterested."

I blinked back at him. _Uninterested?_ "Parker…"

"I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything, but I don't think it has to do with me," he then said, his eyes studying the cherry wood grain of the door before shaking his head.

"It's like ripping a Band-Aid off an unhealed wound," he offered. I nodded in consideration, although I was somewhat tempted to roll my eyes. Leave it to the doctor to make a medical related analogy. But it was an appropriate connection.

"I know I came off too strong to night—I should have known better. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable tonight, Amy."

Apologetic eyes met mine and I didn't know what to make of it. Or him. Tonight.

My mouth parted to say something that would complement his words. But the inner demon that had been so great at seizing my thoughts had now figured out how to prevent me from vocalizing them.

Parker sighed, at ill with my ruthless silence. "It seems like you still have some issues to resolve."

To this I did roll my eyes too. Even if this was accomplished mentally. _Issues._

I tried not to scoff. I _wish_ I had issues. Just like I wished that I just bothered by the fact that all my friends were in relationships while I withered alone. In fact, screw my friends and their relationships. I wish that "being back to normal" was not a time when I was chasing down Sonic, spitting out marriage proposals like a delusional school girl. And even with reality slapping me like a bitch, I still felt delusional.

I wished that if Scourge really had to dump me the why he did, that he would have at least told me why.

_Issues._

Life crisis was more fitting.

"I know," I admitted after a while. But knowing didn't solve the problem. And if he wasn't going to, it would be best if he just left. "Thanks anyway for the date."

He nodded, pressing his lips in straight line. "You're welcome. I'm sorry I can't really help with your disputes. I think you just need time. Then you'll be fine."

And there was that four lettered word that hated me. There was no way I would be fine. Even with time. No. I was stuck in one of those personal holes that I and I myself had to dig myself out of, and I was completely drained of my energy.

"Sure," I said, taking in his words that seemed to be more like a diagnostic of my dismal mentality. My cheeks, by contrast, perked into a smile. Maybe some happy vibes my waves would make him feel less bad so he would leave. And then I could be left to my pitiful peace in my hole. "Good night, Parker."

"Good night, Amy." He straightened his suit jacket. "Just remember, if you ever want to talk, my ears are open, and I'll listen objectively."

I nodded as he began to walk off. "Thanks, see you later."

"See you." He started for the stairs before stopping. "When dad asks what went wrong I'm just going to say that I you broke it off with me because you didn't like my hair, kay?" He started laughing.

I scoffed, although finding his laughter to be contagious. "Oh, _whatever! _Good night."

"Good night."

As I watched him walk off before opening my door to my apartment, it was safe to say that I was in a better mood than I thought I would be following this date. But that didn't mean that I was on cloud nine.

Like the other two romantic encounters in my life, it was sad to see that this one—despite the limited feelings I had toward Parker—didn't have a different conclusion. I knew I there was no reason to be bothered by this. But I could feel those destructive feelings take over—the ones where I felt hopelessly unwanted. It was a bit sad that I relied on others to give me purpose, but it wasn't like I was the only one. Nope. I was just the only one losing this battle of outwardly affection.

I sighed, flicking my slip-on stilettos off of my feet, in the direction of my closet, just missing the doorway. I sighed again. I was so over this. I didn't want to care anymore.

The tough realities of my life were hard to swallow.

Especially when I was choking.

* * *

Now wasn't that interesting?

I really like this story and I'm glad I can share it with you all. Thanks for supporting and reviewing this project. It means the world to me.

Now back to vacationing! Adios amigos!

~Kosma B


	9. Miss Independence

'Ello.

So I'm back and ready to rock. Been a little bit of time since I've updated, but that was because I was finishing the story! It's done!

Not really. But it's _almost_ done. I expect it to be a little longer than the preceding work, which means I have about 3-4 more chaps ahead of me. Goodie.

But in honor of that, and in an effort to make things more interesting, I'm offering a little contest. Well, two.

I have a character that will appear a little later, but I have no idea what her name should be. She's snarky, has some sass (she's_ not_ Rouge) and will be very important to Amy later on. (Hint: she's a law student.) So what's her name and species? Your pick. Maybe more than one winner. Winner(s) receive the ability to ask me whatever question they want about the series (or even me!), or I'll write ya a little story. Please review, but feel free to PM your response as well. Many will enter, few will win. ;p

**Disclaimer: **I do not own SEGA. So yeah, let's move on.

* * *

Chapter 9: Miss Independence

Rejection

Contrary to what constant losers say, it felt worse the third time.

So, like all bitter females who wished they had a far sweeter outcome in life, I went to the only place that could perhaps reduce my aggression toward the opposite sex and romantic encounters in general.

The library.

_Yay, single nerds._ Only I couldn't even have that. Every couple in the universe was here, probably cramming for finals. Because studying with your boyfriend _wasn't_ totally distracting, right?

But I wasn't right about anything. At least not anything so far. I wasn't going to go on the "here's a list of everything that went terribly wrong in my life" spiel, but it just seemed like something was off. It had to be impossible for my life to be _this_ devastatingly random.

I was hoping that books would give me stability. All stacked and well organized, the library was definitely what I needed in life—structure. Of course, I had no idea how this environment was going to help with my personal life, but I guess I was just hoping that a change in scenery would change the direction of my life.

And it may have been far-fetched, but at least it was better than wallowing in my pity. Nope, I was supposed to get people out of theirs. Yup. That's why I was going to be a lawyer.

Because I needed a distraction, right? Most of the gang decided to settle down now that Eggman wasn't a constant threat and the world seemed less complicated. A life of leisure was supposed to be our reward.

But I was still restless. And I was beginning to worry that nothing would be able to relax me. I mean, I couldn't even go to the library without mentally lashing at innocent students.

I sat down at a table in the far corner of the University of Knothole library. It was darker here. Quite and lonely here. Setting my things down, I stretched, studying the window to my right. I was three-stories above the world, and the people on it looked like small, animated dolls.

Unaffected. That's what I was trying to be. That's why I was here. I didn't want to sulk in my misfortune anymore.

I know that things didn't work out with Parker. But it's not like I expected it to. It's not like I even wanted it too. Maybe I was done with Scourge—whether I wanted to be or not—but that didn't mean that I _had_ to go with the next guy who offered his hand.

Pickiness. I was persistent, but now that I thought about it, I wasn't picky. Sonic was just a guy who had rescued me a couple times in my youth. I fell in love with him. Scourge was just a bad boy who offered me a ride home. I gave myself to him. Parker was just a doctor.

I pursed my lips. I messed up, didn't I? He was the handsome prize, wasn't he? And I threw him away. But I wasn't interested. Was I? I don't think it was too late to change my mind if I wanted to be with him. He _was_ a great kisser...

I shook my head. Independence. I had to be independent. I was just hard, convincing myself that _choosing_ to be by myself wasn't the same as being alone.

I tapped my fingers against the oak desk, struggling to stay focused. But I had nothing. Nothing that I wanted to study at least. I had some undergrad law texts with me, but they couldn't hold my interest. You all know what did.

Love. And it was a shame. How I was a shame—I mean. My potential had been lost over the years. I mean, I saved the world as a teenager. The universe. Why was love my greatest adversary?

My eyes trailed the crowded library space. Fat Mobians were holding hands with skinny Mobians. Ugly Mobians were lip-locking with attractive Mobians. At the library.

I knew I was a catch. I was pleasant. Pretty. I smelled nice. So how come I had be in the same situation all over again? A rotting rose while love bloomed in the air?

There was a loud laugh that pierced through the air, followed by an exasperated shush by the librarian. I rose from my chair. Enough of this undergrad nonsense. I was going to be a law student. I deserved better studying conditions.

Gathering my books, I started for the elevator to the Law Library. Part of me wondered if it would be better for me to just go home. Studying wasn't the distraction I thought it would be. And frankly, I didn't mine being alone—_independent_—at my apartment. At least I didn't have to hide my feelings.

It was funny though. The idea of being a lawyer. Part of me also wondered why I wanted to pursue that field. The others were practically in retirement. We had gotten college degrees so that no one could call us uneducated, and decided the live life to the fullest. We deserved it, didn't we?

Apparently I didn't, or I wouldn't be alone. But I was trying not to wallow in my own self-pity. At least for a day.

I pressed the down button and tapped my foot lightly against the tan carpet. Nothing would have prepared me for what the doors opened to.

"Tails?" I uttered, though more annoyed than shocked. I just wanted peace. And he was probably going to yell at me for yelling at his girlfriend. Then I would yell at him back.

"Hi, Amy," he replied simply, his blue eyes shifting to his bag before settling on me. "There was a breach in the university's electronic server. I'm here to fix it."

If only he could fix my miserable life.

"Anyway," he began, with a slight wrinkle of his nose. "What brings you here?"

"Just studying," I said, nodding once. It was nice to see that he was calm. I needed calm. "I'm heading out though now."

"Me too," he offered, as the elevator's lips closed in on us. "I have to go to the physics building."

"I was actually heading to the law building," I said. "I think it's on the same way."

"It is." He nodded. "Let's walk."

So we did. And it was weird. Tails has grown into a young man, though I wondered by it was so unsettling. He was only three years younger than me, but somehow he seemed to be three times more mature than I was. It could have been his height. Or the fact that he had like four Ph.D's.

It was the degrees.

"So," he said. "How are you feeling? Cream said-"

"Cream doesn't have to worry about anything." I offered a grin. "I'm doing decent, considering everything."

I felt that I was. I mean, everyone else only had little tid-bits of what had actually happened. That alone—that Scourge had left me, and I was spiraling into a hole of my own miserableness—could justify my moodiness. If they knew the rest?

I wouldn't know what to do with myself. At least more so.

"That's good to hear," he said, nodding again. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened. And I hope that me being sorry doesn't irk you."

I lifted a brow. "What?" The question came out as a strained laugh.

Tails shrugged his shoulders and I could see Sonic's influence on the refined young man. "It's annoying to have people pity you, am I not right? It's like working on the engine for the X-Tornado for three hours only to realize that the problem was with wing stability."

I puckered my lips, not quite sure that I followed.

Tails rolled his eyes. "Um, not the best analogy—What I meant to say was that when people think that a certain thing is wrong with you, in this case you being sad that Scourge deserted you, I assume, sometimes it distracts you from the real problem."

_The real problem? _I blinked rapidly, actively searching my mind to make sense of his words. But I couldn't.

"What do you mean, Tails?" I wished that my voice didn't sound so frantic. So desperate. But wasn't I?

Tails shook his head, the expression in his eyes undetectable in the late-afternoon shadow that blanketed us. I didn't know that Tails could appear so dark. Discrete. But little Tails had grown up. He was a man. And they all seemed to carry their secrets in the dark.

"I mean exactly what I said." He started for the physics building, some thirty feet away. "I really hope you can make sense of it." There wasn't pity in his tone, though I wished the answer was in it.

"Bye."

"C'mon!" I called after him, with a stomp of my foot. "Don't go all Yoda on me!"

But he had disappeared. And I was making a scene.

With an irritated huff, I secured my bag over my shoulder. I started in a march toward the parking lot. Forget learning. I wasn't the type of person who could play ignorant when there was an elephant in the room. Ignorance wasn't bliss. And the elephant in the room was my emotional stability. Which wasn't particularly stable.

I didn't want to be affected. But I was. And until I was _un_affected, I knew that I couldn't focus on anything. Other than everyone who seemed to have everything that I wanted in life.

I was stupid. I was supposed to be strong—able to brush off something so trivial. But I was Amy Rose.

And Amy Rose didn't back down from a challenge.

* * *

So I went to the only person I knew that could help me. I was at Cardin Falls again, and I knew that this wouldn't be easy.

I was talkative by nature. But when I was a teenager, I was very good at reporting the obvious. Talking about things that everyone already knew wasn't hard. It didn't hurt.

Now, I was prepared to spill everything. I didn't want to, but I was prepared.

Knocking on Blaze's door, I wondered whether or not what I was doing was wise. I mean, she wanted to know the truth. I wasn't against telling it if it could get me closer to solving Tail's convoluted puzzle.

Blaze knew me better than anyone else. So much so that it could be frightening. She was the one who told me to become a lawyer, after all.

"_You know, you could do a lot more with that mouth of yours," Blaze had said, before lifting a heavy box to her counter. We were in her apartment. She had just moved in, and I took it upon myself to help her. Though I didn't completely know why. _

_Although we were friendly because of the similar friends we kept, I didn't know what to make of her words. Was she making a blatant observation? Or was she trying to spite me?_

_I chose to shrug off her words with a smile. "Like what?" I did have some other choice words for her, but I didn't want to set her off. She could burn me alive. _

_Her lips pressed in a straight line as she pulled out some carefully wrapped mugs from the container. "I don't know? _Not_ tell us your wedding plans with Sonic every waking second? Are you two even dating?"_

_I pouted, bringing in a box from the kitchen. "If you say something long enough, it's bound to happen."_

_Blaze scoffed, though it wasn't an angry one. "Wrong. It takes action. Does a lawyer just say that they want their client to be free? Then cross their fingers and pray it'll happen?"_

"_Probably," I said, using a hand to brush my bangs in place. "And what does that have to do with anything?"_

"_Nothing, I suppose." Her eyes were on mine now. "I guess lawyers are a little bit better than you though."_

"_How?" I couldn't hide the offense in my tone. I get it. We weren't friends. So I guess she didn't have to spare her feelings or observations. But I was still helping her, wasn't I? Was she trying to get rid of me?_

"_All I'm saying is that if you want a man, you're actually going to have to appeal to them-take action."_

"_Easy for you to say." Silver was hers by day one. Did she even have to try? Did _she_ even have to take action?_

"_Then be a lawyer." Her tone was serious, but her face was light. Like she could have been smiling if she wanted to. _

_I parted my lips to say something, before closing them. Be a lawyer? As much as I wanted to fight back, she was right. _

_It was time to start doing something useful._

But did I? _Ever?_

It was fair to assume that although my mouth hadn't gotten me into the hole I was in now, it certainly didn't help. The true culprits were a combination of my ignorance and trusting too much.

But I could trust in Blaze. So why hadn't she opened the door?

I closed my eyes when the realization hit me. She wasn't here. She had gone out of town with Silver for the weekend. Probably to celebrate me finally getting a life. Too bad condolences were more in order.

I sighed as I stepped off of her porch. It was a bitter walk to my car. I didn't want to wait. Because I knew how happy Blaze would probably be upon her return. A weekend of bliss with her boyfriend. A friend on the road to recovering. But I had not made any real progress. And I didn't want to bum her out, even with the undetermined revelation Tails had given me.

I began to exit the neighborhood, though slower than I had entered. Things could have just worked out. Life could be easy. But it's not.

Because I was tempted. _Their_ house beckoned to me. And since I never made good decisions, I pulled into Sonic's driveway.

And then I had three decisions. Talk to Sonic. Talk to Sally. Or bolt the hell out of here. They hadn't seen me. I still had time.

But with the whole independence thing, I was trying not to be a coward. Running away was cowardly. And I was always running _toward _things.

I stepped forward, trying to forget the fact that me running toward things usually lead to my doom. It _always_ led to my doom.

But I had already knocked on the door. Pressed the doorbell. Now it was too late.

"Amy?" Sally said, although her voice sounded more tired than surprised. She stepped out of the entryway, motioning for me to come in.

"Um, hi Sally," I greeted. My eyes scanned around the space. It was weird being here. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't stepped inside this home since incident numero uno. It seemed brighter than I had left it, though the living room was cluttered with wedding arrangements.

I had forgotten Sally was Rouge's maid of honor. Just like I had forgotten Rouge was getting married in the first place.

I tried not to pout. A wedding. And I was the only one that was single. As usual.

"Would you like something to drink? Or eat?" Sally offered as I sat down on the sofa. I shook my head.

"No. Actually I wanted to talk." My eyes were serious against hers. Probably a welcomed expression to my usual depressed, distressed one. Her eyes broadened.

"Look, Amy, you don't have to apologize for anything. We get it. You need time to recover-"

"I know," I interrupted. It was annoying that everyone felt like they could put words in my mouth. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Okay," she said, trying to relax against the sofa. Even though I was in her home, she seemed on edge. Probably the stress of playing party planner getting to her. Rouge had a way of getting everyone to do her dirty work for her. Even if this was more up Sally's alley anyway. "What is it?"

I tapped my finger-tips against the plushy, leather seat in contemplation. What did I really want to talk about? That Tails had given me a crappy clue to solving my unresolved emotions? If I couldn't figure it out, how would she know what to do? Tails was Sonic's brother after all. He would probably be of more help in terms of decoding the genius's words. But I was stuck with Sally.

"I was at the library where I bumped into Tails," I said, not quite sure where I was going with this. But I had to try. "He said something about me being depressed about something other than what I seem to be depressed about because everyone else thinks I'm depressed about what should be the obvious."

I gritted my teeth when Sally gave me a funny look. _I_ didn't even know what I was talking about.

I sighed, realizing I'd have to make sense of this madness I had foolishly released into the air. "I'm not making sense, am I?" Sally shook her head. I sighed again. "Do you know where Sonic is? Maybe he'd be better at interpreting the convoluted words that come out of his brother's mouth."

"Sonic's out," she said. "He's planning Knuckles' bachelor party."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Of course, Sonic and Sally-the dream couple-were to the rescue. It didn't help that their names began with the same letter. They were perfect. And I was hopeless.

"And I think I sort of get what you're saying," Sally said, thoughtfully. "Do you know exactly what Tails said?"

I shrugged. "Pretty much what I just said. Though he gave some analogy about trying to fix an engine only to discover that the real problem is with the wings...I don't know."

Sally nodded. "That makes sense." She looked up at the ceiling as if it supplied all of the answers to the universe. Her eyes met mine. "Maybe what he's trying to say is that you being upset that Scourge leaving isn't the real problem."

I wrinkled my nose. How could it _not_ be? He left. And now the world had lost all meaning to me. Pathetic, but true.

"Then what is?" I pondered out loud. What was the problem that had been bumming me out for so long? Sally tapped her finger-tips along her chin.

"_Hmm..._" She said, thinking this through. "...How do you feel about him leaving you?"

"Awful."

She shook her head. "No, not the obvious. I mean...how do you_ feel_ about him leaving?"

"Awful."

"Amy," she warned. I gave an exasperated sigh.

"I don't know. _Heart-broken?_ Is that better your majesty?"

Irritation began to seep from the princess' form. It wasn't fair, what I was doing to her. Bargaining in her home unannounced, uninvited and sort of being a bitch about it. I was probably causing trouble between her and Sonic, too.

"Sorry," I said, softly. "It's just hard. Trying to make sense of everything."

She nodded, before capping her hand over mine. "Maybe that's it. You haven't been making sense of everything. You've just been allowing yourself to be affected."

_Affected? _I blinked a few times. "By what?"

"Him leaving."

I sighed. It felt like we hadn't made any progress. "I know that already."

"But what _don't _you know?" Sally countered. By now she had what appeared to be chiffon ribbons in her hands, as she organized them on the coffee table. She was losing interest—getting distracted by the boat load of commitments she had. And I was being a burden.

"I don't know _why_ he left," I offered, with a sigh. Sally clasped her hands.

"Maybe you need closure," she said. I slouched further into the chair.

There was a buzzing in the air—a chime from Sally's cellphone, and I knew that this little discussion was over. Rising to my feet, I offered my friend a satisfied smile.

_Of course_, I needed closure. But I knew that I wasn't going to get it here.

As Sally began to squabble with the unruly bride to be, I headed toward the door. She gave me a sorry look.

"Remember that Rouge's bachlorette party is next Friday!" she yelled to me. "Trust me, it will make you feel _much_ better about everything." Then she was back to chatting to Rouge.

I swallowed the bitterness in my mouth. "Okay."

But I was unwanted. Confused.

And trying to be independent wouldn't change that.

* * *

~KB


	10. Back to Black

Back again, amigos.

Here's another chap, as promised. And I can assure you that things get _very_ interesting...

But that's all that I'm saying.

Btw, I'm almost done with the story. One or two chapters left. Whoop!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own SEGA or any of their original characters I am currently using. Bite me.

Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 10: Back to Black

Closure.

She made it sound like it was _so _easy to obtain. That I could just magically poof Scourge right here. That maybe if we didn't get back together—even though we _technically _didn't break up—I could at least know _why_.

That I could at least move the fuck on.

But hadn't I moved on? I went on a date. With a very charming man. Who then told me I had issues. As much as I wanted to pretend that I was fine—and I guess I wasn't as bad as I was a couple of weeks ago—I knew that I was being held back by the big question mark that didn't explain why he left.

_Why?_

He didn't want anything to do with me. He let me go. So why couldn't I stop holding on?

And the worse part was that no one could supply me with the answers in his absence. Blaze cared. I was grateful to have a friend that did. So did Sally. Sonic. I knew the others did as well.

But they were almost as hopeless as myself. They could produce no hope. And I felt like a dope.

Which was why I was standing here. I knew that I had reached an almost enlightened stage of numbness. I still was miserable, but I was hoping this would be my relief.

I had to enlist in some help. Even though I knew that help didn't want me bothering them.

But I was a unwanted creature, wasn't I?

I rang the doorbell, tapping my foot impatiently against the pavement when the entryway remained closed. I mean, I knew everyone else had lives, but it felt more like everyone was avoiding me. Sadly, I would probably avoid myself too...

Door bell ringing graduated into furious knocking.

"Open up!" I yelled, not ceasing my efforts. He was in there. And maybe I was being annoying, but so was he.

"Is it too much to exercise patience?" Shadow asked, his crimson eyes sharp against mine. He looked irked off, but it was nothing new. I folded my arms.

"Aren't you supposed to be the fastest thing alive?"

The expression on his face didn't change. He lifted his shoulders in mild consideration. "There's no fire," he said. His eyes darted against mine again, his aggression simmering down. "Just you, unfortunately."

I snorted before charging though. I'm surprised that he let me pass him so easily.

"Rose, what are you doing here?"

"I want to talk."

He hissed before crossing his arms. "And what did I tell you the last time we talked?"

My glance shifted to the ceiling, which was the level of my annoyance. "I don't know?" I was pacing the living room. "_Don't return to bear your relationship issues on me? I've had enough of your nonsense?_"

He nodded to my adequate reciting of his words. "Good. Then why are you still here-"

"I don't know!" I said in a huff. "I just know that Blaze and Silver are sick of me because I'm unwelcomed presence in their house, Sonic just goes on a hate tirade by just looking at me, Cream doesn't care enough to stop texting Tails to listen to me, and Sally is too busy planning Rouge's wedding to give a damn about anything else. I have no one!"

"So, I'm your last resort?

"I guess."

"Then why are you-"

"Gah!" I curled my fingers as if to choke the hostile air around us. I didn't care. I was here. He was going to listen to me. "Didn't I just say-"

"I said you should_ leave_." I didn't know that it was possible for red eyes to appear even more intense. I shook my head, forcing myself to be undeterred.

"I thought I was_ pregnant_, Shadow!" I said, before I could realize it. I bowed my head down, feeling shame drench my body. What was I doing here? Shadow wasn't going to help me? And even if he did, what was he going to do? You couldn't find someone who didn't want to be found. Just like you couldn't mend a broken heart without closure.

He flashed me a look of what appeared to be genuine concern. Then his eyes hardened.

"I could tell you that you were doing yourself no favors by being with him in the first place, but that wouldn't be very relevant, now would it?" His glare met mine. It was hard to read him. His face was expressionless—neutral, but there was a contemplative light in his eyes. He was no longer as stiff was he was when I entered. That had to be a good sign.

"However," he began, his voice stern and critical. Not a good sign. "It seems like a man that could leave a woman at such a vulnerable state is not worth seeking."

_Seek? _I blinked a couple of times. That was it. I had to find Scourge. It might be a desperate act of closure, but I was beyond desperate. I was depressed and pitiful.

"I have to find him." My fist clenched.

"If you must," Shadow said, rather dismissively.

"But I _need _you," I said, coming closer to him. I was somewhat hoping my kind, feminine glare would melt him into putty in my hands. Men liked to be needed right? As much as I hated to depend on a male—with everything that's happened, I knew I couldn't do it myself. For one thing, it took me two months to come to the conclusion. I had been living in an almost tragic level of complacency.

Well, not any more.

"What you _need_ is to get over yourself. The sooner the better."

Ow. I gritted my teeth at his blow. He didn't mean it. He was just trying to get rid of me. Like every other man in my life. I shook my head.

"You think that I think everything is about me?" I said, my voice slightly below a yell. "Don't you think I deserve some answers? You don't just get up an leave someone as if they're worthless."

Worthless. Maybe that's how the game worked. Guy get's what he wants. Leaves. And the girl is left feeling betrayed. In my youth, Vanilla always instructed me that chastity was a girl's greatest virtue. Even though her daughter didn't quite live up to her words, I had. I was waiting for my hero.

Then I settled for the enemy.

I cupped my head in my hands. No crying. I didn't need to give Shadow another reason to think I was pathetic. I exhaled, hoping it would neutralize the hostile atmosphere. It became more acid.

Shadow's eyes narrowed. "Are you done?"

I scoffed. How the hell was I going to get through to him. I stomped my foot, feeling like I was on the verge of starting a tantrum.

"I'm _not_ leaving." I held my breath. There. I was acting like a child. But maybe I was one in spirit. Twelve-year-old me didn't give up so easily. But I _did_ have it easier then...

Shadow rose a brow, studying me with his typical unamused expression. And I was losing oxygen...

"Very well." I felt a beam of hope as I released. Before I could spill anything off of my chest, he picked me up, carrying me under his arm as if I were firewood.

"Ugh!" I grunted, trying to wiggle lose as he headed to the front door. "Just help me, dammit!"

In a rapid maneuver he placed me on my feet. "How about I don't?"

"How about you just hear me out," I said, my voice cracking. I hated being like this. Desperate. Needy. I shook off my reservations and gave him an intense look. "I just want someone to talk to that will listen to me objectively. And if there's nothing you can do, I'll just leave."

Shadow groaned. Maybe he did have compassion. "Fine. Just don't bore me with any specific details."

"Yay!" I cheered, slipping into the house. "I won't be long, I promise."

"You better not."

I wrinkled my nose at his tone, not daring to confront him about it. I was in his house. I had his ears. I had won, technically.

But the only prize of winning would be knowing Scourge's whereabouts. So I was technically still a loser.

I let my feet sink into his rug as I turned to face him on the sofa. "Do you need to be briefed on what happened?"

He wove his hand. "The green goblin left you and now you're upset. Move on with it."

I nodded. "Anyway, I was at the library yesterday-"

"Funny, I didn't know that you could read."

I gave him an irritated look. "Ha. Ha. _Ha_. Aren't you the one who wanted me to get on with it?"

"Aren't you the one who's boring me with unnecessary details?"

My finger-tips dug into the arms of the couch. "Fine. Tails basically told me that sometimes when your mad about something you're actually mad about something else. Sally hinted that I needed closure. And know you have proposed that I go find him."

"I didn't propose anything."

I shook my head. "No, but you gave me an idea. We are going to go find him."

"_We _aren't going to do anything." I could sense that I was losing him fast. His eyes were beginning burn an inconsiderate glow. And he looked angry. With me.

I huffed, causing my bangs to dance temporarily in the air. "God, how long have you been this stubborn?"

"How long have you been this annoying?"

I pouted this time, my lips straining from yelling out something vulgar. "Can you help me or not?" I said instead, my eyes serious against his. By contrast, he softened, offering me a shrug.

"I suppose I could." A small smirk found it's way on his face. "Though you'll have to ask me nicely."

I scoffed, crossing my arms. "Screw that."

"Now you're sounding like me."

"Then I'll take you're on my side," I said, allowing myself to smile. "But do you know how we could locate him? I mean, if I did I would have sought him out already..." My smile faded just as fast as it came.

"Interesting," Shadow considered, crossing his arms. "Do you have any leads?" I nodded, handing him the notes Fiona had sent me. After taking a moment to read them, he crumbled them in his hands.

"Hey!" I said as he through it into a waste basket.

"It's useless. Scourge is with her, I don't doubt that, but I seems like like he may or may not be there at his will."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think he left you because he wanted to."

Was it wrong that I felt a glimmer of hope? If he didn't leave me, then that meant that I was right to be feeling the way I was. He must have been hurting too.

But I didn't know Scourge as well as I liked.

"Yeah, but if he didn't want to leave, why did he?" I said, my tone littered with doubt. "He hasn't been in his house for two months. And it's not like he's been held captive." Or was he.

I gritted my teeth, my mind retreating to the worst possible scenario. Did Fiona take him away from me?

"I'm not saying that Fiona is holding him hostage or anything," he said, practically reading my mind. Or my pained expression. "It's quite likely that he has been back. Perhaps he's been discreet enough to not draw attention to himself."

He was right. Everything was a possibility. And in the past two months I'd only been by his house, what? Like three times?

"But if he came back, why didn't he come see me?" Maybe he didn't want to see me. I don't think I's be so keen to see him. Unless he's been trapped in a hole all this time. But I had to know _why_ he left before I even think of forgetting. Forgiving.

"I suppose you'll have to ask him."

I sighed. Somehow we had come full circle. No resolutions. No conclusions.

Shadow rose to his feet. "You're solution is simple. Find him. Get closure. Decide what you want to do from there. But in order to find him we'll have to retrieve a article of his."

I rose my brows. "Um, what will that do?"

"It will give us a reading on his whereabouts when we use my chaos emerald." He brushed a hand through his striped quills. He closed his eyes in a groan. "Well we _were_ going to do that, but it appears that the faker has taken it from me.

"What?" I said, feeling my heart drop. Great. Simple solutions always had to have difficult executions, right? "_Why_?"

His eyes narrowed against mine. "Ever since you lied about me throwing chilli-dogs at his house, he's discovered the best way to vex me is to steal my possessions."

My ears dropped as well. "_Oh_. Sorry about that. But he knows that I'm the one that did it, so why is he still bothering you?"

Shadow offered me a condescending look. Right. Rivals. Any excuse to bother Shadow was still an excuse in Sonic's case.

"No matter, I'll retrieve it."

"When?"

"The bachelor party," he said, with a wrinkle of his nose. "It's at Sonic's home and I trust his guard will be down."

I nodded, though I wasn't quite satisfied with his conclusion. The bachelor party was in five days. I knew that this wasn't a time-crunched situation, but I had spent so long mopping that now that I decided to take action, I wanted everything to happen in an action-packed pace. _Was that bad? Was I being ignorant like I had been before? Because we all know how well my ignorance has served me-_

"Rose," Shadow summoned, waking me from my sorry trance. "Just focus on finding what you need."

I wanted to nod to that notion as well, but where on Mobius was I supposed to find what I needed? I didn't even know if finding Scourge was what I actually needed anymore. But it was a start, I guess.

"And where would that be?"

"Your apartment. His house. Unless his scent is still on you. You know, from _deflowering_ you and all." He was smirking.

"Shut up!" I replied with a snarl. God, was me sleeping with Scourge the _most_ absurd thing in the world? Maybe that's why everyone didn't know what to do with me. The idea was probably just as shocking as him leaving me.

But I was moving forward. With or without him.

"Okay, I'll do it. Once you relocate the emerald and I find something, we'll talk."

"Fair enough."

I offered a nod. Pulling my purse to my shoulder, I rose to my feet. "Thank you, Shadow."

I will admit that hugging Shadow was foolish, but I did it anyway. It was surprising, how he didn't flinch or curse me out for getting in his personal space or some loner bull shit like that.

When we released, I was welcomed by his usual stoic expression. Though his left eye twitched slightly. I cocked my head to the side, studying him. "Anything you have to say? "

"Don't ever hug me again."

* * *

Isn't he refreshing?

I know all of you have missed Shads. But lucky for you, he is a solid presence for the rest of the story.

You're welcome.

Thanks for reading and review like your life depends on it! Not really.

~Kosma


	11. Blame it on the Girls

It's getting to that time again.

I have to go back to college in less than a week. So you know what that means.

Rapid updating!

Expect an update everyday until Friday. I may have to overlap due to the number of chapters. I wish that I would have more time to edit, but I think the substance is good. And substance tends to be the most important. In fanfiction.

Alrighty, let's move on. The story awaits!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own SEGA or its characters that I'm very fond of using. *Sticks out tongue*

Read.

* * *

Chapter 11: Blame it on the Girls

It was settled.

I was looking for something important. So it was only fitting that I couldn't find anything.

Brushing my hand through my bangs, I contemplated this further._ Find something with Scourge's scent._ It should have been simple, considering the fact that I was so enthralled by him. But I still couldn't find anything.

At all.

I tapped my finger-tips against my cheek, feeling it heat up with mild irritation. This was suppose to be simple. But it really was like Scourge had vanished. Completely.

And they say that when something is out of sight, it's out of mind. It wasn't the case for me. But was it for him?

I shook my head, starting for my bedroom. I had memories. My eyes scanned my dim bedroom; I took to a crouch and began to look underneath my mattress. Lint.

I rose up in a huff, crossing my arms. Yes, I had only been searching five minutes but this was ridiculous! We were a _couple_. Did I really have _nothing_ of his?

Of course I didn't. The blunt, realistic part of me was remembering that we were only together for a week. _A week._

_Was I really that pitiful? _I plopped on my mattress, trying to think about where I was going with this. I thought that deciding to seek out Scourge would make me feel better, but part of me just felt like I was ripping a band-aid off of an unhealed wound—an unhealed me.

And maybe I was sounding like Parker, but he was right. I was trying to be independent, but maybe I was just being desperate.

But I also knew that I was restless. Almost beyond repair. And I couldn't work on me until I knew what really was bothering me. Uncertainty.

That only Scourge could clarify.

I rose from my position and started for the door. As pitiful as I was, I'd like to think that I could be resilient. I had been searching my apartment all this time as a distraction.

But I knew where I had to go. Even if I didn't want to.

There was a knock on the door. I thought it was a divine intervention until I realized that my life didn't work like that. No, whoever was knocking on the door was going to offer me a worse alternative.

I opened it with a gulp.

"Let's go shopping!" Cream yelled, bursting through the door. I gave Blaze a confused look.

"We're not shopping," Blaze said. "We're getting the final fit for our bridesmaid dresses."

"Final fit?" I asked, as Blaze nodded. "What about the _first_ one?"

"We've already had them," Cream said, biting into an apple from my fruit bowl. Her face spoiled. "This is mushy."

I rolled my eyes. "Then where does that leave me?"

"To try on the final dress," Blaze said, her voice passive and apathetic. "Besides, we're practically the same size. Highest thing would be some minor adjustments."

I gave her a weak nod, trying to cast away my hurt feelings. "Yeah, but I don't see why you couldn't have told me."

"To be honest, Rouge isn't so keen about you at the moment," Blaze said. "And we all know that you've been going through a lot."

I sighed, taking in her words. I wish they wouldn't act like me having problems was such a big deal. I mean it _was_, but weren't friends supposed to be reassuring? Not discluding me because I've been gloomy?

"Besides, it was _such_ a hassle," Cream began. "Rouge wanted us to wear_ club _dresses. I don't know how I kept my sanity."

I nodded. Probably because Blaze and Sally where there. I probably would have lashed out on the bat. Well, _more_ so than I did before.

"Okay," I said, pulling my purse over my shoulder. Maybe some bridal nonsense would get my mind straight for further searching. "Let's get this torture over with."

* * *

When I said dress-fitting would be worse than searching for the item-that-was-yet-to be-discovered, I may have been exaggerating.

Putting up with Rouge was the worst.

Typical to her flamboyant nature, she was doing that thing again. Where her larger-than-life gestures of twirling in her wedding dress and and striking provocative poses was annoying. Just annoying.

I sighed, shifting uncomfortably in my slightly unfitted bridesmaid dress. It was a pretty gown, it's color was a lush plum purple, it had a strapless, sweetheart neckline that was cinched below the bust. And the flowy, chiffon fabric was elegant, and sort of made me feel like a princess. It was an improvement. I usually felt like a damsel in distress.

One of the tailors came to me, examining the dress. She clasped her hands. "Why, don't you look gorgeous!" I allowed myself to smile as she tucked a pin in the back of the dress. "It's almost perfect, just needs to be taken in a little in the back."

I nodded. I hadn't realized that I had lost a little weight. Not much, but enough to celebrate under normal circumstances. But it had also caused my chest to shrink, which was the cause for the alteration.

A scowl escaped my lips. Like usual, there was nothing to celebrate. Blaze—who was also dawning the same gown—shot me a warning look at my mild look of disdain. I shrugged. I wasn't depressed anymore—so I wasn't going to force any emotions. I was borderline neutral. And that was good enough for now.

After all, I wasn't spiting at Rouge.

And as much as I sort of wanted to, I didn't want to stomp all over her moment. She was getting married. She looked beautiful.

Even though her dress looked difficult to move in, she could do so perfectly. The lace, mermaid gown had a plunged neck line that to her—and probably Knuckle's joy-showed off an ample but respectable amount of cleavage. A deep violet sash with a diamond pendant on her waist unified her with the rest of the bridesmaids.

"I'm so excited!" Rouge called out, waving her hands in the air. For a bride to be, she was acting like a child. I kind of wished I could too, but I was on a mission.

"Amy, glad to see that the gown fits," Sally said. "You look nice."

"Yeah," I said, offering a slight grin. "You too."

With a nod, she inched closer, so that her words would remain out of ear-shot. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Almost."

"Um, okay. Well, try not to let Tails' words get to you. Some fun times are ahead and I want you to enjoy them. I need to discus the party with Blaze, but smile. Life's not that bad, is it?" She pinched my hand lightly before walking off to her and the bride of the hour.

I guess it wasn't. I mean, I wanted to enjoy them too, the fun times I mean. It was just hard, with the other task I had at hand. And it didn't help that Shadow—aka the other fastest thing alive—was being all slow and patient with this. And it didn't help that I also had nothing. And that everyone seemed to be going out of their way to distract me-

"Amy!" Cream said, charging to my side. She swung my arms in the air. "Don't we look fab?" She struck a pose, sucking in her cheeks in a pout to look like a starved model. I could help but chuckle.

"Yes, Cream we look _fab_." A genuine grin graced my lips. It's weird sometimes. If life had remained the way it was before—before_ the incident_ and _this—_I'd be just as cheery as her, probably using this wedding as the perfect platform to taunt Sonic into matrimony. Not devising a plot to find Scourge.

"Just wait until the guys see us! Let's go!" She was smiling wildly. I rose a brow.

"What do you mean?"

She used her thumb to point to the west wall of the Bridal Boutique. "The two buildings are connected. The guys are at the Tux Wear-House right now. I want Tails to see it."

I was pouting again. As much fun as that sounded, I was beginning to grow bored of this. And the thought of me being sick of looking at clothes sort of scared me. But so did the convinced look on Cream's face. "Uh-"

"We'll go." Blaze came up to us with Sally by her side. "Silver can't put on a tie to save his life."

Sally giggled. "Same with Sonic."

"Wait!" Rouge called out, descending before us from her raised platform. "I'm coming too. Knux will lose it when he sees me." There was a sick gleam in her eyes.

Sally shook her head. "It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride's dress before the ceremony."

Rouge crossed her arms. "Ceremony-patrimony. If you're going, so am I." I rolled my eyes. Rouge hated being left out of all the fun. But this seemed trivial. And we were-_I was-_wasting time...

Blaze shot her a look that was the perfect combination of annoyance and worry. "Rouge-"

"Let me stay with her," I volunteered, moving to Rouge's side. "You go see your men, and we'll wait here."

"But _I_ wanna see my man..." Rouge pouted her lips in a child-like whine. I rolled my eyes again.

"You're marrying him. Isn't that enough?" More like, "You have a man. Isn't that enough?" but I was still trying to be independent. Don't ask me how that was working.

"Fair enough," Blaze said with a sigh. "We're going then."

And then the bridesmaids left. And I was left with Rouge.

Oh happy joy.

She retreated back to her pedestal, twirling around and such, with a defiant air. Bridal bliss. But with a subtle gesture of her hand, she motioned for me. I walked over to her, slightly fearing what she would say. Probably to call me out for acting like a bitch. But this was Rouge we were talking about. If she wanted to bash me, she would've done it in company.

The tailors were off, tending to other clients some several feet away. Rouge's sapphire eyes bore into mine with an unsettling intensity. "Have you gotten over Scourge yet?"

I don't know why her words caught me off guard, but they did. A small hiss escaped through my teeth, but it wasn't out of ill regard toward her. There wasn't any mock in her tone—which was both appreciated and worrying. It was an honest question. So I responded with an honest answer.

"I'd like to." But was that really honest? After all, I was looking for him. If I really wanted to forget, wouldn't I just move on?

She nodded. "That's progress, sugar. But it's probably hard to move on in your case."

"What do you mean?"

There was a sly look in her eye, but it wasn't a superior look. It was an all knowing one. She started to play with her nails, probably in an effort to downgrade her sharp conclusion. "He was your first real relationship, wasn't he?"

"Yes._ And_?" I wanted to conclude this. What had felt like innocent curiosity on her part now felt like she was trying to get to something. And I didn't feel like giving in.

She offered me a toothy grin, the corners of her lips curving in snide enjoyment at what would soon be my expense. "Did you have sex with him?"

Sex. Was that all everyone in relationships talked about? First Cream. Now her. Maybe _some_ of us were a bit more hushed about their sexual conquests.

I shrugged my shoulders, expelling every notion I had to snap at her. "Didn't you just ask me if I was over him? How does talking about our sex life help with that? I thought brides weren't supposed to bring other people down."

I half-expected the look in her eyes to become less preditorial—her ears falling, her glance quivering. But this was Rouge. Instead, she offered me small pout before her lips cracked into a smirk.

"_Sorry. _You know, you're beginning to sound a lot like Shadow," she said, still smirking. "And you don't work the depressed angle so well. So do us all a favor and just smile. It wouldn't kill you."

"Maybe it would."

"That's it," she said, taking my arm. "I'm setting you up with him."

My eyes would have popped out of my head if I wasn't so annoyed. Shadow? "Um, _no_?"

"Um, _yes_?" She mocked back. But she removed her grip, standing her ground and eying me down. "It would be _perfect_, sugar. Then we'd all be matched up. As they say, misery loves company."

It did. Even though I was pretending to enjoy my solitude, I'd rather enjoy being with someone. But I didn't want that someone to be Shadow. Hell no.

"Besides," Rouge began, curling her hair with her finger. "Maybe that's why you've been so moody. Sex deprivation will do that to you, and Scourge looks like he's great in the sack. But _Shadow_..." She bit her lip before licking them seductively. "He'll have you screaming out to _God_."

My eyes widened. I didn't know why my cheeks were heating up, but they were. And I was suddenly very grateful for my pink hue. I cleared my throat, hoping to clear the aroused air.

"Um, that's great Rouge," I said, giving her a pained smile. But I didn't think sex could fix any of my problems. _Although..._

"But I love Knux. And he's pretty good too. Just needs to slow the hell down..." With a deep laugh, she resumed playing with her dress. I wondered if she was more in love with it than the guy she was marrying.

"You can have this too one day. Real love," Rouge then said, mid-twirl. "It may seem hard. Especially since your date didn't work out."

"How did you know-"

"You wouldn't be sulking now—even if it's not as bad as it was before," she said, as if it was common knowledge. "But don't be afraid to give him another chance. Or Shadow a chance."

"What if I don't want to give anyone a chance?" I said, wrinkling my nose. I wasn't ready yet. But I was beginning to wonder if I ever had been ready. If I ever would be ready. Yet I went for it anyways.

Rouge shrugged her shoulders. "Unfortunately, the universe doesn't work like that."

And she was right. Because Shadow emerged from behind us.

"Ladies," he greeted, his eyes sharp against nothing in particular. "You look nice, I suppose."

Rouge's hands fell on her hips. "So do you, _I suppose,_" she said, mocking him. "We were just talking about you, actually."

The stoic expression on his face did not change. "Was it in good taste?"

Rouge smiled innocently. As if we weren't talking about something that wasn't, um, so innocent. "_Very_."

When his eyes met mine, I tried not to blink at him. "Uh, hi Shadow. What brings you here?"

"The others were annoying me."

I nodded. Cream was probably making out with Tails, daydreaming about their own wedding somewhere in the relatively near future. Sally and Blaze were probably talking about the bachlorette party, and the other guys were probably talking about whatever guys talked about.

"Have you found anything?" Shadow asked me. My eyes met Rouge's form briefly, which had traveled to one of the tailors adjusting her veil.

"No," I said with a sigh.

"It's been two days."

"Do _you_ have the emerald?"

"I told you, I'll be able to retrieve it at the bachelor's party at Sonic's house."

"I know," I said, placing a hand to my forehead. "It's just-"

"Look, I don't have to help you," he interjected. "If you do not fulfill your half of the bargain, naturally I'm not going to feel very compelled to keep mine."

"We had a deal." And I didn't take Shadow as a deal breaker. But I could see him being one. Was I working with another person who was just going to cross me?

"And I'm prepared to live up to it," he said. "I just don't want to see you back down."

I crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes. "Oh? So when did Shadow the Hedgehog become the _faker_?" The word tickled my tongue. But I wasn't taking them back.

He gritted his teeth before scoffing. "Just because I don't save the world with a smile, doesn't mean that I don't care."

"You sure about that?"

"I wouldn't be helping you if I didn't."

I puckered my lips at his sour words. He had a point. But so what? I had his help. When were we just going to do this? "Either way, I just want to get it over with. When can I see him?"

I hated asking. I hated feeling like another man was going to dictate my happiness. I guess it was a good thing I wasn't a feminist. But I was going to kick someone's ass if this didn't work out.

"Naturally, sometime after the wedding."

I shook my head. "No. I want to do it sooner."

"What do you propose?" He said, his crimson eyes narrowing. "That we do this on the wedding night?"

No, but somehow it seemed fitting. I'd be all dolled up. How could Scourge reject me? And Shadow wasn't one for a party. I wasn't in the mood for one either in my conflicted state. This had to be the best time.

I nodded to Shadow's subconscious notion. "During the reception. We'll pop in and pop out. Easy. Painless. And I won't waste any more of your time."

"Tempting..." He crossed his arms. "But absurd. We'll do it the following day."

"No," I pressed. "I want to do it then. Maybe afterwards I'll be able to enjoy the wedding."

"Or maybe you'll be devastated by what he has to say."

"Maybe," I considered. "But I'm not like him. I'm not going to leave and never come back."

Shadow sighed, before walking closer to me. "If you're sure."

"I'm very sure." I wasn't sure about much these days. But I just wanted to do this. Even if it would kill me. I hoped it wouldn't kill me.

"What are you guys talking about?" Rouge said from behind us, placing her hand on Shadow's shoulder. I turned around. The other girls were beginning to come into view.

"Well,_ I _was telling Shadow how much I wanted to sleep with him. You know, since he's _so_ good in bed," I said, placing my hand on his free shoulder. It was more than amusing watching his eyes widened in contempt.

"As if."

"That's the spirit," Rouge said, with a sly grin. "Calm down, Shady. There are worst things to be adored for." He rolled her eyes at her slutty notion.

"What did you tell her?"

"Nothing she doesn't know now." As the two comrades began to bicker, I let myself wander off to the rest of the girls.

Time. I wasn't a patient person. But I could be reasonable.

But being reasonable could compromise my sanity. If it hadn't already.

* * *

Review!

~KB


	12. The Long Way Home

Back again. And things get interesting.

**Disclaimer:** Me no own SEGA's characters.

* * *

Chapter 12: The Long Way Home

So it was settled. I was at his house.

Again.

The mail on the porch had been collected and the weeds were cut—confirming Shadow's conclusions of him being here. I peaked through a window. Between the blinds I could see the dark outline of furniture. I breathed a sigh of relief. So he still lived here.

Or maybe he just moved and someone else took up residence.

I shook my head, dismissing these destructive thoughts. The only way to find out was to get in.

I knew better than to knock—it would only make me upset. It would only remind me that he wasn't going to answer on the other side. But I wasn't going to bash my piko-piko hammer into his window either. No, I had retired that childish maneuver.

The house was dim and it was mid day, which meant that no one was in there. But, I did recall Scourge leaving his house dark. He was like a harlequin vampire.

A smile found its way on my face. I allowed it scatter. I didn't want to think of amusing thoughts. I mean, here I was. All desperate and contemplating how I was going to break into a guy's house to find some remnant of him. No, I wasn't breaking into his house to enact revenge or something equally bad-ass. I was going to find something that had his scent. Yup.

I _wasn't _crazy.

But I _was_ wasting time. Since I didn't want to be guilty of both vandalism and robbery, I knew that I would have to sneak in. And Scourge was a sneaky person, so we'd see how well this would go.

I walked over to the fenced in back yard. Although the gate was a little high, with a sigh I propelled myself over it. Of course, I wasn't as dainty or as agile as I was in my youth. I fell into a patch of over-grown grass, landing in an _oufph._

Rubbing my sore bottom and looking around the garden space, I noticed there was a gate-door that was left slightly ajar. I frowned._ Just_ p_erfect. _

Rising to my feet, I surveyed the area closely. Maybe I could find what I was looking for out here. My eyes found the house. The windows stared back at me blankly. Indifferently. I sighed, giving it a longing look.

I could have lived in this house. We could have had more than a week-long relationship. I mean, if I didn't care about Scourge, wouldn't I have gotten over this a long time ago? It had been over two months—getting to three. Anyone else could have dismissed the relationship. Even if it was my first one.

But maybe I was too sentimental. I cherished the little time we had together. And I don't know if I wanted more times considering what he did. But maybe if I knew why, I could move on.

But everything were could's now. No should's. No would's.

And the sooner I got this search over with, the sooner I'd have peace. I expelled my inner turmoil with a sigh, beginning to trail the yard.

The patch of grass that I fell on had brothers, and though the lawn wasn't completely overgrown, it would be in a matter of weeks. The flowers that he planted were still in full bloom, but they were competing for sunlight with the presence of some wild, flower-like weeds.

I walked a stony path toward the house. Anything that he personally kept would have to be at least by the house, right?

Well I was right. I noticed a pair of gardening gloves suspended from a little hook against the brick exterior wall of the house. I took them into my own gloved hands, trying to soak up his presence. I know. They were just gloves. But they were _his _gloves.

They were also dirty, so I knew that I couldn't let myself get too consumed with them. I tucked them into the outer part of my purse, wrinkling my nose.

It was official. I had completed my side of the bargain. That just left Shadow.

I thought about calling him to tell him that I was done, but we'd see each other soon enough, and something told me that Shadow didn't like me bothering him any more than I had to.

So I took a seat on the patio furniture, taking in the plushiness of the chair. I let my mind and body relax as I stared off into the yard. It was the second time that I had been out here. I tapped my fingers against the table. It felt like I was waiting for something. But I knew better.

Yet, I wasn't in a rush to leave either. Because, what waited for me? Blaze and Sally were planning Rouge's bachelorette party. Sonic and Silver were probably planning Knuckles'. And Tails and Cream were either helping with them or out doing something together. That just left Shadow again. And me, I guess.

I folded my arms, using them to lean on the table. There was a sense of calmness and serenity that only existed at this hour. Closing my eyes, I let myself become part of the atmosphere. Life could have been this simple, but I was trying not to let my mind go there.

Instead, it went somewhere else.

"_Amy." It didn't take a second to know who was speaking. Scourge. _

_We were ten or so feet away—close enough for me to read his pained expression, but far enough for him to not be mine. I sealed the gap between us in a sprint, until I could feel his soft breath trickled on my face. I looked up at him. I didn't remember being so small. Feeling so small._

"_Scourge..." I could only say. I cradled his face in my hands. Stroking his cheeks more for a confirmation than affection. Real. He had to be real. _

_He gripped my wrists lightly, pulling them down. His celeste eyes fell with them, studying me—now objectively. I gritted my teeth, forcing down my pain. Amy. He called my Amy. Were we really over? Was I a fool to not realize this? _

_I brought my body closer to him, letting my eyes trail his form. He looked the same. We had to be the same. My eyes then fell to his lips. I wanted to kiss him, but something else came out of my mouth._

"_You know that I thought I was..." He pulled me into an embrace._

"_I know." He placed a single kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes, clinging onto him. "I'm sorry-"_

"_Why?"I asked, my voice muffled against his shoulder. "I'm not mad. Just why did you leave?" I didn't like the level of plead on my voice. But I was desperate. I had always been desperate. And I needed to know. _

_He shook his head, removing himself from our embrace. "You couldn't handle it-"_

"_You think I can handle this? It's unbearable, Scourge! I can't do anything." I was hopeless. I was crying now, and I just wanted him to keep holding me. But something told me that it wasn't that simple. My distressed eyes met his, which were dazzling but distant. I bit my lip, my throat burning with rage and despair. "I can't go forward without you."_

"_Yes you can." I didn't like the look in his eye. _

"_No!" I thrashed my lips against his, wrapping my arms around his neck. I knew he was lying because he kissed back, harder, assulting my curves the way he used to. I way I loved. Our tongues wrestled for dominance—I opened my mouth to take in more of him, pulling at his quills to set him off. Together._

_This was how we were supposed to be. Forever. _

_With a reluctant smack our lips parted. And I was left gasping for air like I was desperate for answers. I held onto him, my eyes glued against his, but too exhilerated and winded to say anything other than his name. _

"_Scourge..."_

_The exchange had affected him. I could feel the heat radiating off of him, and wild look in his eye. But with a shake of his head, he stabilized almost instantly. He gave me a firm, almost apologetic look. _

"_Rosie." He hissed through his teeth before pressing his lips into a straight line. "I'm just...Sorry."_

_He looked over his right shoulder. I let my gaze follow his, but I couldn't see anything. Just a white darkness. _

_When I returned it back to him, there was no him. _

_Scourge was gone._

I awoke to the loud chirp of birdies flying overhead. My eyes snapped open so fast that I had to close them again. Was that a dream? Or was it a nightmare?

Either way, me dozing off at the home of the boyfriend who had abandoned me was a clear sign that I had overstayed my welcome. Not that I had ever been welcomed.

I rose to my feet quickly, before feeling dizzy. I closed my eyes again. _What was that?_ Scourge said I should move on. But when he kissed—I knew that his words weren't true. I pursed my lips as I brushed a hand through my quills.

I had been considering everything from my angle. Me being hurt. Me being left. I knew that it was hard trying to find someone that didn't want to be found, but I never considered that just because he didn't want to be found didn't mean that I had to be devastated by it.

But he still loved me.

It wasn't fair to me—or even fair to him, to move on without closure. I was accepting the fact that we wouldn't get married. We wouldn't have children. We wouldn't grow old with each other.

I knew that getting into a relationship with him. But even with someone like Parker, who I very well could see myself having a life with, how could I when my current life was unresolved? I didn't want to be that old lady who went on to live her life only to see you-know-who-left and feel like she made a mistake.

Yes, I had to look at this with light. I could be over Scourge. But I couldn't live with this uncertainty. But there I was, falling victim to coulds.

As I started for the gate, I saw something reflect in the sunlight in the corner of my eye. I spun around, and I could see it.

His sunglasses.

On a built-in brick table structure was his pride and joy. I walked toward them, taking the rims into my hands. They were bleached out by the sun—the black metalic-like plastic had faded into a dark indigo. But I didn't care.

I placed them over my eyes, studying my new atmosphere. I was surprised that I didn't find the world to be too dim. Instead, the picture was just right. I could look at the sun, and for once reality didn't seem blinding.

Maybe our union was flawed, but that didn't mean that I didn't appreciate it—him. I would always love Scourge.

And I would take these lenses as a token of his affections toward me.

There was no way I could go home. It felt premature. But there was also no way I could confirm my news with Shadow. What I meant was, if I wanted to talk to someone, I wanted to talk to someone that I didn't force to be included in the matter. Shadow thought I was annoying—even I could admit that the little stint I pulled in his house was a little extreme. But I could tell that he was merely appeasing me. So I didn't want to over step our undetermined boundries.

Besides. That dream-nightmare-awkening-thingy riled a spirit in me and I wanted to expel my shockingly positive energy on someone who'd actually want it. And with Blaze and Sally too busy planning a bachlorette party, and Cream doing God knows what with Tails, I knew that I only had one option.

* * *

It was sunset when I walked into McAlister's Tavern.

"Amy!" I turned to the source of of the voice. Only for the voice to smack lips with me.

My eyes widened, but Parker's were closed. Since we were in his father's bar, I fought the urge to wrestle free. Besides. Maybe it was the sexual tension Rouge was talking about earlier, but I sort of liked the sensation. But Parker released too soon for me to make too much of it.

I took a breath of the confusing air, which was welcomed by the sound of plates clattering. My head snapped in the opposite direction. It was the cheetah waitress. Whose name eludes me. Anyway, you could tell she was fuming by the way she charged into the backroom, mumbling vulgarities. I blinked. Oh, that's right. I had_ all_ the men.

But I didn't. I forced a smile in Parker's direction. "Um, hi Parker."

"Hello, yourself." He was smiling. As usual. I bit my lower-lip, which admittedly still tingled. Parker really did have an affect on women. I guess it explained his profession.

But him kissing me wasn't the only shocking—but kind of pleasant—surprise. He was shirtless. And he looked hot. I clamped my mouth to prevent from swooning. _Be calm, Amy. _

"Uh, Parker..." I hoped it didn't look obvious that I was staring at his abs. "Why are you-"

"Shirtless?" He smiled wider. "Just trying to impress the ladies, _as usual_."

I blinked at him. "Then why did you-"

"Get a look at the happy couple!" Phil said, his voice almost above an ecstatic cheer. He patted his son's bare shoulder. "To think that it actually happened."

The older possum turned to me. "How are you doing Amy?"

My eye started to twitch but I nodded. "Fine. Um, how are you doing?"

"Great."

My heart fell. _Great?_ Now I could see why Parker greeted me so nicely. But that didn't explain why he was here.

"It's not that I don't like seeing you, _sweetheart_," I said, playing along. "But why are you here?" And still shirtless. Yup, I wasn't mad. But I was confused. We hadn't spoken in two weeks.

"Remember when I mentioned my dad needing some help remodeling? Well, here I am."

"It's ironic," Phil began, his smile indenting his laugh lines. "I thought him working here would take away some business. But the ladies seem to like it. Too bad he's taken."

Parker scratched his head, before folding a stained towel over his shoulder. It was in the similar fashion as his father. "I painted the walls a while ago." He motioned a hand to the slick-black wall. "Now I'm just polishing some tables."

"Don't you have doctoring to do?" I countered, not quite convinced with what was happening.

"It's my day off," Parker said. I wrinkled my nose. Wasn't it only Thursday? But it was summertime. "I'm happy to see you here." I let him kiss my cheek.

"Was there anything you wanted to talk about?" Phil said, but he had already retreated behind the bar table, tending to some costumers. I shrugged my shoulders before shaking my head. It occurred to me that I never told Phil about the outcome of our date, let alone the fact that I had one.

And here I was, about to tell Phil that I was no longer moping about Scourge. Wasn't dating his son evidence enough?

But we weren't dating. I gave a Parker a look.

"Nice sunglasses," he offered, taking my hand into his. He led me to the bar. I took them off immediately, feeling my face heat up.

"They are nice," Phil said this time, mixing a tonic and vodka. He slid it over the table to a customer. "It sort of reminds me of the ones..." His eyes widened and he shot me a look. "Parker, could I ask Amy a question in private? It's about you." But his eyes didn't leave mine.

Parker pursed his lips before shrugging. "Fine. You know where to find me." He took his towel into his hand and started for some empty tables. More girls swooned.

I sighed, trying not to feel intimidated by Phil's sudden realization. "I'm not obsessed with him. I just _really_ like these shades." I was hoping the humor on my tone would remove the frown on his face.

Phil looked unconvinced. "I don't see why you're doing this to yourself. Here's a nice guy who really likes you and you're still fixating over some guy that left you. Why?"

That's what I wanted to know. All I knew was that Parker was not Scourge. And maybe he was better than him—he would be a better boyfriend. But that didn't mean that I wanted to jump in his arms and be happily. Even if it seemed easier. Guess I was a masochist.

"I _really_ like Parker, and I'm giving him a chance. It's just hard," I said. "Besides, I'm only wearing these _because_ I've gotten over him. That's what I was coming over here to tell you, actually."

"Really?" Phil's eyebrows rose. I nodded.

"You know how I was earlier. The sight of these things would have made me go ballistic." The world would have drowned in my tears. Now I was kissing other guys. Or other guys were kissing me. I wrinkled my nose. _Same thing. _

"And I have you to thank, indirectly setting us up and all." The grin on my face was genuine. Even if it was mostly an effort to boast Phil so that he'd get off my back. When he nodded and started focusing more his bartender duties I took that as a sign that this confrontation was mostly over.

"Glad to help." He offered me a warm, fatherly smile. If it wasn't obvious, Parker got his charm from him. "Now go on. He's waiting for you."

"Okay. Thank you." And with that, I went to meet my fake-lover-man. Busy re-staining the table a deep brown, I tapped his shoulder gently.

"Hey." He straightened to focus his attention on me. It was weird, now that I thought of it. Usually guys were only attentive when they saw that I was sad. Or annoying. Parker had always given me his undivided attention. Was that why I was repelling?

Probably becoming uncomfortable by the feeling of my intense stare on his form, he cleared his throat. "So, what did dad say about me?"

I looked to the ceiling to formulate a response. When I had one, my eyes met his. "That he was surprised that you could score such a prize like myself. So you better treat me right." But then again, we weren't an actual item.

But we could be. It could be as easy as dismissing this search effort and just taking him as mine. I think Parker wanted me. Even if we were pretending to appease his father, he would have at least clued me in before going in for a smooch. Or maybe he was just a horny male. He was probably just a horny male.

"Look," he began. It didn't take an idiot to know where he was going. "I didn't mean to put you in a compromising situation. _Again_."

I nodded. But I didn't want to have this conversation. Again. If I really did appear fragile, why would he throw my heart against the wall? "Parker, I-"

He shook his head. "The next time I kiss you, it will be because you want me too."

"Who said there will be a next time?" The words escaped my mouth a little bit more menacingly than I intended. But it was annoying. First he kissed me and was like "you need to resolve your issues," now he kisses me _again_ and acts like he'll be able to. _Again. _

His ears fell, and I could feel my heart fall as well. Why was I fighting this? We could be together. We really could. But Scourge could still love me.

My life was a lover's limbo.

I let the palm of my hands skim his cheeks. I closed my eyes. Real. Parker was real. He was here. A man who very much liked me and would grow to love me. Would love me.

I had found what I was looking for. So why did I feel so lost?

Parker pulled me into an embrace. It felt weird, this happening in the middle of a bar, but suddenly nothing seemed to matter. It was just us.

His lips pressed against my ear. "I really care about you, Amy. But I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to do anything you don't want to." His lips trailed along my check. "But it's your choice." His lips were less than an inch from mine. "It's always been your choice."

With a slight smile, he released me, only to resumed polishing the table. I exhaled, starting out of the bar. Power wasn't something that I was used to having. Not when it came to love.

Parker.

Scourge—I mean, _closure_.

* * *

REVIEW.

~KozB


	13. Bring Night

I'm here, I wrote a chapter, bah-blah-blah. Let's move on. But not without a few responses!

I want to let all of you know that I strongly appreciate your reviews. And here are a few reactions from me, based on some things that caught my interest.

Bana: I don't know. I really don't think Amy is a feminist, but to my defense, my instant reaction to the definition is a woman in a pant-suit complaining about a man opening the door for her. Being that Amy seems desperate for love (a man's affection) despite her girly nature shows that although she can be strong and independent, she is very much affected by men romantically. And I feel that a feminist would be very irritated by her behavior. But what do I know? I'm a biology student.

BlackPetals23: I saw it. Too much nose wrinkling. I wish I had more time to do more thorough edits, but I pretty much just write it all and then come back and do basic grammatical edits. I'll be on the look out for annoying mannerisms.

RizReviewer and MistyVoid48: Shadow? Parker? Scourge? Amy's life sure is complicated right now. But there's one more roadblock that will come in her way. I myself very much like ShadAmy, but I have to go with the flow of the story. That's all I'm saying.

That was fun! Again, thanks for all of the reviews! I just felt that I needed to clarify somethings.

**Disclaimer:** Let's just play it safe and say I that I own nothing. Especially not your characters, SEGA.

* * *

Chapter 13: Bring Night

I had half a mind to get Shadow and demand that we do this right now. But of course, I couldn't speed up time. And I had another obligation.

"I want more jello shots!" Rouge wasn't yet intoxicated, but she was getting there. Quickly. It was probably a good thing that we were leaving the ladies' club—which was basically a dim, musty, male-stripper joint filled to the brim with horny housewives. And us.

But us were leaving, and I couldn't be happier. Nothing like Ricky the Raccoon gyrating his 'goods' in my face to arouse me. With anger.

My heels scrapped against the pavement as we approached Blaze's SUV. I should be in a better mood, but how could I?

My relationship friends had either spent the night celebrating Rouge (which I had completely no problem with, it was her day tomorrow, after all) or whispering at the employees/strippers, encouraging them to make passes at me. Little ole single me.

And that shouldn't have bothered me either.

But with my relationship-impending status with Parker, a search-rescue mission for Scourge with Shadow that commenced tomorrow, coupled with my sexual tension that Rouge had annoyingly and appropriately pointed out, this night had riled me up in the wrong way.

"You can have more jello shots later," Sally assured Rouge sympatheticly, patting her back and steadying her slightly swaying body as they walked. I shook my head. Liar. The wedding was tomorrow. Didn't Rouge know better than to get drunk as a skunk?

When Rouge staggered from the girl's grip, placing her hands sharply on her hips, I couldn't tell anymore. I guess she really could hold her liquor. She gritted her teeth as she eyed the girl. "You're lying. I don't want to go home just yet. It's only 10:30."

"She's right," Cream cut in. "The boy's are prob still partying it up. I want to, too!"

Sally rolled her eyes. Last thing she needed was a wasted, cranky bride ruining her maid-of-honor efforts. "Tomorrow's your big day."

The bashful bat shrugged her shoulders. "Big day, you're gay." She turned to us before saying, "Who else wants to party?!"

"Me!" That was Cream.

I sucked in the bittersweet air. I was a little surprised that Blaze hadn't said anything yet. She seemed to be observing the madness slowly unfolding before us. I placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Your call," I said to Blaze. She gave me a rather indifferent look—a look I was almost thankful for. I was no longer her problem. Rouge and Cream were.

Blaze shrugged her shoulders. "I don't see any problem in making the night last longer."

I hid the frown trying to emerge on my face. Way for Miss Uptight to surrender her natural tendencies. I wanted her to be reasonable. For her to tell us that we should all just go home. She was a party ender, not a party starter. Now was not the time to start acting _cool_.

When Rouge and Cream started cheering like school girls, Sally offered a sigh in my place. "Seriously, Blaze?" she said rather tiredly, as Blaze clicked open the SUV. Rouge claimed shot gun.

Seriously? Why couldn't the night just end?

I had to spend the entire—well most of—the day tomorrow with them. In a wretched wedding. And if I thought they were being annoying now, I knew that would all change when (a) Rouge goes all bridezilla on us (b) they try to set me up with every available guy at the reception, making (c) it harder for me to get the hell out and find Scourge.

"Besides," Rouge began, as she straddled her seatbelt over her large bust. "The wedding doesn't even start till six."

Sally's right eye started to twitch. "That's when cocktail hour is."

"Cocktail hour?" Rouge's eyes were wide, confused. "What the hell is that?"

Sally groaned before shutting the door behind her. Locked in between the moody maid-of-honor and a perky eighteen-year-old, I knew this night would be unbearable. Like, _really_ unbearable.

"Where are we going?" I asked, in an effort to test Blaze. Maybe I was over-exaggerating. Maybe she would be the relief of the night. What she said next didn't surprise me.

"You'll see."

* * *

"I'm _so_ bored."

"We'll you're the one who wanted the night to continue so bad."

"Yeah, well-"

"Yeah, _what_?"

"_Ugh!_"

This was fun. And when I said fun, I meant awful. Though I was too tired to be sarcastic.

Cream had collapsed onto the living room floor after her little verbal brawl with Blaze. We were at her house. I guess we supposed to be having fun—this could be fun, watching movies and eating popcorn and drinking soda—but this was played out. We'd done this too many times for it to satisfy Rouge and Cream's bachlorette after party expectations, and to justify staying up to _gasp_—12:30—the night before a wedding. Sally's complaint.

Blaze shrugged her shoulders. What? It was her house. She was clearly comfortable with all of this. I was trying to be, but I was mostly on edge about what was happening a couple houses over. Shadow should have the emerald by now. I could leave. We could do this _now_. It's not like Scourge wasn't a night owl. It's not like he'd complain about seeing me. Would he?-

"Let's play truth or dare!" Cream rose to her feet so fast that I got whiplash. _What the? _

"What are you, thirteen?" Rouge interjected, her face practically drying up at the innocent notion of a not-so innocent game. I sighed, wishing I was anywhere but here. But this was old news

"You made me your flower girl so maybe I am." Cream crossed her arms before walking into the kitchen. Despite her diss, Rouge followed her. To apologize? To diss her some more? Hopefully something interesting that could find it's way to the living room.

When they brought out two six-packs of beer into the living space, it couldn't be denied that things just did. But I didn't know if I was asking for _that_ type of interesting.

"W-wait, what are you guys doing?" There was a somewhat frantic look in Blaze's eyes as they found the beer.

"Looks like the priss has been holding out on us," Rouge said. She cocked the bottle cap in the corner of her mouth before snapping it open.

"Impressive." Cream followed in her lead.

"Cream, you're not even old enough to drink," Blaze fought back. Cream shrugged her shoulders before chugging some of the liquid down. Maybe that's why she had such a shitty time at the club. All underage and sipping on her ginger ale.

Sally soothed the crease between her eyes. "Whatever. Let's just play the stupid game and go to bed," she said, giving a defeated wave. I nodded. I wanted this stupid slumber party to be over.

"Okay," Blaze agreed reluctantly. "Play."

"Alright!" Cream cheered, handing us all beverages. "Time to make this a little less PG."

I fought the urge to scowl before gathering in a circle with the girls. I could say that this was all stupid, but I knew it wouldn't faze Cream. Forget finding Scourge. I needed her optimism.

"So who wants to go first?" she then offered. I pressed my lips into a firm line as I surveyed my company. I wasn't going. This wasn't my idea.

"How about you, sugar." Rouge's eyes skimmed over her nails before landing on the rabbit. "As bride, I chose you to be the first victim." The smirk on her lips was devious. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Seems fair," Blaze agreed. Rouge clasped her hands.

"Truth or dare?"

Cream pouted. She narrowed her eyes somewhat worriedly on the bat, but Rouge's sly expression didn't change. "Dare."

Rouge cleared her throat, tapping her finger against her cheek as she thought up a worthy dare. I have to admit, this was almost exhilarating. I mean, Rouge didn't look like she was afraid to _go_ there. Even though Cream was technically her victim, I knew Rouge could make us all look like fools.

Her tongue clicked and her eyes widened when they landed on the girl. I'm surprised Cream didn't flinch. "Since Sally's having such an awful time, I want you to make it all better by kissing her." The smirk in her eyes intensified. "Passionately."

Blaze and I exchanged grins before glaring at Sally. There was a trace of trepidation on her face, but she mostly looked bored. Tired.

"Fine." Sally tried to hide the spite in her tone. "Cream, get over here."

Cream shrugged before crawling over to her. The sight was ridiculous. "Hey baby," she said, in a mock guy tone. "Come to daddy."

And come to daddy she did. Sally pulled Cream by the collar of her tank top and crashed her lips onto hers. The exchange continued. With tongue. And moaning. Cream's hands had found there way up Sally's blouse before Rouge wove her hands in the air.

"Okay, you guys can stop!" Rouge was laughing beyond control. They continued for a little while longer, despite Rouge's intervention. With a smack, their lips parted.

Sally was panting lightly. "You're a _really _good kisser." She was blushing too. It could probably be seen from outer space. "Better than Sonic," she mumbled under her winded breath.

Cream flexed her non-existent muscles. "I get told that a lot."

I scoffed, though finding the laughter that had ceased the space contagious. "Yeah. By Tails."

"Oh," Rouge said, before laughing again. "Looks like that woke up Sally."

Sally pursed her lips but nodded. "Consider me game."

"Great." Rouge had began eyeing the crowd for more victims. Cream shook her head.

"No Rouge, it's _my_ turn."

Rouge folded her arms with a sigh. I was pretty sure she wore the pants in her union with Knuckles. "Okay, go ahead."

"I will."

Cream glanced at all of us, but I knew who her next victim was. She pointed her empty beer bottle at me.

"You."

I took the first sip from my own beverage. A long one. With a wince and a swallow, my eyes met hers.

"What do you want me to do, flower girl?"

There was some giggling from the other girls. Cream only grinned. "Truth or dare?"

I didn't really feel like moving. So I guess I'd have to settle for honesty. "Truth."

Her smirk intensified—I was scared of that. But my life had been a pretty open book lately, and my shame had been put out to dry a long time ago. Nothing she could say would faze me.

"So..." Her voice began carefully, though wondrously, like an adventurer tip-toeing over a land mine. "...How was the sex with Scourge?"

Sex. That's what it all came down to, right? I suddenly felt uncomfortable, though I didn't know why. None of us were virgins, though some of us (*cough* Sally and Blaze *cough*) could easily have you fooled.

And besides. I was over Scourge. Even if it was only mostly, and I was actively pursuing him as we played a fun game that now felt heinous.

"Cream." There was an unsettling combination of irritation and warning in Blaze's tone. I shook my head, dismissing her maternal-like protection toward me. It was appreciated, but I was fine. At least I was trying to be. And I don't think I was doing such a bad job.

"No, I have no problem with it," I said to Blaze, though my eyes had already locked on Cream's. Maybe two months ago, but not today.

"It was amazing," I said, flat out. I half expected a few gasps, but they looked very interested in what I had to say. Even Blaze. Hell, I would if I was them.

I had a fling with the infamous Scourge. Who wouldn't want the dirty details?

I inhaled the air, also surprised that it had lost it's bitterness. "He had this way, this dominance in the act, lips that set your body on fire. He also had a tenderness when he caressed me." A tenderness that made me feel like he'd be mine forever. But I tried not to think about that.

I took another sip from the beer, suppressing my emotions threatening to seep from the surface. "But we only did it a few times," I said, sparing them the rest of the sensual details. Hey, Cream never asked for a thorough response, and I could see her mouth pucker from me holding back.

"I think we're done here," Blaze then said. "Amy, you're up."

I shrugged. "Truth or dare, Blaze."

"Dare."

I gave her a taken back look. Sure, I didn't know what I was going to make her do even if she picked truth, but it was just unpredictable. Did sensible, modest Blaze grow a pair during her little weekend with Silver?

But I was tired of playing these little games. Kissing and sex talking. No. I wanted to do something _big_.

I considered her punishment as I felt the girls around me get antsy, the same way they had when Cream asked me her question about Scourge. I gave Blaze a contemplative look.

"I want you..." I tapped my finger-tips against the floor boards. "...to spy on the boys."

There was a collective "Oh" as everyone's mouth's formed an O. Blaze's gaze hardened against mine.

"And what do you expect me to accomplish?" She didn't look annoyed, or willing to back down. I took that as a good sign.

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "We'll follow you, and watch you bring something back from their party."

"Something interesting." Rouge added. I nodded.

"Something interesting."

Blaze's eyes narrowed. "And if I refuse?"

"You make out with Rouge," I said casually. "And give her a lap dance." I said, keeping the alternative sexual. More so _homo_sexual, though.

"And I bite." Rouge took a mouth full of air.

Blaze scoffed before her eyes settled a bit angrily, though acceptantly, against the ground. She then rose to her feet, brushing off her pajama shorts as if to remove the dare placed upon her. She walked to the door.

"Are you guys coming, or do I have to do this alone?"

* * *

We ventured outside. But once the cool August air assaulted us, I began to wonder if I went too far.

But I braved it out, leading behind Blaze, who appeared as determined as ever. But maybe she just really wanted to get this over with. Kind of like I just really wanted to go home. You know, before things got interesting.

"You sure we aren't going to get in trouble for this?" Good-two-shoes Sally asked. I couldn't help but scoff at her concern. We weren't grade schoolers. You know, even if we were playing a grade school game.

"What is anyone going to do?" Rouge said, her tone in more of demand than a question. "Arrest us for taking a midnight stroll in our pajamas? Sexy people don't get in trouble."

"We cause it!" That was Cream. Who apparently had enough energy to leap in the air at one in the morning. I yawned as I followed behind Blaze; though I wasn't tired. Sonic and Sally's house—where the bachelor's party was being held—was only five houses over from Blaze's. But it was coming into view.

We stopped in front of the mailbox, studying the house. From our distance you could hear the faint sound of rap-music/dub-step, but it wasn't violating any particular noise violations. I offered Blaze a single nod.

"It's loud as fuck in there," I said, watching her nose wrinkle at my vulgar language. I rolled my eyes. Not what she should be worried about. "So it should make things easier for you."

Even in the slightly illuminated darkness, due to both the street light and the lighting of the party, I could see Blaze's eyes soften. "So I get in and get out. Sounds simple enough." I could see her attention turn to one of the slightly open windows along the side of the house. She started for it.

"Don't forget something interesting!" I said in a whisper. I'm positive it came out as a yell. Regardless, she disappeared into the darkness.

"What do we do now?" Cream asked. She draped her arms around her body to shield herself from the cold.

"We wait." I said, beginning to feel like this was a dangerous operation in a movie. And I was the captain. It was exhilarating.

It was beginning to take a while.

I didn't have a watch on me, but I was positive that it had been over twenty minutes. _Did they catch her? _I tapped the ball of my foot against the ground, studying the house. It was still loud. Bright. If they did catch her, they had a funny way of showing it-

"Boo." My gasp was cut off by a pair of hands gripping over my wrists. I tried to wiggle free but it was useless. My eyes frantically met my attacker. And if my hands weren't obsolete, I would have attacked him.

"_Shadow_?" I said in a rushed whisper. I turned over my shoulder, only to see that the other guys had captured the girls. All of the girls except Blaze, who was on the porch with Silver.

I rolled my eyes. I should have known that she'd turn on us. It wasn't in her nature play damsel in distress.

"But we were watching the house," I began. "How'd you guys-"

"Went through the back yard," Shadow informed me, releasing me from his grip. "You could call it an ambush." His crimson eyes were vivid in the night sky. I narrowed mine.

"Glad to see _you're_ having fun." I started for the house like the others, before stopping in place. I turned my attention to the onyx hedgehog. "Did you get the emerald?" I made sure my voice was below a whisper.

He offered me a simple nod. "Yes."

"I found a pair of gloves at his house," I said, my eyes settling on the moon-less sky. "So remind me _why_ we can't do this now?"

"Well, we could," he admitted, his tone unusually considerate. His eyes trailed against my form. "But I don't think your attire is very appropriate."

I scanned my outfit. Oh. Right. I was still in my pajamas. Pajama's that consisted of a cleavage-bearing lace cup camisole and shorts.

I mean, I was sure Scourge wouldn't object to it, but I wasn't meeting him to jump his bones. Though, I didn't know if I would oppose it. Cream's question did get me thinking about him in that way. And boy did I miss that...

"Moving on," Shadow said, stunting my less-than appropriate thoughts. "I'm not sure the reception is the most appropriate time to conduct the mission."

Mission. The way he said it sounded so serious. I knew this was a serious matter (technically this was the one thing standing between me and Parker) but Shadow was making it seem like it was impossible.

"I know," I said, agreeing with his sensibility. But there was nothing sensible about what I was doing. Maybe my intentions were. But this was mostly a desperate operation. "But I want to get it over with _then_. I know what the wedding's going to be like. It's going to be like every social event with the gang.

"Them all in love and happy and me bringing down their relationship mojo," I said with a sigh. I wish it wasn't a big deal. I wish I was one of those people who just went off and did their own single thing. But maybe it was my company. If a kitten hangs out with puppies, it's going to grow up thinking it's a dog, right?

It's not like what I was saying wasn't true. The others had gone inside. Just leaving Shadow and I. The music was blaring even louder. This told me that they couldn't care less about our absence.

I sighed again before motioning an arm at the door. "You see what I mean?"

Shadow nodded. "Yes. But I fail to see what the issue is."

I tongue glided over my teeth as I gave Shadow a baffled look. "Don't you ever want company? _Sex_?"

He was still a guy, right? I expected him to give me a look of disgust with my last remark, but his expression was expressionless. Borderline calm.

"I do not require those things," he said simply, declining my words. "I'm not saying that I enjoy solitude or celibacy, but I've...come to terms with it." The last words rolled off his tongue with a slight lack of conviction. It wasn't that detectable, but I still found it unsettling.

I cocked my head to the side, contemplating what he said. "So you never want to find your Mrs. Ultimate Life Form?"

"I never said that." He shook his head. "I'm just saying that it isn't necessary." Instead of starting for the house, his feet found the sidewalk. His eyes flashed against mine before he turned. "Good night, Rose."

Part of me wanted to follow him. To be the company that his life lacked. But then it occurred to me that there was a group of friends gathering for a wonderful cause tomorrow. Maybe neither of us were really all that alone. Maybe we just chose to be. Specifically speaking for the way Shadow left.

Maybe I couldn't have Scourge. But it was beginning to occur to me that I had no claim on him in the first place. A fling. I had to remember that it was just a fling. Even if it had robbed me of all of my firsts.

But I still had them. My friends. I always had them. I walked into the home only to be welcomed by Blaze giving me a slight smile before dancing with Silver, who shot a less enthralled look in my direction. That's right, he hated me now.

I settled into the couch after moving a polished box of pizza, and the controllers for Sonic's gaming device. As I watched the couples dance the night away, I refused to let my mind wander on Scourge. Or what he's doing right now. After all.

I'd have my answer tomorrow.


	14. Ceremonials

Ugh, packing.

Thanks again for the reviews. Keeps me motivated.

RizReviewer and BlackPetals23: Yeah, Silver doesn't like Amy very much in this story. But can you blame him? Maybe.

Bana: You're totally right. Despite her somewhat love-dependent nature, I see Amy as a pretty righteous person. Independent in her own right as she tries to figure her life out. Thanks for opening my eyes.

**Disclaimer:** See the disclaimers in chapters 1-13. My opinion is still the same.

Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 14: Ceremonials

I woke up the next morning with a mood. Not a wedding mood.

Blinking my night-crusted eyes, I tried to make out my setting. The slate gray walls above me assured that I wasn't at home. Huh, I must have fallen asleep on the couch at Sonic's house and was dragged here. Blaze's house.

I nestled my head further into the mattress. I was glad it was just that. Not me passing out on the sidewalk or trying to flee from a nightmare. Nope, this was perfectly normal.

Until I realized Cream's body was on top of mine. She was draped diagonally, and seemed to have no problem using me as a bed. I used my free hand-the one _not_ being crushed by her stomach-to shake her awake. She rustled lightly, digging her elbow into my abdomen. I clenched my teeth.

"Tails," she mumbled in a trance, rubbing her head against the crook of my neck. "Good morning, baby..."

I watched her lips pucker to kiss me before I threw her off the bed. She landed in a hard thump, though I'm pretty sure she didn't hit her head. Pretty sure. I retreated to the side of the bed to study the damage. She was fine.

"_Ow_," she said in a high whine, rubbing her shoulder. "I thought you were supposed to be the nice one!"

"Hey, I am nice," I said, rising to my feet. I winced at the stiffness of my body. Probably because of the awkward sleeping position Cream put me through. I blinked some more, my eyes trying to find a clock. "What time is it?"

"I don't know." It took a lot of will to prevent from groaning at her hopelessness. By the way the sun was shining in the sky, I didn't think it was pass noon. Which was fine, because we had to be at the wedding hall before four. Wedding Hall.

Wedding.

It was weird that today was kind of a big deal for me too.

I shook off the thought and started for the door with Cream trailing behind me. The house appeared empty, but that didn't surprise me. Blaze was third on the wedding ladder, and she and Sally were probably dealing with Rouge, who hopefully hadn't gone bridezilla yet.

Downstairs, I saw that my observations were true. No Blaze. No Sally. No Rouge. There was a text on my phone, I noted, as we made it to the living room.

**With Rouge and Sally at her house to get items. Be at Viridian Village Wedding Hall at two to set up. Thanks. **

I sighed when I realized the time. 1:46 p.m. I hated my timing.

"Cream," I started, pulling my purse to my shoulder. "We have to get going. Now."

"Um, do we even have a car?"

Irritation shot through me. We're practically late and we had no way to get there. Another thought hit me. I had to get my dress from my house, and so did Cream, and life had a way of always being difficult when I was involved...

"I can have Tails pick us up," Cream offered after a while. I considered the option before shaking my head. It would take too long.

"How about we have Sonic drive us?" Cream said, already starting for the door. "It doesn't take guys long to get ready, so he should still be at the house, right?"

Oh, right. I forgot about their party. In retrospect, Tails should still be there too. I guess we'd just have to see who was the most eager to drive a couple of ladies around.

We exited and started for the house. Luckily it was Saturday, and it appeared like all of the neighbors had better things to do than watch us hit the pavements. Still in our pajamas. Midday.

We're a little more than half way there when Cream tugged on my shoulder. I meet her gaze, but her expression troubled me. Mostly because _she_ looked troubled.

"What's wrong?" I asked, blinking in a confused stupor. Her lips press together. So hard that it drained the color from them.

"I'm sorry, Amy." Her feet were heavy, scraping against the pebbled pavement at an inconsistent beat. "Last night. Truth and dare. I don't know, it seems like I've been making you uncomfortable with what happened."

I didn't know what to say. So I swallowed the knot in my throat. I tried not to wince when it hit my stomach. An apology? For what? Hadn't I caused everything on my own? Scourge left, but I was over it. I mean, being able to answer her question with a straight face was proof, right?

I shook my head. "I can't change what happened." A part of me didn't know if I would if I could. But as we walked on, something else occurred to me. Wasn't that what I was doing now with this search mission? He left, and I was just supposed to accept it. Now, it felt like I was chasing him. And the more you chase, the more what you want to seek tries to distance itself, right?

_Damn it._ I thought that when Phil said this, he was just talking about Sonic. Instead, it applied to all men. Everyone.

"Would you change it?" Cream then asked, picking up her pace to meet me. "I mean, I know the rest of the guys probably wouldn't be so keen about him, but-"

"I really don't know." If I wasn't being wishy-washy, I'd take a risk and say "No, I wouldn't." Because what did I actually know? We weren't even together for a week. Maybe things wouldn't have worked out anyway. Maybe I was devastated because we never had a chance. And I never had a choice.

But Parker was giving me one. And I wanted it. But I also wanted closure.

I nodded. "Closure. That's the only thing I want from Scourge."

There was a silence as a soft gush of wind breezed past us. Cream was the first to break it.

"What if you_ don't_ get closure?" We reached Sonic's house before I could think of a proper response. Was it bad that I had never thought of that?

"I'd like to think I'd be capable of moving on." Even though I didn't know how people moved on without a proper resolution. It took time, I guess. I mean, I wasn't as bad as I was three months ago and I hadn't done much. All I knew was that finding him would greatly accelerate the process.

Hopefully.

The front door was left slightly open, though most of the windows were closed. I felt a rush of deja vu as I pushed the door wider for entry. I took a deep breath before entering.

Here we go again.

* * *

Sonic had kindly agreed to be our man-bitch of the hour. We had stopped by my apartment first, and I now had my bridesmaids dress and make up bag. Taking a glimpse at her cellphone, Cream's foot started to tap impatiently. I wanted to care too, but we all knew that I had bigger fries to fry. And as much as I told myself that it wasn't as important as the wedding (just a necessary act to return my trust in relationships) the more I felt like a fucking liar.

"Um, not that I'm not grateful for you coming to the rescue," Cream began, trying to enlighten our hero. "But, uh, why couldn't you have just dashed us? It probably would have been faster..."

"Carry the both of you? I'm fast, not the hulk," he replied, taking a turn. "Besides, Sally loaded the car with things they need for the wedding. But yeah, _you're welcome_."

Cream pouted before slouching further into her chair. In the silence that accompanied us, I watched Sonic. No, not like that. I watched him drive. I don't think I'd ever been in the car with him, while he was driving. I don't think I've ever been in a car with him at all. Maybe that's why Cream was drawing such a fuss. It was kind of weird.

You could tell he was slightly uncomfortable with the act of driving when he had to _wait_ for other people to move. A grin couldn't help but find its way on my face as he parked into the drive way of Cream's house. She jumped out of the car before her head snapped back at our direction.

"You guys wanna come in?"

Sonic shooed her along. "You're the one who said we're wasting time. Go. I want ten seconds flat!" Even through Sonic was smiling, Cream stuck her tongue out at him. Immature.

But she kept us all young. I guess.

"What're you smilin' about?" I didn't realize I was still grinning until Sonic pointed it out. I tried to shake it off, but it was hanging on strong. His brow's knitted, forming a V.

"How much you hate driving," I said, my fingers tapping along the gray leather of the SUV. I started laughing.

"Hey, it's_ slow_," he offered, starting to laugh with me. I shook my head.

"It can be," I considered, my laughter subsiding. "But totally lame excuse."

"Whatever, Ames."

This was nice. Just talking and being friends. I know that I said something about us never being normal, but I could sense we were beginning to be.

"But I've been thinking," Sonic started. I couldn't prevent my eyes from widening.

"Sonic thinking?" I said, with mock shock on my voice. "Why I _never_."

He rolled his eyes at me before pressing on. "I don't know if you're still involved with that Parker guy, but I don't think he's bad news." I blinked at him.

"What are you saying?" I said slowly. I had no idea where this was coming from and where it was going. Sonic scratched his head, as if to find the words to make his previous statement make sense. I didn't know if that was possible.

"Date him...if you stopped," he offered, his emerald eyes firm against mine. Firm but caring. "If you still are and he's not an ass, keep it up."

I blinked again, feeling this little sentimental moment lose its sentiment. I gave him a smile that could rival that of any school girl. "Gee, thanks for your approval, daddy."

"Amy, I'm serious."

The fact that he used those two words, Amy _and_ serious, in the same sentence told me he was.

I pursed my lips and stared out of the window. _What's taking Cream so long?_

"It was only like four months ago that you wanted us to be married," Sonic then said. "You would have probably proposed to me at this wedding."

To be honest, the thought of this mortified me now. But I did my best not to show it. Instead, I narrowed my eyes at him. "So? I've moved on." He gave me an unconvinced look.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes," I hissed back, beginning to feel both awkward and annoyed. "Are we really making this about you? Because I think I've dedicated enough of my life obsessing over you."

His glare found the ceiling. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what are we even talking about?" I could feel an uncomfortable level of rage surge inside me. I will admit that things would have been easier if we had just gotten together. But both him and the universe were apparently bent against that. And I was fine with that. I didn't want to be with him any more than I wanted Scourge to leave. Life had been sucking, and I was just now getting out of my depressed rut. But I knew I was better for everything that had happened. I had to be.

"Nothing, I guess." He allowed himself to shrug his shoulders, his eyes retreating to the window. "Look, I just want to make sure you're all right, happy."

"Since when was that ever your responsibility?" I said sharply, venom coursing through my words. I shook my head. How did the atmosphere change into this? Two minutes ago, the sun was shining, and my only issue was the mission. It was past disgusting how everything _couldn't_ go my way. Now, the sun was still shining, and I had a blue blur on my hands.

He closed his eyes, and I watched him inhale. Exhale. I wished we could do the same with this conversation. When his eyes opened, there was a new glow to them. Compassionate. Worried.

"Even with everything that happened, you have to know that I still care about you." His eyes were almost pleading against mine. I tried to shake it off; he wasn't the one I wanted to hear this from. _But even if Scourge said this, would it matter?_

I answered my question by kissing Sonic. His eyes widened lightly. Our exchange went on for a few moments before I released. I placed my hand on his blushed cheek, caressing it softly. I offered him a deflated smile. "I know," I sighed. "And I'm sorry about that."

I don't know why I did that. Maybe to see if I was missing anything. It was nice, but it wasn't anything. I don't know if it was worth compromising our relationship—his relationship with Sally—but it needed to be done.

He brought up the idea that I was still into him. Our first and last kiss later, he was the only one swooning. I was over him before we could even start.

"You can stop blushing," I said, surprised how steady my voice was. It's not like it was exhilarating. Sally was right, indirectly. Cream probably was a better kisser.

Sonic blinked at me, shaking his head. His mouth parted to say something before he closed it, baffled. When he summoned enough composure and confidence—something I thought he usually carried in abundance—he said, "No worries. We'll just...keep it to ourselves."

"Keep what to yourselves?" Cream slammed the car door behind her, bridesmaid dress in a bag in her free hand.

"Nothing," Sonic assured her, revving the engine. "How's your mom?"

"She's good." Cream strapped on her seat belt, trying to fight off a scowl. "Annoying. She kept me up, asking for a bunch of details for the wedding. Said she'll be there to help before four."

I nodded to that, watching her wrinkle her nose in the rear-view mirror.

And just like that, it was as if nothing ever happened. For once, I was happy for that fact.

* * *

"What the hell took you guys so long?" Sally was panicking. Well, more so than usual. Sonic shrugged, before kissing her cheek in an effort to calm her.

"Settle down, princess," I said, pointing to the clock of the wedding hall's powder room, "It's only 2:25." Maybe I shouldn't have been talking to her like that after lip-locking with her boyfriend, but I was over everything. I just wanted to get today over with. Starting with this wedding. Ending with closure.

By now Sonic had left to meet up with the other boys in the gentleman's room. I knew they'd be out soon to help decorate the indoor ceremony space, so that meant I'd be stuck with the girls for a while.

"Help," Rouge said to me, as she adjusted the straps of her dress. I marched over, thinking the exact thought.

"What do you need?" I said, studying her reflection in the powder room mirror. Although she had both Sally and Blaze tending to her, I was surprised she needed my help. But I was more surprised by how great she looked.

She hadn't dawned all of her wedding wears, but her make up and hair had already been styled. She wore it in more of a natural look—her eye lids were painted with a pastel, earthy tone, and her lips were plush and pink. I'm sure that it would have to be touched up later, but for now she was fabulous.

"Pull out my earrings from the make up bag." There was a little bit more than her usual bark on her tone, which told me that the bridezilla in her would emerge any moment. Or maybe it was Sally, fluttering about the space—to the ceremony hall and back to the dressing room—like a dazed butterfly that was making her antsy. I handed Rouge the earrings, which were dangling and amethyst. She clipped them on quickly.

I smiled at the bride-to-be. "You look beautiful, Rouge."

"Tell me something I don't know." Despite her smug words she offered me a queenly smile. It evaporated when she studied my appearance.

"Go get dressed. Can't you see we have a wedding to put on?"

"Be quick about it, too," Blaze then countered. She was fully dressed-shocker-and was carrying a large box to go into the chapel-like wedding hall. "Wedding's in two hours, and we need all the help we can get."

I could see her shoot a slightly irritated glance at the lazy bride who seemed too busy applying more lip stick then to be of any actual help. But I guess it _was_ her big day. It wouldn't seem very 'magical' if she had to do all the dirty, manual labor. So of course, this was were I'd be called in.

I nodded at Blaze, hiding my reluctance. My annoyance. "Sure. Give me twenty minutes." Before Blaze could object to the timing, I shut the bathroom door behind me.

I breathed a sigh. But it wasn't one of relief. _It's just a wedding_, I kept reassuring myself. _And not even my own wedding at that. _

But now that I was here, the stakes felt higher than I ever had imagined. Because after this ceremony, I knew that nothing would ever be the same. I knew that I needed the change. I was just afraid that it wouldn't be worth it.

Or that I couldn't handle it.

* * *

Two hours went by rather painfully, the powder room clock's arrows lagging on each number as if it wasn't in a rush. I guess I technically wasn't in one either, but setting up for a wedding had proven to be much more boring than attending one.

Fresh violets and white streamers had been woven around chairs I wouldn't get to sit on, I had to sweep the floor because apparently Cream wanted to be a little premature with her flower girl duties, and I had to roll out ta fifty-foot black, satin carpet that stretched out from the doors leading to the room, to the matrimonial arc. By myself. And it was a lot heavier than it looked.

So yes, somehow I had upgraded to wedding-slave-bitch. The boys had a more tedious task of helping to set up the chairs and tables in the reception area, but with Silver's ESP, I'm pretty sure they finished like over an hour ago. They were probably in the kitchen snacking on food, messing up their suits before the wedding even started. Men were useless.

But I guess I liked useless. Even now, as I stood behind the closed white doors that led to the ceremonial hall, locked arm-in-arm with Shadow, bracing myself for the damn wedding to start, I noticed that his bow tie was crooked.

I straightened it without much thought. His expression didn't change at my random violation of his personal space. You know, besides the mandatory arm-holding thing that all of us were doing. When he nodded at me, the doors before us opened. I forced a smile as classical, but up-beat music began to play from the live band in the far right corner of the hall.

With a full audience of one hundred of our closest friends, I could see all our decoration efforts really come to life. I remember when Rouge and Sally were discussing theme colors, only to decide on purple. I was afraid at first (who are we kidding, I could really care less) that the whole thing would have been a tacky plum purple paradise, but the color was used sparingly and tastefully to accent the medium sized room. Purple flowers, our plum dresses, and a few violet hued streamers along the wall and diamond chandelier ceiling, easily made the point that this was a royal, passionate affair.

But it was an affair I wanted to get over with. Soon we approached the front of the stage, us bridesmaids dividing along the left-side, while the best men took to the right, next to Knuckles who was standing with pride. When Cream finished sprinkling flowers with Tails—a cute touch—the music changed. Our bride arrived.

True to her usual flamboyant nature, Rouge used the black stretch as her runway, her hips swaying lightly, chest perched out proudly with her bouquet, a beyond modest grin on her face.

When she made it to the front of the arc, Knuckles outstretched a hand out to her, bringing her forward. The officiant then started to speak, the ferret's warm smile washing over the room, adding to the jubilant atmosphere.

Rouge and Knuckles made some personal vows, accompanied by the sounds of laughter from the audience. Even Shadow couldn't help but crack a smile; they really were perfect for each other.

"Now, Knuckles, do you take Rouge to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the officiant asked. Knuckles gave Rouge the most affectionate look I'd ever seen a man give a woman. It stilled the air, stealing the breath of everyone in the room.

"I do." We could breathe again.

"Now, Rouge, do you take—"

"I do! I do!" Rouge's eyes were wide with exhilaration; her smile was indestructible.

The officiant nodded playfully as the audience's laughter died down. "If there are no objections, I now pronounce you as husband and wife!" He didn't have to give them permission to kiss. They were already at it. Passionately, and happily lip-locking.

After a long while, the two released, and the clapping intensified. They addressed their audience with a few waves and Mr. & Mrs. Echidna began to exit the ceremony hall.

And just like that, it was on.

* * *

Stuff's goin' down...

~KB


	15. LOVE

Yay for a longer than usual chapter!

Some stuff goes down. You guys ready?

Thanks a lot for your reviews about the wedding. I worked really hard on it. I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding, but watching _Four Weddings_ and_ Say Yes to the Dress_ was helpful. Ah, what would we do without TLC?

Anyway, I'm not going to hold you guys up.

**Disclaimer:** Do. Not. Own. SEGA. Characters.

Ready? Go!

* * *

Chapter 15: L.O.V.E

Cocktail hour had came and was in the process of passing, though I was spending most of the time not in the fun-lounge-guest area. Instead, I was setting out table-ware in the reception hall. It was fine, I guess, getting my mind off of tonight for a little while. Tedious labor had a way of turning you into a mindless drone. I wondered why there weren't more employees helping—aside from the caterers and the DJ from what I could see—but maybe it was just another bridezilla tactic.

Rouge would have more fun yelling at me than any random worker. But from what I last saw of her (she disappeared off with Knuckles, maybe to change her dress, to consummate their union before the wedding was even over...) she appeared pretty mellow. It was Sally I was worried about.

Once I finished setting out the hundredth and final plate and its adjoining champagne-ribboned silverware, I felt a tap on my shoulder. My body cringed, before turned to the source. Cream.

I gave her a slight smile, straightening myself completely upright. Not Sally. "Are we done yet?" I asked. I was surprised these words hadn't come out of her mouth first. She nodded, pointing a thumb behind her.

"Yup, the guys are just about finished." She brought out her cellphone from the dress pocket. "Sally went to go announce that cocktail hour will be over in a few. Said we can grab some appetizers if we wanted. The boys will be going soon."

I nodded. "Perfect." I hadn't eaten anything, but I didn't know if that was the reason why I could fit in my dress. But hunger won over my vain desires to look good. "You wanna go?"

"What did you and Sonic talk about?" she asked instead. I blinked at her abrupt, random topic of discussion.

"Is that even relevant?" I said, before closing my eyes. _Wrong answer, dumb ass! _Looking over my shoulder I could see the guys, some forty feet away, beginning to disperse from the wedding hall with Blaze._ Take me with you! _I began to plead mentally. When Blaze shot me a casual look, as if to say "let's get something to eat, friend. Forget about the flower girl" Cream the mental case decided to dismiss it with a shake of her head.

"We're just about finished!" Cream called back. "We'll catch up with you in a minute."

A flash of reluctance appeared on Blaze's eyes, but with Silver edging her forward, they disappeared into the lounge. I delayed a scoff. If I didn't dislike Silver before, I definitely did now.

I cleared my throat, summoning a calm disposition. This was _Cream_. She couldn't faze me.

"Parker." I willed myself to say after awhile. "Sonic said I should date him. Nothing else."

"Oh _really_?" I could feel tension bubble around us, turning the blissful bridal air toxic. I knew where this was going, so I was going to get there first.

"And I kissed him. On the lips." I added. "To prove that I wasn't in to him."

Cream's interrogation face fell flat. "W-what?" I nodded. By contrast, she shook her head, her fingers scrambling across her head. Ruining her up-do. A panicked expression replaced any harshness her face previously had.

"But you were talking about closure—made it seem like you were going to do something rash." She buried her face in her hands, shaking. My eyes narrowed.

"Cream, what did you do?" I didn't know why I was asking. I knew the answer. _Something stupid._

She rose slightly, her face spoiling in a pout. "I thought you were trying to move on, but with Sonic."

My mouth parted, I tried to regulate my breathing. I closed my eyes, growing more impatient—more anxious—by the second. "What did you _do_?"

"I told Sally about it."

I wanted to be surprised. To feel enough anger and betrayal to slap her upside the head. But I composed myself to the best of my ability, masking any emotions rising to the surface and letting her words sink in._ She told Sally?_

"Why didn't you come to me first?" I could detect a level of hurt in my voice but I shook it off, letting my eyes burn against the rash rabbit's form.

"You lied to us before," she offered, her tone strained as if to justify her actions. "And I didn't expect you to come out with it so easily. God! Can you_ really_ blame me?"

_Yes._ The alternative to blaming her would be blaming myself. I didn't think I did anything wrong. Friends could kiss each other so long as their intentions were pure. Yes, deep in the inside I wanted to do it to see _if_ I'd feel something, but I didn't. I wasn't keeping it a secret, but that didn't mean that I wanted to broadcast it to the whole world.

Apparently, I had Cream to do that for me.

"How did Sally respond? When did you tell her? Does Sonic know?" I asked. Cream's hands clamped over her head, as if it couldn't handle my honest influx of questions.

With a wince and a sigh, Cream answered: "She's peeved, but too distracted by the wedding to act, I guess, twenty minutes ago, and not as far as I know."

"It's all just a misunderstanding," I then said, pursing my lips.

"I don't know." Cream smoothed her bun before crossing her arms. "If you kissed Tails, even if it was to save his _life_, I'd be grateful but bitter as hell."

_Possessive bitches. _But their behavior didn't bother me completely. I mean, I remember how I felt whenever Fiona was around. But this was different. I wasn't vile. Nor were my intentions heinous.

"What do you think she's going to do?" I said, feeling panic flood my body. Personally, I didn't really care. Though I did care about what she could compromise. I still had a track-down mission.

"I'm really sorry." There she was. Apologizing when she just should have kept her spontaneous mouth shut.

My attention snapped back to her. "Whatever," I countered, feeling whatever anger I had slowly seep out of my body. This was trivial. Annoying, but trivial. "Just keep and eye out for Sally for me would you? Tell her what I told you."

Cream puckered her lips, as if what she heard left a funny taste in her mouth. "I've ruined everything. Don't you think it would be better if _you _cleared your name?"

"After _you_ besmirched it?" I tried to hide the attack in my voice, but it hit her square in the jaw. "No, I don't. I'm the psychotic bitch who makes bad decisions, remember?"

Cream nodded to my conclusion. "Alright." Her head snapped behind her as her ears perked up. "Looks like the guys are back."

Oh goody.

With most of the bridal party—excluding the bride and groom who would make their grand entrance in a bit—some guests began to enter the reception space.

But not Sally.

* * *

After the couple's first dance and dinner, and all that mushy-wedding-ritual jazz,I knew that I was no longer safe. It could be the presence of night beginning to set on the sky, or the fact that I had a possessive princess on my trail, but somehow confronting Scourge felt like the nicest option. Perfectly friendly.

By now, most guests had abandoned their tables for the dance floor. I would have gladly followed, but Sally had left the head table, either in pursuit of keeping the wedding in order or to have a good time. After all, she hadn't done anything wrong. I was the one who messed with her blue territory.

I didn't know a wedding could freeze over and burst into the flames of hell.

She was like a shark in the dance floor current. So I chose to avoid it, offering Vanilla some polite conversation at her table with Espio, Victor, and Charmy. Sally wouldn't dare try something in this company.

Unfortunately, I had underestimated Blaze.

"You enjoying the wedding so far?" she asked, casually leading me toward the refreshment table. I fought off the urge to shrug my shoulders and smiled.

"Absolutely." I could say that I had a pissed off maid-of-honor on my trail, but I didn't know if she knew that already. And if she did, I wasn't going to be the one to bring it up.

"Fun. But a hassle," she offered, releasing a tired sigh. "And only _three_ more hours to go."

I nodded. Blaze wasn't a party animal by any means. Not like Rouge—margarita in hand—dancing the night away with Knuckles, while simultaneously engaging party guests in playful conversation. I watched Blaze take a sip of water.

"Why don't you go dance with Silver?" I asked. I didn't want her to feel that she was tied to my side just because she found me.

"Because he's an annoyance." That wasn't Blaze.

My head snapped to the left, my eyes landing on Shadow's ominous form. It was a slightly funny sight, him wearing a bow tie and all. I let my eyes tear away from his form, watching for a change in Blaze's expression.

I expected her to roll or narrow her eyes—a more feminine Shadow reaction—but instead she offered him a breathy laugh. "Sometimes." She paused, her eyes flickering with a playful sparkle. "Most of the time."

"_Hey_." That was Silver. He landed by her side, giving a heads up to Shadow and giving me a small, strained smile. Despite the fact that the party music was flaring behind us, the atmosphere turned cold.

"Go dance." I said again, nudging at the couple. "Just because Shadow and I are losers doesn't mean you have to share in our miserable company." I laughed slightly. I think it only made the air drier.

After an awkward silence, Silver nodded. And I could feel myself hating him less. "She's right. I came over here to tell you that Sonic and Sally wanted to dance." He pulled a hand out to Blaze.

I breathed a sigh of relief. The dream-team-couple wanted to dance. That must have meant that Sally calmed down, and Sonic was clueless.

Blaze shot me a sorry, but hopeful look, as if she actually enjoyed my company, but was glad I was spending time with Shadow. Yeah, if she knew what we were about to do...

"Misery loves company," Shadow then offered, when the two disappeared. "But I do not."

"Then why are you here, talking to me?" I had no right to sound rude, but the anticipation of finally seeing Scourge, mixed with the restlessness of today was already proving to be a little bit too much. Part of me wondered if it would be best to hold off, but a driven part of me—maybe the slightly masochistic part of me, too—kept telling me that this was my limited window of opportunity.

I was up to it today. Who knew if I would still want to do it tomorrow? Not to mention all of the clean-up we'd have to do...

"You're the one who wants to do this," he said, crossing his arms. "At ten, we meet up—the north garden doors that lead to the outside." I nodded.

"You sure you want to go through with this?" I was tired of him asking me this. If I really didn't, wouldn't I have called it off already? But I guess it was Shadow, going all stoic and superior on me.

I nodded again. "Yes, Shadow. I just want to talk to him." Get my answers. Come back. Enjoy the rest of the night, despite the invisible death-looks I'm sure Sally was giving me now. "That's all. But I need you." I gave him a sincere look, pinching his hand in mine. "Thank you."

There was an almost shocking level of intensity in his eyes, before he nodded once, releasing my grip. "Then I'll see you later."

I let him walk off. But again, I was plagued with the urge to follow after him—see what Mr. Darkness was off to do for the next half-hour at a wedding. Surely he would want company-

"Amy."

"Parker."

We had to stop meeting like this. _Really. _

I let a smile grace my face, trying to decide if it was genuine or not. I mean, I had nothing against him—a little part of me was rooting for him. But I didn't need him here, distracting me from my cause. It was probably Rouge who invited him. To make things interesting in the worst possible way.

Ironic. Because I was going through this for him. Somewhat.

"How are you doing?" I said, letting my eyes trail to his suit-dawned form. His smile intensified.

"Great." I tried not to sulk. _Great, because I was here,_ probably.

"Actually," he began, wiggling a wine glass in his hands. "I had an emergency—had to go deliver a baby. So I missed the wedding ceremony." He began to laugh.

Here he was, saving lives medically. And I was just trying to chase down my loser ex-boyfriend. Maybe my reluctance wasn't because of his bad timing and Scourge leaving me. It wasn't him. It was me. He was too good for me, wasn't he?

"Glad you made it," I said, letting a happy glance hit his. I took a sip from my glass. "How do you like the wedding so far?"

"Oh, it's good," he said, nodding. "You guys did a great job decorating." His gaze fell to my form. "_You _look great."

A genuine smile did find it's way on my face. Parker did know how to flatter a woman. I bit my lip.

"What am I supposed to do with you?" I was joking, but part of me really wanted to know the answer. I mean, was it that I really needed closure from Scourge to move on, or were we really not supposed to be with each other?

"Dance with me." He stretched out a hand, smiling harder. It was a friendly offer, but somehow I could only find myself staring at the thing. Noticing my reluctance, he shrugged his shoulders, cocking his head to the side to survey me. "Come on, Amy. I don't bite."

"You sure about that?" I asked. I placed my hand over his. "Some of those kisses..." He chuckled before leading me to dance floor.

It was a fast, catchy tune, so I let myself relax, moving along with him. And to my (lack of) surprise he was a really good dancer. I even let him put his hands on me. But I was sounding smug. I swayed back and forth, letting the beat of the music match the beat of my heart. Moving my arms and feet to it.

"You're a really good dancer!" I said in a yell over the blare of the music. He smirked, placing his hands on my hips. My hands found the ceiling, moving rhythmically.

"So are you." He bounced his shoulders up and down. I scoffed a laugh, letting my eyes trail the dancing crowd. Everyone was having a good time. Part of me was wondering why it was so hard for me. I was enjoying dancing with Parker—even if I wasn't much of a dancer.

Life could be as simple as this. Just falling in his arms, entwining and unwinding to the sweet music. We were compatible, but it felt like I was doing everything in my power to deny our chemistry. But what if there was none? What if we were just two nice people who could like each other? What if there was no spark? Other than the fact that we would—_could_—be good together?

I'd have to try, if I wanted to know for sure. And me leaving his side to go seek Scourge was just to make sure I could pursue a relationship with him with a clear head. Yes. This was all that this was.

The song transitioned into a slower ballad before I could realize it. Parker pulled me in lightly by the waist. I locked my arms around his neck.

We swayed lightly, back and forth like an ocean current. And I tried to keep my mind from wandering like one.

"Why do you like me?" I asked, probably ruining the mood. I expected Parker to smile, whether it be an uncomfortable one or one filled with desire to answer the question. Instead, his lips pressed together and his royal blue eyes found mine.

"Other than the obvious?"

"Other than the obvious."

"To be honest, there's not much I know about you," he began, his eyes clouded with a serious level of contemplation. "You have very over-protective, slightly aggressive friends. You're smart and beautiful. And." He paused. "You went through something that you choose not to talk about."

"Parker..." He shook his head.

"It's not all because of the appointment. I can see it in your eyes." His glance was hard on mine. I pulled back, but his hand cupped over my cheek, as if in an effort to sooth all of my emotional pain away.

"So I'm damaged goods," I said with a sigh. "Why would handsome-doctor-man be interested? I mean, I can just tell your dad that it didn't work out. That it's all me. I'm a depressed, melodramatic-"

"Amy." His voice was filled with caution; his expression serious. "There's nothing wrong with you."

I nostrils flailed, as I shook my head. "Then why can't I get over it?"

I expected—I should stop expecting—for him to ask what _it_ was. If it was a him. Instead he pulled me in closer, practically a hug this time. I let myself relax at the feeling, hoping his body heat would warm my iced form.

"You will," he assured me. He brushed a hand through my quills. "You just need time." His forehead pressed against mine. I couldn't fight off the intensity in his eyes. "Me."

It seemed like an eternity that he we were stilled in that position. My heart throbbed in my chest, the only sign that we weren't statuary lovers. My eyes unlocked against his for a moment, only to fall to his lips. When they found his eyes again, he knew what I had seen. He tilted my head upwards with his finger tips. I could feel his soft, minted breath trickle against my face. I closed my eyes...

But then I saw Scourge. They snapped open.

I had to find Scourge.

I pushed out of his embrace, the movement startling him. I winced as I began to march off; I wanted to explain why I was leaving. But what could I say? I couldn't lie that I was going to go get punch or something. And I couldn't tell him the truth, could I? I shook my head. _No_.

"Amy." His voice sounded dazed, but mostly worried. "Where are you going?"

"I'll...I'll be back." I assured him, but I didn't stop. I didn't want him to catch me. I would be back. Maybe I made a spill here, but I had to clean up a bigger mess. Then I would explain myself. Not a flawless plan, but I never applauded myself for being put together.

As I merged into the crowded dance current, I couldn't help but turn around, watching Parker. A frown replaced his usual smile.

And I hated myself for it.

* * *

_God, how much time had I wasted? _

When I was talking to Shadow, we had about half an hour until ten. Unfortunately, I left my purse in the powder room. I shook off the thought as I exited the reception hall. Either way, the mission couldn't start until I was there. I mean, sure Shadow would probably be irritated, but when _wasn't_ he?

Outside of the reception area there were a few guest returning from the restroom, making phone calls, or engaging in light conversation that probably couldn't be heard with the boom of the music.

I took a sharp left, wishing I could run at full speed, but remembering that I couldn't look suspicious. For all I knew Blaze could be around the corner. Sally.

In a couple of minutes, I reached the garden doors. With a sigh and a nod I opened it. _Let's get this over with._

The outdoor space was a darkened garden. It was uninhabited for the most part, probably because there was another garden area closer to the reception hall. I closed my eyes, letting the cool night air rush through me; I hadn't noticed how stuffy it was in the hall. I waited in a mostly still silence, the trickling of a water fountain to my far left, and the sounds of crickets reminding me that I wasn't completely alone.

My heel tapped against the pebbled ground as I waited for Shadow to emerge from the darkness or something. _Something._

But he didn't.

"Shadow," I called out. "Shadow?"

Nothing.

My heart started thumping again, though I didn't know if it was because I was nervous or irritated._ Why the hell wasn't he here?_

But then a rather appropriate though graced through my rash head. I didn't know what time it was. For all I knew, I might have rushed out here early. Stupid me.

But stupid me had no way of knowing the time. There wasn't a fancy garden clock out here, and I wasn't in the mood to go back inside. I'd probably just run into Parker. And we knew just how fun that would be at this moment.

I pursed my lips, my hands falling to my hips. Then a rush of excitement hit me. My phone was in my pocket.

I pulled it out, my spirits rising. I had forgotten that this dress came with pockets. But Rouge was a spy. Even if she wanted to look glamorous, she also put the bat in combat. _Thank goodness. _

But when I read the time, I realized that finding my cellphone was just a momentary lucky breach in an otherwise unfortunate life. 10:20 pm.

I tried to shrug off the fact that I was late, but nerves and paranoia rushed over me. I was late. He wasn't here. Shadow left. Amy screwed.

Did Shadow really leave the wedding? Did he go home or something? I shook my head. He wouldn't just leave. Rouge was his best friend. You know, if he would openly declare her as such. Best comrade?

No, he wouldn't be getting his groove on the dance floor, but he still had to be here. Maybe he went out to find me. Yeah, that seemed appropriate.

Like I said before, this mission couldn't happen without me. He wouldn't call me because he wouldn't care enough to, probably mumble something like, "This is your problem, you take the initiative, hmph, hmph, hmph."

So I would call him. And he would answer. And we would be on our way.

I waited for his phone to pick up, but it didn't. It didn't even go to voice mail. I bit my lip, suppressing the panic surging in my stomach.

I called him. He didn't answer. We weren't on our way.

But that was okay. If he went to find me and couldn't, he would come to the conclusion that I was here. He should be coming back any second.

_So calm the hell down, _I thought to myself, trying to absorb the natural serenity around me. I just had to wait a little longer. Everything was fine. _So calm the hell down. _

I took a seat on a white park chair, my grip lightening against my cellphone. Maybe he'd call too. See, I wasn't entirely out of options. I closed my eyes.

I just had to wait.

* * *

I waited. But he didn't come.

I decided to scan my phone for the second time. 11 p.m. A bemused look settled on my face. What the hell was this? The wedding would be ending in an hour. We should have been _done_ by now.

Where the hell did he go? So that's it? He blows me off?

A chilling thought ran through me. Maybe this was his intention all along. He kept asking me over and over and over if I wanted to go through with it. He wanted me to say no, didn't he? And when I didn't, he probably thought, "Hey, she needs to learn her lesson—needs to learn how ridiculous she's being."

My fists clenched. If he really didn't want to do it, he could have just said no. I mean, I still probably would have forced him into it—but it would have prevented this. I wasn't a patient person.

It wasn't worth my time waiting for something I knew wouldn't happen.

I was already on my feet, pacing the garden so much that it seemed religious. I stopped when my doubt became unbearable, as if it was weighing me down. As I took in the cool air, another chill ran through me. A thought. My eyes widened at this realization. It was almost too absurd to believe. Let alone conjure up.

But it occurred to me nevertheless.

_What if Shadow went to go see Scourge without me?_

I shook my head, fighting the fluster of emotions running inside me. I was being unreasonable. There was no way. There was _no_ way.

I closed my eyes. But he did have the emerald. The capability.

My eyes snapped open. But he didn't have the glove. I felt my body calm like my environment. He needed it. He needed _me_.

But then it occurred to me that I had left it in the powder room. In my bag. He could have easily gotten to it, couldn't he?

I started for the room before I could even answer my question. Yes, I knew I'd risk being confronted by random party guests by putting myself in the open—but I had no choice. No choice in anything that mattered.

After a quick power walk through the wedding hall, I entered the powder room. My eyes focused on my purse in the empty room. I charged through it, pulling out any and all useless items, letting them fall chaotically against the floor. And then my heart fell.

It was gone.

I banged a fist against the table, ignoring the pain splintering through my hand, the betrayal shattering my mind.

Shadow.

"That _bastard_," I hissed, fighting off the urge to sob. Some hot tears found their way out of my eyelids, burning my cheeks as I gathered my belongings off the floor, thrashing them angrily in my bag. But who was I kidding? The feeling raging through me was beyond anger. Beyond frustration at the male gender.

I was left. Again. And this was coming from a person who knew how much I was bothered by it the first time.

The word "hypocrite" escaped my mouth as I exited the space, refusing to wipe my eyes clean. Part of me wondered if I was one too, about to leave the wedding in an angered huff. But I didn't want to care about anything anymore.

I bolted into the reception space—it was the only way to the main entrance. The party was still full-fledged, the loud music was a shocking contrast to the silence I had concealed myself in. I marched along the perimeter, the quickest way avoid the dance current and to get the hell out of here. I was just reaching the exit when a hand latched around my arm.

I didn't bother turning around to see who it was.

"Where have you been?" Even in the blare of the music, Blaze's voice cut through the party haze. It sounded more concerned than demanding, but I didn't turn around to entertain her—put her at ease. Because I wasn't.

"Not with Shadow," I responded, my voice clearly provoked and seething with spite. I retracted my arm with a sharp shake. I stomped off before I could feel any worse than I already did.

Because just then, the universe got worst. The realization hit me like the car I didn't have.

I didn't drive here.

My eyes found the sky's ceiling. There was a sliver of moon above me, and a few stars provided some light in an otherwise dark and dismal situation. I started walking.

It would have to do.

* * *

I have to stop doing this to Amy. Anyway, hope you liked this chappy. Some big things are in store for the next one. Big things.

~Kozma B


	16. Just Give Me a Reason

Sorry!

I know I said that I'd be updating everyday.

But I just moved into my dorm, and now that I'm (barely) settled, I figured I might as well update. You're welcome.

However, there will be a slight change in plans. You're welcome.

The original ending that I wrote doesn't completely sit well with me, so I'm trying to see if I can be inspired to write something else. There should be two more chapters after this one, and although chapter 17 is pretty much good to go, I may revise chapter 18. And if I revise chapter 18, I'm probably going to have to write another chapter. At the same time, the college semester just started (or will start on Monday) so although I want to be through with this pretty soon, the project may be delayed. Not seriously, but like a few weeks. Sadly, school work comes first. :(

I'm going to try to have it done before the end of next week because the first week of school is pretty much just showing up for attendance/buying books. I hope you can understand. I don't want to have a sham-rushed-ending like last time. x

So, yes. These are my plans.

Moving on, thank you for the reviews. I know all of you are pissed at Shads, but I can assure you that this chapter will be very interesting. It's one of my favorites. For reasons I'll keep to myself. So what are you waiting for? Read on!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own SEGA or their characters I've been using. But I do own SeGa (not really), if that counts. I don't think it does.

* * *

Chapter 16: Just Give Me a Reason

My plan was to march over to Shadow's house and_ demand _for answers.

But after walking seven miles— I tried to ignore the numb, but throbbing pain in my feet—I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

I had just enough energy to reach my apartment complex, moan at each painful step it took to reach the second floor, open the door, and fall asleep. Bridesmaid gown and all.

My relief should have been found in my sleep. I saw no dreams. Instead, I saw a black nothingness. But it was a nightmare in its own. Because that was my life. A black nothingness. A life of my own miserable choosing.

I woke up in the morning with bloodshot eyes. I could feel the impact of last night take its toll on me. Part of me—the selfish, self-aware part—was wondering why no one had bothered to check on me. But I was Annoying Amy. So much of a bitch that I probably ruined the last blissful hour of a wedding.

I slapped a hand to my head, letting it trail downward. A yawn escaped my throat in a low wail as I rose to my feet. Nearly tripping on my crinkled gown, I walked slowly to the bathroom. I tried to wash the misery off my face. But it held on strong.

I took a shower. But I still felt filthy with humiliation and betrayal.

I dressed. But I was still naked—empty and unaccomplished.

My eyes scanned my phone. Twenty messages. Two from Sally. One from Cream. One from Rouge. One from Sonic. Six from Parker. Nine from Blaze. Glad to see I was still loved.

I tucked it back into my purse. Nothing from Shadow. It's not like I was expecting anything, but it would have at least helped my attitude. You know, in that, calling-is-the-least-you-could-have-done-even-thou gh-it-wouldn't-fix-_anything _sort of way.

I sent a text all of their ways, an "I'm fine. Alive. Don't worry about melodramatic ole' me" to calm their worried spirits. That is, if they actually cared. They were sick of me. But we had been friends too long for them to completely dump me. I knew where they lived, after all. And I was unstable.

So unstable little me was going to try my best to stabilize. I was going to pick up from last night. I was going to get answers. I shook my head as I started for the outside. _Ultimate Life Form, my ass._ I didn't know what his deal was.

But he was going to have to deal with me.

* * *

The drive to his house was quick and blank. I was trying to restrain myself from going there-spewing out my anger. I was saving everything though, everything I had to say for his truly.

I mean, where did he get off—I shook my head as I started for his porch. _Save it. _He'd get the taste of my wrath in a minute. My fist rapped against the door—hard, rapid thuds that seemed to grow louder as time passed. It had only been a few seconds but I could already feel my annoyance spiking.

"SHADOW." I was hitting the door with both of my fists. "If you don't open the door this second I'll hammer it to the ground!"

I wasn't surprised by his response of silence—it only increased my irritation. "SHADOW!"

"Do you lack any patience?" The door was open now. Shadow's grip circled my fists. He drew them down before snapping them toward my sides. "Or have you completely lost your sanity?"

I scowled, my eyes narrowing against his calm form. Where does he get off being calm? "You better watch it," I warned him. I would have bolted in the house, but I didn't want to go there. We could settle anything we had to out here. I was done with him.

"And if I don't?" he taunted me, his crimson eyes sharp and critical. I knew that as far as threats went, I could never scare him into submission. I crossed my arms instead, realizing that me being visibly angry wouldn't help anything. I sighed, trying to fight off the heavy, furious frown on my face. But it felt permanently etched there, as if I was a statue whose designated emotion was an angry one.

"You went without me," I said, my voice low and bitter. My fists clenched. "_Why_? I thought we had an agreement."

"The agreement was that we would meet at ten to go about the mission," he said, his tone flat. "You didn't come. Apparently you were too busy dancing with some possum to care."

I gritted my teeth. "I was dancing. Having a good time. Something you're apparently too good for."

Shadow shook his head. "I never said that, Rose." His brows furrowed. "And I would prefer if you wouldn't put words in my mouth."

"And I would prefer if you wouldn't betray me."

He gave me a look; it was hard to decode. But I knew my words were successful at cracking at his expressionless exterior. Somewhat.

He sneered. "I was merely looking out for your best interests," he offered. I shook my head.

"Complete and utter bull-crap!" I said, my words coming out in a strained yell. "Besides, I never asked you to do anything other than to help me."

"I am," he said, crossing his arms. I pouted, my gaze landing on some shrubs lining the porch. Despite how angry I was, I believed him. Shadow wasn't wishy-washy. Yes, I was beyond mad that he went through the mission without me. But what was beginning to bother me now was the fact that he wasn't telling me about it. He didn't even offer a snide remark. I could appreciate a "Scourge is an asshole" right now.

The fact that he wasn't saying anything, even if he was a man of select words, was a bit more unsettling than this whole ordeal.

"Then," I began, the words hanging on the tip of my tongue as if I was scared of his response. "What happened? What did he say?"

"I'm afraid that I can't tell you," he said. He gave me a look like he wanted to, yet he restrained.

"Why not?" I fought back, my chest heaving. I was ready to burst from this aggravation. "First you go without me, and now you won't spill? What the hell is this?"

"Rose." His tone was riddled with caution. "Trust me. It's better off that you move on. He told me to tell you that."

My heart plunged into my stomach. The two of them spoke. About me. Yet I was clueless. "What did you say to him?"

Shadow closed his eyes, as if he were irritated with this discussion. Me interrogating him. "I decided to go by my self merely to see if it if would even be appropriate for you go, given your emotional turmoil."

"But it was _my_ idea," I contended, an almost ballistic fury surging through me.

Shadow shrugged. "Doesn't mean it was a good one. It wasn't, coincidentally."

"Then just tell me what the _hell_ happened!"

He blinked at me, his hard gaze looking down at my furious outbreak. I could feel it—him acting all superior, humoring my absurdity.

"Just tell me..." I was pleading now, my right foot stomping on the ground. "Why is it so hard for people to be honest with me? " I know that I shouldn't have been talking. I have withheld my share of information before. But that information that didn't need to be shared. This had to be.

"It's just...not for the best. I'm sorry." His voice was dripping with compassion. But I didn't want that.

An angry groan rippled through my throat as I charged into his house—catching him off guard for the first time.

"I'm _not_ leaving till you tell me!" I know that I sounded like a bitch. But I was desperate like a bitch. I wanted to move on. I really did. So why did it feel like everyone who was supposed to help me was just pushing me back?

"Stop acting like a child," Shadow warned, probably angry that I had dismissed his effort to sound sincere. I shook my head.

"Stop treating me like one," I countered, my eyes narrowing against his. A staring battle raged on. "Just tell me. What's the worst that would happen?"

"You losing it," he said it like it was a done deal. "Even more so than you have now."

I groaned at his remark. "You really think I'm that fragile? Cause I'm not."

He scoffed. "I'll believe you when you stop crying."

As much as I wanted to wipe away the salty leakage that had trailed out of my eyes, I knew that would just further illustrate his point. "I'm just angry because you deceived me, and now you're not being honest with me." I allowed myself to sniffle, even though I hated myself for doing it. "Don't you know I have trust issues? Yet you're dangling the truth in front of my eyes."

"Knowing the truth is only crucial if it changes something," Shadow argued back. He exhaled, but it wasn't successful at calming him. "In this case it doesn't. So move the fuck on already."

"You don't think I want to?" I yelled, my arms flailing in the air like the crazy woman I apparently was. "You don't think I wouldn't have preferred to have a good time with Parker? You think I wanna be a loner-loser?"

He twitched in repulsion, though I'm not sure what set him off. He recovered quickly, shaking his head at my words as if I declared that my fur was purple with yellow polka-dots.

"Well, no one's stopping you," he said, an annoyed look glazing over his face. I rolled my eyes.

"And what about you?" I asked, actually curious to know. "What's stopping you from smiling, _Mr. Sunshine_?"

His crimson eyes found mine, transitioning from a miffed to a more thoughtful intensity as he studied me. He was probably wondering what I was still doing here.

I rose a brow, not completely sure what had him suddenly suspended in thought. "_Well?_" I know, I know. Here I was, _demanding_ answers in someone else's house; I was being a bitch when it wasn't or at least was no longer warranted.

He sighed, looking away for a moment. See, I told you, he was thinking of a way to get me out of here. And if he didn't say anything I probably would just leave. The damn jackass was hopeless. And I was beginning to truly think that all men were. Maybe Parker was the only exception...

"You." Shadow's words cut me off guard. I had forgotten the context they fell into. But his lips, pressing against mine, was the ultimate surprise.

My eyes widened on contact, but relaxed at the sensation. A shock of pleasure rippled through me as his mouth parted to against mine, kissing me harder. The feeling rocked my nerves, and I was stunned.

I pulled away, not because I didn't like it (my body had decided for me), but out of confusion. Shadow _kissed_ me. Just when I thought things were unsettling before. But I was...having trouble thinking right now...

"Y-you..." I began, feeling myself beginning to babble like a fool. "L-like me?"

"I've tolerated you," he said matter-of-factly, as if he hadn't just lip-locked me. "But talking to Rouge during her fitting and seeing you dance with that man has made me rethink my stance on relationships. I don't want to be alone forever and I know you don't either."

With a slight nod, I sucked in the air around us. I couldn't wrap my mind around what was happening. My mind raced back to the bar three months ago; the night I got together with Scourge. Maybe if Shadow had said something—expressed himself like he was now—we'd be a happy little couple. Maybe _we'd _be making wedding arrangements.

I shook my head. A future with Shadow? That was absurd, wasn't it? But the more I thought about it—even as my lips tingled with a sensation I had never felt before, it didn't seem impossible. Just out of the blue.

"It's not that easy," I then said, unintentionally trying to make everything difficult. Who said I _wanted_ to be with him? "Just because the rest of our friends have soul-mated-up doesn't mean that we're destined to be together."

"I know." He looked irritated with himself, like a young boy who didn't know what to do with his feelings. "But despite your usual temperament, we understand each other in a way the others don't."

I didn't have to ask him to explain to understand what he meant. Loneliness. We knew how it felt to be lonely. To lose things we wanted. Or loved. But I knew my case wasn't nearly extreme as his.

But he made it seem so rational. Like love was just fitting two mismatched pieces of a puzzle. One plus one equaling one. And wasn't it?

His eyes locked onto mine, and it took me a moment to realize that I was still in his arms. Maybe this was natural. I let myself relax in his embrace. It was welcoming—but that fact, because it was Shadow, made it weird. This sudden shift was weird. But the back of my mind told me this was appropriate.

"I know this is sudden," he said, practically reading my mind. "But Rouge told me that you have to take a chance in anything worth pursing." His hand clamped over mine, sending a warm vibration through me.

"I'm not saying that we'll amount to anything," he continued. "But forget about Scourge. I'm here, and we can try." I allowed my head to rest along the crook of his neck. "If you want."

I rose to look up at him, his expression a calming mixture of sincerity. It was like I was a child and he was promising to get rid of all the monsters in my closet.

"_Forget about Scourge."_

I could never forget. But I was realizing that I could move on—without his blessing.

I didn't know how to answer Shadow's proposal. So I answered it the only way I felt was fitting. We were kissing, and it felt right. His hand cupped my cheek; his lips were tender against mine until we grew in aggression. Our tongues had found each other and I tilted my head to taste him. His breath had a non-scent, matching his usual expressionless deposition.

My head bobbed against his, my hands trailing against his shoulders, pulling at his quills. He groaned in pleasure, attacking my mouth harder, sucking and grinding against my tongue. The sensation forced my eyes open. They rolled back when he started sucking on my neck with hot, sensual dabs that set me on fire. He licked my neck slowly with long, vertical slides...arousing me...beyond repair.

"_Shadow," _I moaned. My legs were getting weak, but I pushed back, until we landed in the leather chair behind him. I pulled him closer, grinding my chest against his, emitting a roar within him. His chest fur was incredibly soft, as I began to caress him. The strap to my shirt fell, but I ignored it, smacking my lips against his, his firm hands traveling along my waist.

I could feel his fingers riding up my blouse, inching above my waist. This alerted me lightly; Maybe we were moving to fast. Maybe we should stop—

He suckled on my lower lip, drawing a high moan out of me—shattering my thoughts. Traveling to my chin, then back to my neck, I threw my head back in lewd delight, watching him through lidded eyes. His remained closed, concentrated as if his one and only purpose was to pleasure me.

Dabbing kisses on my neck, I let out a low sigh.

"It's been a long time," he said, finding my lips again. "But." _Kiss._ "We need." _Kiss._ "To stop." _Kiss. _His words were teasing, because he began to thrust his hips into mine, and I could feel the heat of his arousal against mine. I moaned though our lip lock, as he placed his strong hands on my hips, guiding me in his stiff erection.

My insides were melting. My body was on fire. I shook my head, gripping onto his quills as my hips gyrated. I was about _lose_ it. "No, this feels _too_ good." I said in a dreamy sigh, my mind surging in a rush to feel _everything_. I missed this feeling. This euphoric urgency.

With an exhale, Shadow's thrusting diminished. "I don't want to rush. We're hardly an item." He looked down at me, his look serious but reluctant. Though there was a satisfied glow in his eyes. I closed my eyes, letting my body cool. Burying my head in his neck, I smiled like a fool. My entire body was tingling.

"You're right," I sadly agreed, inhaling. I was more winded than him, but it wasn't surprising. He was the Ultimate Life Form. But as I began to trail my fingers along his shoulders as I recovered, I wondered what that made me. As I listened to his heart-beat steady, I also wondered what sex would be like. The horny, sex deprived part of me wanted to press forward—see if Rouge was right.

But if Shadow had me this dazed after _just_ kissing, it was definitely something amazing. Something worth waiting for. He helped me to my feet, and I headed toward the door.

"I apologize for losing control." The look on his face was stern, but I could see a smirk trying to find it's way on the corner of his lip. I placed my hands on my hips.

"Said the master of chaos control," I said, humoring him. "Don't be. Thank you." I kissed his cheek.

"For what?" It came out more like a statement than a question. My eyes bore into his.

"For helping me finally get over what's-his-face," I said. "I mean, I was mad earlier, but you're right. I just have to move on."

"And it will be a pleasure moving on with you." Shadow was smirking now. And I'll tell you, it was a beautiful sight. He needed some of my optimism and I understood his lonesome. We had found company in our misery.

Stepping out of the doorway to the porch, I turned over my shoulder, facing him. "I'm not usually this easy." Funny thing was that I was only half-joking.

"Neither am I." He wasn't joking.

Deciding that we had been intimate enough for one afternoon, I offered him a simple wave before heading out to my car.

"Bye, Shadow."

"Bye, Rose."

* * *

It was a funny thing how life could happen. An hour ago I was prepared to smash into Shadow's windows. Now I was more interested in smashing our lips together.

I breathed a sigh of relief. For once the sunny skies above me did not feel mocking. I felt like I was part of the world again. And I knew that was sad, but I didn't feel burdened anymore. I was no longer in the process of getting over Scourge. I was over him. And I was moving on. With Shadow of all people.

I will admit that the thought was unsettling, but there was something organic about our union that I had never noticed before. It just felt right. Natural. And I wasn't going to oppose it. Nope.

I took a left, starting for my apartment complex. I beaming so much that I was surprised I could still drive. I mean, life had just turned bearable. So bearable, that when my phone rang, I was actually excited to answer it. Boy did I have good news for Blaze!

But when I checked the caller I.D, it wasn't Blaze. It was Parker.

Luckily, it was just a text. But now that I thought about it, that didn't really make me lucky.

I pulled into the parking lot before reading it.

**You said you were fine, but I'm worried. Hope u are safe. I'll call back later, at work.**

**Again, I hope your doing fine. Blaze told me you left the party in tears. We can talk. How about I take you out tomorrow?**

**Parker **

I closed my eyes as I slumped in my chair, feeling my stomach drop with it. _What was I doing? _Twenty minutes ago I was about to give myself to Shadow like a greedy, horny whore. Parker and I weren't exclusive, but I didn't think that meant that I should be dating another guy on the side.

And now everyone's in love with me...

I squeezed my eyes shut harder, trying to think up a solution. _Just let Parker down. Say I'm not ready to commit yet._ But what happens when he see's me arm-in-arm with Shadow?

Well, for one, I didn't take Shadow as the PDA type, so I didn't see that happening, but the guilt of misleading Parker alone could make things awkward between us.

Exiting my car, I groaned when I realized my only option.

I had to tell him the truth. Easy. But painful as hell. Parker would understand, right? He was the rebound guy. We _could_ have been good together, but it never quite seemed right. And he was a handsome doctor. He could get any woman he wanted. _Would_ get any woman he wanted.

Just not me—if he really did feel that way. Other than his genuine like for me, I felt that he was trying to appease his dad; he was a son who took his father's suggestions too seriously. But I was in no place to judge. I walked up the stairs of my apartment complex, each step reminding me of how I always get knocked down when I'm on a high horse.

But this time was different. Shadow wasn't Scourge. I wasn't the naïve first-love-crazy Amy of some months ago. Things were moving quickly, but I was dating one of the fastest hedgehogs alive.

I breathed a sigh mostly filled with relief. I Just had a mild Parker Problem to deal with. Then I could begin a new life with Shadow.

The thought filled me with a sense of calmness as I entered my apartment. Ease. Apparently today was an active phone day, because my kitchen telephone started ringing once I locked the door.

I placed the folly device to my ear. "Hello?"

And then life became difficult.

* * *

Yeah, yeah, I know that Amy's sort of my personal bitch...

But this is what y'all's been waiting for!

ShadAmy?

You know that I hope so. But then again, I can be a masochist. Particularly when it comes to writing. :p

Thanks for reading!

~KozB


	17. Now I'm All Messed Up

Yup, getting settled in. Need to unpack clothes, but I'll save that fun for later. :P

First off, thanks for all of the reviews. It means a lot to me, because you're taking _your_ time to say something about my work. So aside from it being a huge ego trip, it is also very humbling. Thank you to BlackPetals23, RizReviewer, MistyVoid48, Guest(s), Autumn Nocturne, Dark sin broken heart, and Lady Miioh for reviewing either chapter 15 or 16. If I missed you, I'm terribly sorry. And I'm not a bitch. :P

Don't know if I'll have time to do a shout-out for the next chapter, but I just wanted to thank all of you so far. Seriously, thanks.

Because I'm awesome, I've worked out my little issue and chapter 18 (which is the last chapter, sorry!) should be up really soon. Like later tonight soon. I reworked it, and I really want to have the story done before school starts on Monday. I HATE it when things float over my head. I will admit that I do work on other writing projects (yes,yes, I know I said I was a bio major), but since I have an audience here, I don't want to keep you guys waiting. Especially with things drawing to a close.

So anyway, here's the second to last chapter. I hope you all like it. If not, eat a shoe. Just not mine. :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the SEGA characters I'm about to use. Sorry everyone.

Read.

* * *

Chapter 17: Now I'm All Messed Up

Decisions.

Thoughts riddled and wracked through my brain like an unwelcomed visitor—an armed robber holding me at gun point. But instead of demanding for money, they were desperate for answers. Answers that I couldn't come up with if I tried.

And believe me, I was trying.

I placed my phone down, contemplating how easy this could be. I could just say no. Who where they to call me out of the blue? Suddenly accept me when they had previously rejected me? No.

I should just say no. But I knew it wasn't that simple.

I pursed my lips._ Like anything ever was._

It was the University of Mercia. I had been denied admission to their law school. But someone had dropped out last minute. They wanted me.

_Me._

It was stupid for me to even entertain the thought—there was nothing wrong with staying here. But it was my first choice. The better school. I was devastated when I was rejected.

"_Why would I go back?" _I was supposed to say._ "Thanks, but no thanks." _I was supposed to say. The school year would be starting up in a week. It wasn't fair to me.

Yet it was entirely. They could have called up anyone. But they called me. If I ignored the initial rejection, I had earned my way there just like anyone else. I bit my lip as I paced the kitchen floor.

_Decisions, decisions, decisions..._

But who was I kidding. I had already made my decision.

Now I had to face the consequences.

* * *

"You're leaving?"

I didn't know what I was accomplishing by coming here. Saying this.

"Yes," I said with a single nod. I looked up at Parker. "Believe me, it's sudden. I just found out an hour ago."

And part of me wondered if it wrong to tell Parker first. Surely Shadow deserved to know, but the idea of telling him seemed harder.

"University of Mercia?" Parker shook his head, leaning against his counter. We were at the clinic, he was on his break. Or more appropriately, I was _ruining_ his break. "You realize how far away that is?"

_Eight hours._

"I do," I said, crossing my arms. I didn't like it either. Especially not now that I had just gotten together with Shadow. Thanks, universe.

Parker shook his head. "It's okay." He took my hands in his. "We can do the distance."

"Parker..." God, why was it that the most persistent man I'd ever met wanted_ me _so bad? I'm not that attractive. And lately, I don't think I've been much fun to be around (probably why Shadow took to my liking). Parker and I would have been perfect if I met him six months ago. We could still be perfect now. But I wasn't as in to it as I wanted to be, despite my former Scourge dilemma.

"We...can't," I finally said after a while, averting his gaze. The truth. "I'm not going to do that to you. Long distance relationships never work."

Especially not when one of the partners was already dating someone else.

I shook my head. I really was awful, wasn't I? The search mission was supposed to be because of him. Us. Now I was returning from a pretty heated make-out session with Shadow. I shook my head again. _Shadow of all people. _

But I had known him a long time. Maybe I had always liked him subconsciously. It would explain why I was able to fall into his arm so easily-forget about Parker so easily.

"Well," Parker began, stepping toward me. I tried not to flinch. "Do you _want_ to try?"

We all knew my answer.

I shook my head rapidly, wondering if my eagerness was sending the wrong message. But I already was, wasn't I?

Parker sighed, tapping his foot. For the first time ever, it was hard to read him. His face was filled with contemplation, as if he was the only one taking the whole thing seriously.

"I mean, I don't know if it's worth it," I offered instead, trying to be more sympathetic. "You're a handsome, single doctor. You'll get snatched up once I walk out of the door." I grinned.

But he didn't follow in my lead. My face fell. Anti-Pessimism Parker was frowning. And I was the cause of it._ Again_. Maybe I really _was_ a bad influence on him—

"Is there something else you aren't telling me?" His blue eyes had darkened, like the sky after a sunset. Only the look he was giving me didn't produce any natural ease.

"I've told you everything." _I told him virtually nothing._ I mean, maybe this was stupid. Why was I going to leave everything for a school that had rejected me in the first place? But I guess I was twisted like that. I didn't like uncertainty; I knew that I would be denying myself of a valuable educational experience, like I knew that if I went with Parker without at least trying to seek out Scourge, I would have never been fully invested in the relationship. But now that I thought about it, considering the fact that I didn't end up with Parker, and I never actually sought out Scourge, I didn't know if that was the best example.

I sighed. It was a gut feeling—I had to go there. I wanted to be able to explain it, rationalize it like the wannabe-lawyer in me should have been able to. But I just couldn't.

"No, you haven't." He was crossing his arms now. I sighed; this talk wouldn't be over anytime soon. "You ran off at the wedding. You never came back. Why are you running away from me? Did I do something?"

I bit my lip, feeling his questions, like vomit, rile up in my stomach.

"I'm not running away," I replied after a while in a low whisper. "I'm going to law school, _doctor_. Aren't you supposed to be happy?" I wish I had said that with a little less bark in my tone, but this whole thing was getting annoying.

I wanted to like Parker. And I did. I just didn't want to be with him. Seemed simple enough. How come I couldn't vocalize this?

_Because I don't want to sound like even more of a bitch, _I decided. My eyes bore into his, trying to drain his concern, his interest in me. This would be a lot easier if he didn't care.

"I know," he said, his tone sounding a little taken back. "It's just, I never imagined this being so complicated."

My brows rose. How were things complicated for him? After all, he was the one with innocent intentions. I did too, but my affections toward him were no longer pure. "What do you mean?"

He shook his head. "I took you on a date, not thinking we'd mount to much. But I don't know, you've taken a part of me." He cupped his hands over mine. "I think about you constantly."

My mouth parted as I stared back at him. _What the hell was I supposed to say to that? _

"Me too," I paused, wondering if what I had just said was a lie. I decided it didn't matter. "But that doesn't mean that we're meant to be together."

A sincere gaze met mine. "It would sure be easier if that was the case." He released my hands. "But I'm afraid you're right. I want you to do whatever makes you happy."

I nodded. "I want the same for you."

We were compatible. But Parker deserved better than that. So did I.

"I'm sorry," I then said, brushing a hand through my quills. "I didn't mean to cause you all of this trouble. I'm sorry I was never—"

"Stop apologizing," Parker said, motioning his arm for me to halt my efforts. "It's okay." His smile returned, and I knew things really were okay. "It's my dad, though. He'll be so devastated."

I scoffed at that remark. "If it makes you feel any better, I think he may already be onto us."

Parker blinked at me. "How so?"

I sighed. "The sunglasses."

"The sunglasses?"

I nodded, not eager to spill more detail but feeling that I owed him somewhat of an explanation. "Belonged to my ex-boyfriend. But I was wearing them as an act of defiance, I promise!" I said, trying to restore my voice to it's normal, up-beat quality. Parker chuckled.

"As long as that's the case." It was good to see that this conversation had simmered into casual banter. However, in light of the light circumstance, Parker gave me a pretty serious look.

"Be safe." He pulled me into a light embrace. I hesitated for a moment, before letting myself melt along his form.

"I will."

But I didn't know if I wanted to go anymore.

* * *

It might of seemed hasty. But the school was expecting for me to be there in two days. Emailed me my plane ticket.

Naturally, I was uncomfortable with the lack of time. I mean, I would keep my apartment, so it wasn't like I had to _actually_ pack up my life. A suitcase or two would be all I needed. But I knew that I needed more than that.

I needed my friends. My life.

Even Shadow.

It was already evening, and I had began packing—just in case I _did_ go through with it—but I hadn't informed him. Or the others.

I was surprised Blaze hadn't barged in here with my usual interrogation group. But Rouge was on her honeymoon with Knuckles, and I'm pretty sure Blaze and Sally had to clear up the hall, probably with the help of the other guys.

I didn't want to feel selfish, but I did. Was that wrong? Was I wrong to considering this? And I know, I probably sounded like a broken record. But maybe my life was a broken record-all shattered and stagnant.

I had a love for Shadow that was a little bit more innocent than romantic. But I knew that our relationship could grow and I would see him in that light. A light of him being mine, and me being his.

But wasn't I moving too fast? I mean, if I didn't have the excuse of attending a distant law school, I would have had to lie in front of Parker's face.

And despite Shadow's good intentions, he did screw me over. He told me not to worry about what happened when he addressed Scourge, that I could only move on. And I bought into his words _really_ quickly. But when he kissed me...

This was my problem. I was a twenty-three-year-old with the romantic inexperience of a teenager. Maybe I needed to mature. And what if the only way to mature was to step away from everything? Focus on something else so that I could return and look at love with wiser, more impartial eyes.

I shook my head as I folded a shirt into my suitcase. Even to me that sounded dumb. Love wasn't something that was logical, or calculated. If that was the case, I would have been with Parker straight from the get-go. I would have never hooked up with Scourge. I would have never ended up with Shadow.

I clamped a hand over my head, feeling my thoughts knot over and contradict themselves. I was beyond confused. With relationships, the quality of my own judgements, and life in general.

I shut my suitcase, starting for the front door. You packed when you had a destination in mind. And although I did, physically, emotionally, I had no idea where my life was headed.

So I went to the only person who could straighten things out.

* * *

It was a shame that I always had to retreat here, like I couldn't make a decision for myself.

"Phil," I said, taking a seat on a bar stool. "Can we talk?"

Despite the relatively somber tone of my voice, Phil perked up in response, the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes lifting with his smile. I sighed to that.

"Sure," he said, wiping a glass dry. "Shoot."

My lips puckered—I didn't know what to start with first. What, was I supposed to explode about how Parker and I didn't work out? Or was I supposed to start with the big problem? When I saw his smile begin to fade, I knew that whatever I said wouldn't be good.

"I—"

"There's someone else, isn't there?" His eyes shot down to reach mine. I tried not to wince at the intensity. Until I realized that the light in his eyes was the blinding truth of reality. If I couldn't be honest with Phil, then who could I be honest with?

"Yes," I said with a sigh. "It's no longer Scourge," I said, hoping that would make things better. But it only made me feel worse. "But that's not all I wanted to talk about."

He nodded, his presence seemed understanding enough. I mean, I didn't know if it bothered him that I wasn't going to end up with his son. He suggested it constantly, but playfully. So that meant everything had to be okay, right?

"My first choice law school called out of the blue," I started, carefully. "I really want to go, but that sort of means screwing over everything I have here." I closed my eyes. "Especially with Shadow."

"Shadow?" Phil asked, his brows curving upwards. "I remember him, dark and somber. Came in here once."

"Yeah, he flicked me off here once," I said, my lips drawing upwards in a nostalgic grin. It was funny. That same night was the night I went home with Scourge. Maybe if I hadn't pissed Shadow off, we would have been together a long time ago. Or I just would have been alone all this time. I probably wouldn't have met Parker either. I tapped my fingers on the bar top. It wasn't wise to question the past. But what about my decisions?

"Am I doing the right thing?" I said in a whisper, surprised it could still be picked up in the buzzy bar space. Phil leaned against the counter, his mouth opening to respond without a second to contemplate it.

"I think that you've been caught up in the love scene. But you're so young, you have plenty of time to find the perfect person for you. And you shouldn't deny a wonderful opportunity because of this. If Shadow really loves you, he can wait. You can wait." He pinched my hand with his. I brought my gaze to his.

"You have everything going for you. Maybe you need to leave—grow confidence in yourself. Focus on yourself. Now's the time to be selfish."

"I don't want to be selfish," I countered, shaking my head. "It feels like I've been that way with Parker. He did everything right, but I still shoved him away." I made out with Shadow when he was probably worried sick of me.

Phil shook his head. "You can't control how you feel about people. Love doesn't work like that." I couldn't' help but nod to that sentiment. Rouge had expressed something of the sorts to me during her fitting. Because honestly, I never would of thought I'd end up with Shadow. _Never._

"It would have been selfish down the road," Phil continued. "My son needs to be with someone who loves him. So do you." He smirked as he passed a drink down the counter to a customer. "But you and the black hedgehog." His shoulders bounced up and down, as if to restrict that laugh threatening to spill from his tongue.

I pursed my lips, crossing my arms. "What's so funny?"

He shook his head, lifting his hand to dismiss my concern. When he recovered, he narrowed his eyes into a squint. "Odd couple."

My mouth parted, a light scoff escaping it. "I know," I agreed, nodding. "But it feels right."

Just like going to the University of Mercia.

I closed my eyes, wondering why everything in my life spelled conflict. Maybe it was the universe's sick attempt to make my life entertaining at my expense. That had to be it.

I let my gaze meet Phil's. "Thank-you for everything," I said. "I'm sorry I've been a handful."

"Alas, not more of a handful than my actual daughters." There was a smile in his eyes. "Take care, Amy."

I reached in for a hug, even though it was slightly awkward over the counter space. When we released, I smiled back at him. "I'll do my best."

Maybe I should have left off with something a little bit more reassuring, but I didn't want to come off as fake.

Phil nodded, patting my shoulder. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

Pulling my bag from the counter, I nodded as well. "Thank you."

As I walked out of the establishment, I was surprised that I hadn't seen the cheetah waitress. Maybe it was a sign. If I left to the university, then that really would mean that I was "out of men". I wrinkled my nose at the thought.

_Did that mean I would lose Shadow?_

* * *

Ah, conflict is what makes the world goes round. Sorry Amy. I know I keep saying that, but sorry.

Ready to see how it all ends?

Until we meet again, amigos.

~Kozma B


	18. Hate to See Your Heart Break

So we've reached the end.

At this time I'd like to give some final shout-outs to Pinkrosey14, Autumn Nocturne, Guest(s), MistyVoid48, RizReviewer, Lady Miioh, Dark sin broken heart, BlackPetals23, Bana, fairlyoddme, AN-Doublerainbow-NA, and DIM66-Insane Leader for reviewing. If I missed anyone, sorry.

It's the night before my first day of classes, and somehow it seems fitting to end here. Like a new beginning.

I'm not going to say much, other than the fact that it's been an honor. It's amazing to have such loyal readers because writing is truly a passion of mine. And although I pretend to like biology, my true love is creating-bringing fictional ideas to life.

So I hope everyone enjoys the last chapter. I apologize in advance for errors. I'm a college student. I barely have time to breathe. *cues breathing break*

That's better. So read on!

**Disclaimer:** After all this time, I'm still saying that I don't own SEGA. So leave me alone.

Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 18: Hate to See Your Heart Break

I was done.

Packing, I mean.

I probably made record time, and the record for not-packing-every-single-article-of-clothing-that- I-owned. But I knew why it was so easy.

I did so in a blind flurry-blocking out everything I cared about. Everything that was hard.

I paced my living room—the sitcom that was on TV wasn't distracting in the slightest. The character was having boyfriend troubles. I turned it off, letting my thoughts fully consume me instead.

I knew what I had to do. But knowing and doing were two completely different things, separated by a fine line I wasn't ready to cross. But I knew that if I didn't cross it voluntarily, I'd be forced to.

The plane would be leaving tomorrow.

And so far the only people that knew were the Possum's and wretched little me. I bit my lip, finding myself pacing around the kitchen now. I still had to make amends. Say goodbyes.

I bit my lip harder, my hands pulling at my quills. This was maddening. I had to do _something_. But I didn't know what to do. My emotional and rational sides were clashing—putting me on edge. I mean, I had made the decision to go. Which meant that everyone else would have to go along with it.

It was just a matter of telling them.

But these were my friends. People I had known for the better half of my life. It was harder living with their disappointment. I could see Shadow now, even more disappointed than usual. At me.

I shook my head. The thought was too much to bear. So another thought replaced it. The wedding. Me leaving in a devastated huff. Kissing Sonic.

If I went to see any of them—Blaze, _Sally_—I would be interrogated to the highest level before any goodbye's would be in order.

I scowled, pulling my purse over my shoulder and whisking my keys from the fruit bowl. But somehow that all seemed better than staying here. At least something could be conclusive. Maybe that's why my thoughts were running wild and rampant.

And I had a way to contain them. If I wasn't killed first.

* * *

I marched to Sally's house, throwing my caution in the wind. Which was foolish, because caution was my only protection. I had no idea what she would do. Kick my ass on the spot? Nag me to Mars? Worse, what if she made _me_ feel bad?

I felt awful about enough things. Stomping on Parker's heart after knowing the feeling. Deciding to leave so abruptly.

But Phil said I _should_ go. And Phil was the wisdom that I was not. Which is why I was going to school: to get smarter. To be independent. To have a real shot at love.

I tapped my foot against the porch impatiently. My thoughts were beginning to consume me again, and all of them were making me feel that I was an idiot who had just walked into her impending doom. I rang the doorbell again. Hey, I was an idiot.

"Sally!" I called out, rapping against the door. "I need to talk to you!" I paused for a moment, to wait for movement from behind the door. I heard nothing. So my rapping continued. "Sally!" My eyes found the sky. "Look, I'm sorry—"

"_You_'re sorry?" The door snapped open on my trigger word. Sally stood in front of me, tapping her foot impatiently like I had before. I stood my ground, however, nodding. If I just went along with it, things would be over quickly, right?

"We were talking, Sonic and I," I began with a sigh. "He sort of implied that I was still into him, so I kissed him to prove that I wasn't." I nodded. Simple. The _truth_.

She gave me a contemplative look, but it was mixed with doubt. "What are you trying to do?" she asked me in a low voice. I blinked at her. It was like the princess turned into a damsel right before my eyes.

"Nothing," I said, letting a sigh escape my lips. "Everything's just been confusing lately."

"Maybe it's only confusing because you're making it that way." There was a little bit of bite in her voice. It pissed me off. But I tried not to let it show.

I pressed my lips into a line, watching her through narrow eyes. "Maybe some of us don't have the luxury of things always working out. Did you catch the bouquet at the wedding, too?"

Her eyes widened lightly at my comment. I closed mine. _Of course she did._

"So I'm sorry," I said, my hands clenching into focused balls. "For making your life difficult." I turned from her, ready to leave. Maybe I was overreacting, but wasn't she _under_-reacting? Her friend disappeared off into the night, and her biggest concern was still that I kissed Sonic? That maybe I'm not that easy to be around?

Well, screw her.

"Amy," Sally called out to me, her voice leveled with irritation. I shook my head, already in the driveway.

"Don't worry," I assured her, bringing my keys out. "You won't be seeing me anymore."

"What do you mean?" Only it wasn't Sally who said that.

I spun my head around to see Blaze walking up the driveway. I groaned, wondering again why everything had to be difficult. I was supposed to leave in an angered huff and never come back. Leave it to Blaze to cramp my style. Not that I had one.

"Amy, what are you talking about?" Blaze asked me again, coming to my side. I clenched my keys in my hand.

With a sigh, I answered. "I'm leaving town."

Blaze's eyes widened. "Why?"

I shook my head, realizing I had sent the wrong message. "Because everyone hates me." My eyes stabbed into Sally's. It wasn't warranted, I know. But as we all knew, I was constantly making rash decisions.

"Amy..." Blaze warned, walking toward me. "What are you talking about?"

I huffed, letting my gaze land on the pavement. "Law school in Mercia. Someone dropped out. They called me. It's sudden." I was simply their next bitch in line. I shrugged, trying to dismiss the intensity in her eyes. If only she could stop making my issues her's. And this wasn't an issue. It was an option. One that was still pending.

But looking better and better as Blaze shook her head.

"I don't understand why you're leaving." Blaze shook her head again, beginning to pace the space as Sally stood there, lost in contemplation of the issue. Or her hatred toward me. It was hard to tell.

I blinked at her, contrary to my effort to downplay this. Truth is, I didn't understand why I was leaving either. I didn't know if it was because I felt I was cutting myself short if I didn't, or if Phil's words were just getting to me. I don't know. It was like peanut butter and jelly. Shadow and me. The combination wasn't supposed to make sense, but it did.

I closed my eyes. _And I still had to tell him about this..._

"When are you leaving?" Blaze asked. But she didn't sound curious. Her voice was barely leveled, as if what she really wanted to ask was, "Why are you being so difficult?"

I sighed, realizing the more I said would only complicate the situation. "Tomorrow."

Blaze scoffed loudly. "Of course you are. How come we're _just_ hearing about this?"

"She's right," Sally countered, crossing her arms.

I gritted my teeth, restraining the urge to call the princess out. "I said it was sudden. They called me yesterday. So I apologize if I'm not psychic or whatever like your stupid boyfriend."

"Hey," Blaze said, her ember eyes lighting on fire. "Leave Silver out of this." She shook her head again. "God, what's gotten into you, Amy? It's like you took a thousand steps back. If something's wrong, just _tell_ us."

"Maybe I'm sick of all of you guys acting like there's always something wrong with me," I said, meeting her glare. "My first choice school called me for acceptance—you wanted me to go there. This is a good thing. Yet the only thing the two of you can do is criticize me."

"Can you blame us?" Blaze said, her voice escalating to a yell. "First you're obsessed with Sonic, then you're obsessed with Scourge. You decline Parker, probably the best guy for you, and then you leave the wedding an hour early crying about Shadow." The flames in her irises died down, but it felt like this dispute was just starting. "We're really worried about you, Amy."

"I never asked for your worry," I hissed back, shaking my head. But she was right. It did feel like we were going backwards. But why did it feel like they were responsible?

"And all we ask for is your honesty," Blaze said, folding her arms. "What happened at the wedding? Did anything happen with Shadow?" I lifted my eyes to meet hers; I parted my mouth to say something that would end all of this.

"Shadow and I—"

"Shadow?" Cream interrupted, coming from behind me, keys jingling in hand. She scrunched up her face at mention of his name, as if the word left a sickening taste in her mouth. "Why are we talking about him? He was _unbelievably _grumpy at the wedding. Called me too perky for my own good."

"Maybe I shouldn't have invited him," Sally said, cupping a hand to her cheek.

"Yes, maybe we shouldn't have." But Blaze's eyes were against mine.

I scoffed, tilting my head to the sky. And to think I was finally going to be 'honest' with them. "Then why the hell did you invite me?"

They were bashing him as if they were better than him. They thought they were better than him. Than me. I shook my head, pulling my purse strap securely over my shoulder. I don't know why I came here—what I was trying to accomplish by coming here.

"If you ladies are done being snotty little bitches, then I'm leaving." I started for my car. I didn't make it three steps before a hand clamped over my arm. I turned to Cream.

"Look Amy, we just want to help." Cream offered me a pained smile. It was hard to see through it. "I want things to go back to the way they were before." Her russet orbs bore into mine. "I want my friend back."

I sighed, looking at the girl. Shadow's comment, although out of place at a wedding, was perfectly fitting. Cream could never understood adversity. She faced most of it when she was like six, anyway. And I'm not surprised she didn't remember.

"You don't understand." My voice was low, but above a mumble. Steady and slow so that she would get the point and back off.

"Then let me!" Cream wove her hands in the air, letting them slide down to her sides in a defeated clap.

"I've been trying." I said, turning my gaze to the rest of the girls. "But it hasn't been working. So I'm not going to waste my time any more."

"What about _our_ time?" Blaze shuffled in front of Cream, feeling her attempts become useless. "We've been trying, too. And maybe if you wouldn't leave us in the dark, we could shed some light as to what is bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me!" I contended, my hands forming fists, trying to drain out my frustration. But it had seeped into the air, and I felt like I was choking in anger. I clenched them harder. The funny thing was that nothing really was bothering me. Until I came here.

"Yes there is!" Blaze yelled, practically heaving. I wished that I hadn't awoken this riled side in her. But this dispute could be as simple as me leaving and them getting a hold of themselves in my absence.

I shook my head, already starting for my car. "For the millionth time, I said there is _not _anything bothering me." I turned around briefly, my eyes meeting her wild ones. "And if you were my friend, you would see that."

Blaze scoffed, releasing more tension in the air as she started for me. "If you were our friend you wouldn't be leaving like this." She was in front of me now, her eyes critical and brimming with disappointment. "I didn't know that you weren't any better than Scourge."

I gasped before slapping her. "Don't you _ever_ compare me to him."

I looked at her with manic eyes, expecting her to slap me back. Or worse, light me on fire. That would be best. Then I would die and be no one's problem anymore.

Clutching her injured cheek, Blaze glared at me with wounded, teary eyes. The sight sent a jolt of self-directed disgust through me. My mouth parted to say something, but Sally came rushing to Blaze's side, pushing me away from her. Cream bolted to her, glaring at me through baffled eyes.

I clamped my mouth, realizing words could not repair the damage I had done. So I did what a coward would do.

I left the scene of angered friends with no intention of ever coming back.

* * *

The drive back home was a quiet, haunting one. The encounter replayed in my mind in a sickening-slow pace every time I blinked my eyes. I could see their faces. The aggravation I had caused them over the years. The hurt.

And because I was a terrible person, I tried to find reasons to blame them for my misfortune. Like Sally dating Sonic despite my feelings toward him, Blaze's over-compassionate efforts that sent me to the highest cliff on insanity, and Cream's constant optimism toward love that made me spiral into the pessimistic hole that I had dug for myself.

I closed my eyes, and I could see it all over again. But it wasn't their fault. At least, not really. Not directly.

The blame belonged to me. And this time I wasn't going to pretend that it didn't.

I mean, when did I become this way? Desperate. Self-pitying. Violent.

I could go on a spiel about how I was no longer ignorant, or that I had grown up and part of growing up meant dealing with the real world that really sucked, but nothing seemed appropriate. Like I was in a void and I was trying to hang a picture in it.

I opened my door with something that was the combination of a sigh and a groan toward life. I shut it behind me with my foot, plopping my purse on the kitchen counter. I tapped my finger-tips against it. Not in compilation, but in complacency. Yesterday life seemed limitless. Now it felt like I was in a void. And I still couldn't hang pictures.

Snapping the refrigerator open, I brought out a small bottle of pink moscato. I gulped it down quickly, the fleeting thought that I may be a budding alcohol came to me. I winced as the though and drink settled in my stomach. But then I remembered that this was my only bottle. And I was doing this because of my bitchy company. In a day I wouldn't have to worry about them.

I rose to my feet, semi-surprised that the alcohol hadn't relieved the part of my brain that was throbbing with ill-feelings. I walked slowly to my bedroom, happy (for the first time today) to see that I was pretty much packed up. That just left cleaning.

A perfect outlet to clear my thoughts. Hopefully.

* * *

The sky was bathed in sunset when I finished cleaning. Tired, I took to watching some television on my sofa. I couldn't remember what was on when I fell asleep to the thought of why I insisted on making everything so hard, and why the universe never intervened.

* * *

Ready.

I don't know who decided that anyone could ever be prepared. Because in any given moment of any given day of any given circumstance, a person could always use more time to prepare. Maybe I needed more time to prepare.

Maybe I had to reconsider.

I shook my head again, letting the warm shower water douse my uncertainty. Today was the day. In four hours I'd be on my way to Mercia. Making something out of this sham of a life. And I guess I was ready for that.

Once I dressed, I went to the kitchen to get my phone. There was still something I had to do. Despite waiting to the last possible minute. I sighed before dialing.

I expected that it wouldn't go through. I stretched my arms, exhaling my disappointment. "Guess I have to do this the old fashion way." Not that I didn't have the intention of heading over there. Just with the flight, I didn't want to waste time hunting down Shadow.

Gathering my keys and purse, I started for the door. But when I opened it, Shadow barged through.

I would have applauded him on his excellent timing, but the look on his face froze me in place. I blinked at him. "Shadow?" I reanimated, moving toward him. "What's wrong?"

His head snapped toward my direction. "You know very well what's wrong."

I bit my lip, letting my gaze join his. "I didn't know—"

"It was Blaze who called me," he began, his crimson eyes filling with hostility. "She was blaming me for something—a dispute, the wedding. It was hard to tell with her catty friends yelling in the background."

He shook his head, crossing his arms. "Naturally, I could of cared less." His eyes were on mine again. "But then she said that you were leaving. And I waited for you to say something. But apparently I'm not important."

My gaze found the floor. I had told everyone but him. I was meaning to tell him...but everything got away from me. I lifted my head.

"We had a fight. Me and the others. I was so upset I must of forgotten." I moved toward him, hoping he could accept my truth. "I'm sorry."

But he just stared at me. I don't think it was out of malice or vexation, but it was hard to tell with him. It was hard to tell how anyone felt about me.

Shadow exhaled, his gaze meeting mine. "If you didn't want us to be together, you never had to agree to it."

I held my breath, my cheeks expanding with restrained air. What was I supposed to say? That we had been dating for a day, and this opportunity was just as out of the blue as our relationship?

"I'm not leaving to hurt you," I found myself saying, moving closer. But I could suddenly feel a wall between us.

"Then why does it...feel like that?" Shadow shook his head again. In turn I bit my lip again. It was weird seeing him this way. Uncertain. It didn't occur to me before, but just because Shadow had experience in intimacy, didn't mean that he'd ever been in a romantic relationship.

What we were embarking on, practically in both of our cases, was a real relationship. And here I was, severing the ties for no reason.

'"I don't have to go," I offered. His eyes softened, and I could feel the barrier between us diminish. Even if it was only slightly. I nodded, moving closer. "I was still considering it. That's why I wasn't in a rush to tell you."

This was the truth, wasn't it? That's why I had been running up and down the place. I will admit that I told this to Parker mostly so that I sever our romantic ties, but going to Phil and and the others was just to make amends. And amends didn't mean leaving.

There was a contemplative look in Shadow's eyes, as if he was now relatively comfortable with me leaving him in the dark.

Until his eyes flickered to the suitcases some feet away from me. His angered gaze returned to me.

"Liar."

I hated the hiss in his voice. I hated that I was the cause of it.

My eyes widened in response; I shook my head. "Shadow, I was still—"

"I'm not mad that you're leaving." His eyes were closed, and so was he to me. "I would have supported it. But you didn't give me a chance." He returned his gaze to meet mine. "And that was all I ever wanted from you."

"You think this is easy on me!" I yelled, feeling my heart shatter from the intensity. From this. "It's a constant battle. What my emotions are telling me. What the rational thing to do is..."

"The rational thing is to simply tell the person you are dating that you will be leaving the city indefinitely!" He argued back, somehow the voice of reason when I was the act of treason.

I don't know why I looked so taken back; he was right. Everyone was right. So maybe it was time to be wrong by myself.

"Whatever," I said, waving my hands in defeat. "I'm _sorry_. I didn't mean...to hurt...anyone." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I didn't want to be lonely. But wasn't I the one spitting at my company in the eye?

"Rose..." he began, taking in the devastating sight of me just being a wreck like usual. "...Stop crying."

I shook my head, half tempted to stomp my foot at the absurdity of it all. "I can't help it." Just like I couldn't help the fact that I _really_ wanted to go to the University of Mercia. Or the fact that I_ really_ wanted to be in Shadow's arms right now, despite us just becoming a couple and the tension I could feel radiating off of him. The tension _I_ had foolishly caused.

"Let me in," I said, giving into stomping my right foot. "Stop looking at me like that. Like I'm an awful, careless person."

"I never said that—"

"You don't have to say it," I said, sniffling. I tilted my head to meet his face. I didn't want to give up on us. We hadn't even started.

"We can still make it work," I felt myself persuading, recovering from my emotional lapse. "We can still see each other. You can—"

"Amy." Him, calling me that was alarming. My eyes widened as I shook my head again, becoming dizzy of the act, of whatever this was. "You know very well—"

I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want him to reject us. I kissed him, wrapping my arms around him. But he didn't kiss back. I opened my eyes to study him, his eyes were closed in a hard squint. He wanted to close out the idea of us. And I realized that I technically couldn't make him stop.

I released, letting my hand caress his cheek. I bit my bottom lip hard. I didn't want to cry again. He'd probably just attribute my emotional weakness/instability as another reason why he couldn't put up with me. If it wasn't _the_ reason.

I nodded, taking his silence as the answer to our status. "When I get back."

He shook his head, his crimson eyes critical and somber against mine. "Don't bother."

My mouth parted, quivering at the harshness of his words. Of his dismissal. "You...don't mean that." Emotional weakness took over, and I could feel hot tears spill from my eyelids.

His gaze softened, but not his stance on this situation. "I don't." He shook his head again, like the thought of me, of _us_, was suddenly unbearable. "Go."

"But we can—"

"I don't know if I can," was his reply. He gave me a look, something that was the unsettling combination of disappointment and defeat. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry."

My mouth opened to say something, but I guess he didn't want to hear it, because I was alone again.

And I never remembered it hurting so much.

* * *

The flight attendant told me to smile. I wanted to tell her to save that bull for someone else.

But I had upsetted enough people for a week. A lifetime.

I dragged my carry-on luggage behind me, joining the crowded plane space. I took a seat, letting the collective buzz of conversation drown my thoughts—my memories of estranged friends and almost-lovers.

Because none of that would matter where I was going. The attendants shut the overhead compartments and insured us that the ride would be smooth and pleasant. I could only hope that they were also referring to my life. I closed my eyes.

And took flight.

* * *

Alas, this is where we have come to.

If it isn't obvious, there will in fact be another, final installment. I don't know when it will be up, but it could either be a couple months, or later next year. I don't like to rush. Or make promises I can't keep.

So thanks again for your support. Hope you liked it, and I can't wait to write for you all again in the future.

With care,

Kosma Bandra


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